DOI Heft:
February 20, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0094
February 20, 1892.] PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 85
JISVPS JOTTINGS | Ut °kind—WeU' SOmeOIie builds 'em for us> sucn> in course,
No. II.—EATS'-RENTS, THE RENTERS AND THE RENTED. j But it ain't a bad investment, as them Landlords seems to find.
[In which. Ginger Jimmy gives his views of Lazarus, Dives, Dirt, Mother The Marquiges and Mother Church pick lots of little plums,
Church, Slum-Freeholders and " Freedom of Contract."]
And the wust on 'em don't seem to be their proputty in slums.
Oh, I'd like to take a Bishop on the trot around our court,
" The Golgotha of Slumland! " That's a phrase as I am told
Is made use of by a party,—wich that party must be bold,— And tnen arsk °w the Church spends the coin collected from our sort
In the name of Mister Lazarus, a good Saint Pan- _^ Wot's the use of pictering 'orrors ? Let 'im put 'is
crage gent, /iKfev '°lynose
Wot has writ a book on Slumland, and its Land- mSM To the Pain of close hinspection; let his wenerable
lords, and its Rent.* SlrWi§£ toes
He's a Member of the " Westry 'Ealth Committee," \ , / s Kck a pathway through our gutter, let his gaiters
And the story'wot he tells will sound, to some, ^dl^Jik And when'e kneels that evening, I should like to
like 'orrid dreams. ^WJMbk. ear 1S prayers!
But, lor bless yer! we knows better, and if sech / it'lBHk, «&L 1 'm afraid that in Hats' Bents he mightn't find a
'cute coves as 'im / 11/ Wl|irJL place to kneel
Want to ferret bout the facks, they might apply L M^mmMM^JjT Without soiling of his small clothes. Yus, to live
to Ginger J i3i. ^ftSK'JBf^in dirt, I feel
There's the mischief in these matters; them as ^C^^fcyflWi^^P Is a'orrid degradation; but one thing I'd like to
knows won't always tell. ^^^a^^^mM irilr T • know,
Wy, if^you want to spot a " screw," or track up a ^Mt^^l^. -' ls itwus than living on it ? Let 'im answer ; it's
You've got to be a foxer, for whilst slums makes C_ jHHBp "All a blowing" ain't much paternised, not down
topping rent, JF^WKSm W our Court, it ain't.
There will always be lots 'angmg round to put yer \ fWm{ if Wich we aren't as sweet as iersons, not yet as fresh
off the scent! Fwftfl as paint!
I can tell yer arf the right 'uns even ain't quite .If if!!? For ^ .^'^ Set spicy breezes in a den all dirt
in the know, . luff ffi'i and dusk,
And there's lots o' little fakes to make 'em boggle, ' „ j III \\\ |j w From a apenny bunch o' wallflower, or a penny
or go slow. />m - llllf \ plarnt o'musk.
Werry plorserble their statements, and they puts #ffP ''Mi^ |fffif ' Wot do you think? Bless yer 'earts, gents, I wos
'em nice and plain, #§lf§ ' TiMP'l \\\W-"§§§11 down some months ago
And a crockidile can drop'em when'e once turns <'^'-y^h^[0l\w^^^A With a bout o' the rheumatics, and 'ad got so
on the main. -gpp*^-^gk^^^^^^^^ precious low
All the tenants' faults; they likes it, dirt, and ^7^7 1 W(\s sent, ^ some £ood ladies> wot acrost me
scrowging, and damp walls ! ^^zMj/. ; - /, /,////: / T11 chanced to come— _
They git used to'orrid odours! 0 the Landlord's W^^MF' Bles? their kindness !—to a 'evvm called a Conva-
tear-drop falls >/"/////« ' c33Uescent 'Ome.
Werry often, when collecting of his rents, to see the 'oles
Where the parties as must pay 'em up prefers to stick, pore souls !
No compulsion, not a mossel! Ah, my noble lords and gents
Who are up in arms for Libbaty—that is, of paying rents—
You've rum notions of Compulsion. Nocky Spriggins sez, sez 'e,
While you've got a chice of starving, or the workus, ain't yer
free !
