DOI Heft:
May 14, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0238
May 14, 1892.]_PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI._229^
tossing down a glade. I don't think I hit anything, and Hugh,
CONFESSIONS OF A DUFFER. without making any remark took the rifle and strode off in a new
T „„„ „ „„„„ direction. I was nearly dead with fatigue, I was wishing Mr. Bryce
No. IX. THE DUFFER DEER-STALKING. and ^ British Tourigt my ghare rf Accesg ^ Moimtains< when we
I am in favour of Mr. Bryce's Access to Mountains Bill, and reached the crown of a bank above a burn, which commanded a view
of Crofters who may be ambitious to cultivate the fertile slopes of of an opposite slope. Hugh wriggled up till his eyes were on a level
all the Bens in Scotland. In fact, I am in favour of anything thatj with the crest, and got his long glass out. After some interval of
will, or may, interfere with the tedious toil of Deer-stalking. Mr. ; time, he wakened me, to say that if I snored like that, I would not get
Bryce's Bill, I am afraid, will do no good. People want Access to I a shot. Then he showed me, or tried to show me, through the glass,
Mountains when they cannot get it; when once they can, they will; a stag and three hinds, far off to our right. I did not see them, I
stay where the beer is, and not go padding the wet and weary hoof j very seldom see anything that people point out to me, but I thought
through peat-bogs, over rocks, and along stupid and fatiguing accli- [ it wise to humour him, and professed my satisfaction. Was I to
vities, rugged with heather. Oh, preserve me from Deer-stalking ; shoot at them ? No, they were about half a mile off, but, if I waited,
it is a sport of which I cherish only the most sombre memories. j they would feed up to us, so we waited, Hugh nudging me at
They may laugh, and say it was my own fault, all my misfortune intervals to keep me awake. Meanwhile I was practising aiming at
on the stalk, but a feeling reader will admit that I have merely been ; a distant rock, about the place where I expected to get my shot, as
unlucky. My first adventure, or misadventure if you like, was at! Hugh instructed me, I thought the wretched rifle was at half-cock,
Cauldkail Castle, Lord Gaberlunzte's place, which had been rented and I aimed away, very conscientiously, for practice. Presently the
by a man who made a fortune in rifle went off with a bang, and I
patent corkscrews. The house a ^ saw the dust fly on the stone I
was pretty nearly empty, as ^ad ^een Pra°tising at. It had
everyone had gone south for the /l^^^w^ not been at half-cock, after all;
Leger, so it fell to my lot to go y|§l|f warned by my earlier misfor-
out under the orders of the head /41|lf ^ tunes, Hugh had handed the
stalker. He was a man of six f^^Bf ^ r^e ^° me coeke(l- The stag
foot three, he walked like that £§St A^g^v, ~~~ <^_, and the hinds were in wild
giant of iron, Talus his name . (EsfiL retreat at a considerable distance,
was, I think, who used to peram- ^§8lL siliiilll /^r^ ^ had some difficulty in explain--
bulate the shores of Crete, an ~5pj@r nSB^^^y - / ^fe? 1'n? to Hugh, how this accident
early mythical coast - guard. "~------ vX/^^T bad occurred, nor did he seem to
Hugh's step on the mountain 7771^^^^^^^^^^^=====^^^§' j| "7 share my satisfaction in having
was like that of the red deer, and -i^^^^^^^^^^7t/<t^^^^^-~/!0^ - kit the stone, at all events,
he had an eye like the eagle's of ^e l,e8'a11 a difficult march
his native wastes. ^^s^?25^^?>>v!^^^^^^^^^8^^^^^^^~ ____ homewards, we were about thir-
It was not pleasant, marching —""^v^^^^^^^^^^^^T / // teen miles now from Cauldkail
beside Hugh, and I was often ■ / .Bf^S^B^S^—^ //' Castle. Hugh still, from habit,
anxious to sit down and admire f ^^S\y^ would sit down and take a view
the scenery, if he would have let / /^^^^^^f^^^^m ^^^^^^—zE^^^^^^^^^r through that glass of his. At
me. I had no rifle of my own, / y^H^^^y^^^^^W ^^=^^^^^^^^^^^?~ ^as^ he snirfc it uPi like Wel-
but one was lent me, with all the / ^^^^^^^^^^^^K Vr.M lijtgton' at Waterloo, and said,
latest improvements, confound / "^^^^^^^^^^^s, x^^^I/r^—^ " Maybe ye'11 be having a chance
them! Well, we staggered I ^yy^?flfff^^ v Sr''f^m)' r:r^=^1-r~- yet, Sir." He then began crawl-
through marshes, under a blind- / ~^0\ ^^^^"^^^F ~~^^=^' UP a sl°Pe °f heather, I
ing sun, and clambered up cliffs, \ ^^^^^^^^m^^^i Jf?following, like the Prophet's
and sneaked in the beds of burns, \j^Sa. s '.Jf^ r\ donkey. He reached the top,
and crawled through bogs on our ___whence he signalled that there
stomachs. My only intervals of p==^=g^r _-^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^) n>\ was a shot, and passed the rifle
repose were when Hugh lay down ^Vz^T ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^a ^° me' coeked this time. I took
on his back, and explored the 7~ '^j^T^^/^^^^^^^P^' ^' mjr ^an<^ down in the
surrounding regions with his A VS °z. \/t/^^ PSFjSSIlwM^ heather—felt something oold and
field-glass. Even then I was not <-"-) 7 ■ / W ^ slimy, then something astonish-
allowed to smoke, and while I was 2/%i^ ' ~'<?-':"'y.. />Jf- * ■^Uf/l/ll^^^-b' ing-ly sharp and painful, and
baked to a blister with the sun, I ^ /^^N^^^Awfe====^^ jumped to my feet with a yell!
was wet through with black peat jJu*._______Zi^j, I ^^^^^^^!£~^£i-^ I had been bitten by an adder,
water. Never a deer could we ^S^SZr^^^S^ that was all! Now, was that my
see, or could Hugh see, rather, fault P Hugh picked up the
for I am short-sighted, and cannot " I had been bitten by an Adder." rifle, bowled over the stag, and
tell a stag from a bracken bush. then, with some consideration,
At last Hugh, who was crawling some yards ahead, in an unin-
teresting plain, broken by a few low round hillocks, beckoned to me
to come on. I writhed up to him, where he lay on the side of one
of those mounds, when he put the rifle in my hand, whispering
"Shoot!"
" Shoot what? " said I, for my head was not yet above the"crest
of the hillock. He only made a gesture, and getting my eye-glass
above the level, I saw quite a lot of deer, stags, and hinds, within
fifty yards of us. They were interested, apparently, in a party of
shepherds, walking on a road which crossed the moor at a distance,
and had no thoughts to spare for us. " Which am I to shoot ? " I
whispered.
" The big one, him between the two hinds to the left." I took
deadly aim, my heart beating audibly, like a rusty pump in a dry
season. My hands were shaking like aspen leaves, but 1 got the
sight on him, under his shoulder, and pulled the trigger. Nothing
happened, I pulled the trigger of the second barrel. Nothing
occurred. "Ye have the safety-bolts in," whispered Hugh, and
he accommodated that portion of the machinery, which I do not
understand. Was all this calculated to set a man at his ease ? I
took aim afresh, pulled the trigger again. Nothing! "Ye're on
half-cock," whispered Hugh, adding some remark in Gaelic, which,
of course, I did not understand. Was it my fault ? It was not my
own rifle, I repeat, and the hammers, at half-cock, looked as high
as those of my gun, full-cocked.
All this conversation had aroused the attention of the deer. Off
they scuttled at full speed, and I sent a couple of bullets vaguely
after them, in the direction of a small forest of horns which went
applied ammonia to my finger, and made me swallow all the whiskey
we had.
It was a long business, and Dr. Mactavish, who was brought
from a hamlet about thirty miles away, nearly gave me up. My
arm was about three feet in circumference, and I was very ill
indeed. I have not tried Deer-stalking again; and, as I said, I
wish the British Tourist joy of his Access to Mountains.
EARLY SPRING-.
Once more the North-east wind | My tile and chimney-pot
Chills all anew, vV , Flies through the air,
And tips the redden'd v VHj'Hu *® My eyes are full of
nose dust,
With colder blue ; ^S§g||liM MJ head is bare,
Makes blackbirds ^fe^^^^^J^. A state of things that
hoarse as crows, Ojf? i^Jp^^P^^^ must
And poet s too. ^^^^^^^^ - . Soon make me swear!
The town with nip- { ^ y§|if^. When thus in early
ping blasts ' -'c^ Spring
How wildly blown; p1 ^P)s \S My joys are few,
Around my hapless v-7^_ ^ I '11 warm myself at
nea(l . y home
Loose tiles are ^MNp^g^^-^^^ With " Mountain
thrown, Dew,"
Slates, chimney-pots, and lead Or fly to Nice, or Rome,
Of weight unknown.
Or Timbuctoo.
VOL. Oil.
X
tossing down a glade. I don't think I hit anything, and Hugh,
CONFESSIONS OF A DUFFER. without making any remark took the rifle and strode off in a new
T „„„ „ „„„„ direction. I was nearly dead with fatigue, I was wishing Mr. Bryce
No. IX. THE DUFFER DEER-STALKING. and ^ British Tourigt my ghare rf Accesg ^ Moimtains< when we
I am in favour of Mr. Bryce's Access to Mountains Bill, and reached the crown of a bank above a burn, which commanded a view
of Crofters who may be ambitious to cultivate the fertile slopes of of an opposite slope. Hugh wriggled up till his eyes were on a level
all the Bens in Scotland. In fact, I am in favour of anything thatj with the crest, and got his long glass out. After some interval of
will, or may, interfere with the tedious toil of Deer-stalking. Mr. ; time, he wakened me, to say that if I snored like that, I would not get
Bryce's Bill, I am afraid, will do no good. People want Access to I a shot. Then he showed me, or tried to show me, through the glass,
Mountains when they cannot get it; when once they can, they will; a stag and three hinds, far off to our right. I did not see them, I
stay where the beer is, and not go padding the wet and weary hoof j very seldom see anything that people point out to me, but I thought
through peat-bogs, over rocks, and along stupid and fatiguing accli- [ it wise to humour him, and professed my satisfaction. Was I to
vities, rugged with heather. Oh, preserve me from Deer-stalking ; shoot at them ? No, they were about half a mile off, but, if I waited,
it is a sport of which I cherish only the most sombre memories. j they would feed up to us, so we waited, Hugh nudging me at
They may laugh, and say it was my own fault, all my misfortune intervals to keep me awake. Meanwhile I was practising aiming at
on the stalk, but a feeling reader will admit that I have merely been ; a distant rock, about the place where I expected to get my shot, as
unlucky. My first adventure, or misadventure if you like, was at! Hugh instructed me, I thought the wretched rifle was at half-cock,
Cauldkail Castle, Lord Gaberlunzte's place, which had been rented and I aimed away, very conscientiously, for practice. Presently the
by a man who made a fortune in rifle went off with a bang, and I
patent corkscrews. The house a ^ saw the dust fly on the stone I
was pretty nearly empty, as ^ad ^een Pra°tising at. It had
everyone had gone south for the /l^^^w^ not been at half-cock, after all;
Leger, so it fell to my lot to go y|§l|f warned by my earlier misfor-
out under the orders of the head /41|lf ^ tunes, Hugh had handed the
stalker. He was a man of six f^^Bf ^ r^e ^° me coeke(l- The stag
foot three, he walked like that £§St A^g^v, ~~~ <^_, and the hinds were in wild
giant of iron, Talus his name . (EsfiL retreat at a considerable distance,
was, I think, who used to peram- ^§8lL siliiilll /^r^ ^ had some difficulty in explain--
bulate the shores of Crete, an ~5pj@r nSB^^^y - / ^fe? 1'n? to Hugh, how this accident
early mythical coast - guard. "~------ vX/^^T bad occurred, nor did he seem to
Hugh's step on the mountain 7771^^^^^^^^^^^=====^^^§' j| "7 share my satisfaction in having
was like that of the red deer, and -i^^^^^^^^^^7t/<t^^^^^-~/!0^ - kit the stone, at all events,
he had an eye like the eagle's of ^e l,e8'a11 a difficult march
his native wastes. ^^s^?25^^?>>v!^^^^^^^^^8^^^^^^^~ ____ homewards, we were about thir-
It was not pleasant, marching —""^v^^^^^^^^^^^^T / // teen miles now from Cauldkail
beside Hugh, and I was often ■ / .Bf^S^B^S^—^ //' Castle. Hugh still, from habit,
anxious to sit down and admire f ^^S\y^ would sit down and take a view
the scenery, if he would have let / /^^^^^^f^^^^m ^^^^^^—zE^^^^^^^^^r through that glass of his. At
me. I had no rifle of my own, / y^H^^^y^^^^^W ^^=^^^^^^^^^^^?~ ^as^ he snirfc it uPi like Wel-
but one was lent me, with all the / ^^^^^^^^^^^^K Vr.M lijtgton' at Waterloo, and said,
latest improvements, confound / "^^^^^^^^^^^s, x^^^I/r^—^ " Maybe ye'11 be having a chance
them! Well, we staggered I ^yy^?flfff^^ v Sr''f^m)' r:r^=^1-r~- yet, Sir." He then began crawl-
through marshes, under a blind- / ~^0\ ^^^^"^^^F ~~^^=^' UP a sl°Pe °f heather, I
ing sun, and clambered up cliffs, \ ^^^^^^^^m^^^i Jf?following, like the Prophet's
and sneaked in the beds of burns, \j^Sa. s '.Jf^ r\ donkey. He reached the top,
and crawled through bogs on our ___whence he signalled that there
stomachs. My only intervals of p==^=g^r _-^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^) n>\ was a shot, and passed the rifle
repose were when Hugh lay down ^Vz^T ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^a ^° me' coeked this time. I took
on his back, and explored the 7~ '^j^T^^/^^^^^^^P^' ^' mjr ^an<^ down in the
surrounding regions with his A VS °z. \/t/^^ PSFjSSIlwM^ heather—felt something oold and
field-glass. Even then I was not <-"-) 7 ■ / W ^ slimy, then something astonish-
allowed to smoke, and while I was 2/%i^ ' ~'<?-':"'y.. />Jf- * ■^Uf/l/ll^^^-b' ing-ly sharp and painful, and
baked to a blister with the sun, I ^ /^^N^^^Awfe====^^ jumped to my feet with a yell!
was wet through with black peat jJu*._______Zi^j, I ^^^^^^^!£~^£i-^ I had been bitten by an adder,
water. Never a deer could we ^S^SZr^^^S^ that was all! Now, was that my
see, or could Hugh see, rather, fault P Hugh picked up the
for I am short-sighted, and cannot " I had been bitten by an Adder." rifle, bowled over the stag, and
tell a stag from a bracken bush. then, with some consideration,
At last Hugh, who was crawling some yards ahead, in an unin-
teresting plain, broken by a few low round hillocks, beckoned to me
to come on. I writhed up to him, where he lay on the side of one
of those mounds, when he put the rifle in my hand, whispering
"Shoot!"
" Shoot what? " said I, for my head was not yet above the"crest
of the hillock. He only made a gesture, and getting my eye-glass
above the level, I saw quite a lot of deer, stags, and hinds, within
fifty yards of us. They were interested, apparently, in a party of
shepherds, walking on a road which crossed the moor at a distance,
and had no thoughts to spare for us. " Which am I to shoot ? " I
whispered.
" The big one, him between the two hinds to the left." I took
deadly aim, my heart beating audibly, like a rusty pump in a dry
season. My hands were shaking like aspen leaves, but 1 got the
sight on him, under his shoulder, and pulled the trigger. Nothing
happened, I pulled the trigger of the second barrel. Nothing
occurred. "Ye have the safety-bolts in," whispered Hugh, and
he accommodated that portion of the machinery, which I do not
understand. Was all this calculated to set a man at his ease ? I
took aim afresh, pulled the trigger again. Nothing! "Ye're on
half-cock," whispered Hugh, adding some remark in Gaelic, which,
of course, I did not understand. Was it my fault ? It was not my
own rifle, I repeat, and the hammers, at half-cock, looked as high
as those of my gun, full-cocked.
All this conversation had aroused the attention of the deer. Off
they scuttled at full speed, and I sent a couple of bullets vaguely
after them, in the direction of a small forest of horns which went
applied ammonia to my finger, and made me swallow all the whiskey
we had.
It was a long business, and Dr. Mactavish, who was brought
from a hamlet about thirty miles away, nearly gave me up. My
arm was about three feet in circumference, and I was very ill
indeed. I have not tried Deer-stalking again; and, as I said, I
wish the British Tourist joy of his Access to Mountains.
EARLY SPRING-.
Once more the North-east wind | My tile and chimney-pot
Chills all anew, vV , Flies through the air,
And tips the redden'd v VHj'Hu *® My eyes are full of
nose dust,
With colder blue ; ^S§g||liM MJ head is bare,
Makes blackbirds ^fe^^^^^J^. A state of things that
hoarse as crows, Ojf? i^Jp^^P^^^ must
And poet s too. ^^^^^^^^ - . Soon make me swear!
The town with nip- { ^ y§|if^. When thus in early
ping blasts ' -'c^ Spring
How wildly blown; p1 ^P)s \S My joys are few,
Around my hapless v-7^_ ^ I '11 warm myself at
nea(l . y home
Loose tiles are ^MNp^g^^-^^^ With " Mountain
thrown, Dew,"
Slates, chimney-pots, and lead Or fly to Nice, or Rome,
Of weight unknown.
Or Timbuctoo.
VOL. Oil.
X