Free? 0 yus, we're free all round like; there ain't ne'er a
bloomin' slave,
White or black, but wot is free enough—to pop into 'is grave ;
Though if they ketch yer trying even that game, and yer fail,
Yer next skool for teaching freedom ain't the workus, but the jail!
'Andcuffs ain't the sole " Compulsion," nor yet laws ^ ain't, nor yet
whips;
There is sech things as 'unger, and yer starving kids' white lips,
And bizness ties, a hempty purse, bad 'ealth, and ne'er a crust;
Swells may swear these ain't Compulsion, but we know as they
means must.
Ah! wot precious rum things words is, 'ow they seems to fog the
wise !
If they'd only come and look at things, that is with their hownheyes,
And not filantropic barnacles or goldian giglamps—lor!
Wot a lob of grabs and gushers might shut up their blessed jor !
The nobs who 're down on workmen, 'cos on " knobsticks" they will
frown,
Has a 'arty love for Libbaty—when keepin' wages down.
Contrack's a sacred 'oly thing, freedom earnt 'ave that broke, [joke.
But Free Contrack wotforced on yer—wy, o'course, that sounds a
If they knowed us and our sort, gents, they would know Tree Con-
track 's fudge,
When one side ain't got a copper, 'as been six weeks on the trudge,
Or 'as built his little bizness up in one pertikler spot,
And if the rent's raised on 'im must turn hout, and starve or rot!
Coarse words, my lords and ladies ! Well, yer may as weU be dumb,
As taBs pooty on the questions wot concerns hus in the Slum.
There ain't nothink pooty in 'em, and I cannot 'clp but think
Some of our friends 'as spiled our case by piling on the pink.
Foxes 'ave 'oles, the Book sez ; well, no doubt they feels content,
For they finds, or makes, their 'ouses, and don't 'ave to pay no rent;
* Landlordism, by Henry Lazarus.
Phew ! Wen I come back to Bats' Rents, 'ow I sickened of its smells,
Arter all them trees and 'ayfields, and them laylocks and blue-bells,
And sometimes I think—pertikler when I'm nabbed by them old
pains—
Wot a proper world it might be if it weren't for dirt and drains.
Who's to blame for Dirt ? Yer washups, praps it ain't for me to say,
But—I don't think there'd be much of it if 'twasn't made to pay !
Who does it pay ? The Benters or the Rented ? I've no doubt
When you spot who cops the Slum-swag—wy, yer won't be so fur out!
WRIGHT AND WRONG.
" We are getting on by leaps and bounds," remarked Mr. Wildey
Wright, during a recent case. Whereat there was "laughter."
But Mr. Horace Browne, for Plaintiff, "objected to remarks of
this kind." Then Mr. Justice Collins begged Mr. W. Wright
" not to make such picturesque interjections." Later on, Mr. Horace
Browne said to a Witness (whose name, " Burbage," oughtto have
elicited from Judge or Counsel some apposite Shakspearian allusion
—but it didn't), " Then you had him on toast." This also was
received with " laughter." But Mr. Wildey Wright did not object
to this. No ! he let it pass without interruption, implying by his
eloquent silence that such a remark was neither a "picturesque
interjection," nor sufficiently humorous for him to take objection to
it. The other day, iu a County Court, a Barrister refused to go on
with a case until the Judge had done smiling! But---"This
is another story."
Good Grace-ious!
Two out of three, my Grace ! That sounds a drubber.
No chance for England now to " win the rubber."
We deemed you romping in, that second Cable;
But your team didn't. Fact is, 'twasn't Abel
(Though Abel in himself was quite a team).
Well, well, your Sheffield blades met quite the cream
Of Cornstalk Cricketers. Cheer up, cut in!
And when March comes, make that Third Match a Win!
We 're sure that while you hold the Captain's place,
Your men will win or lose with a good Grace !
Suggested Title for an Account of a Gorgeous Ballet of
Ugly Girls.—The Story of the Glittering Plain.
vol. en.
i
JISVPS JOTTINGS | Ut °kind—WeU' SOmeOIie builds 'em for us> sucn> in course,
No. II.—EATS'-RENTS, THE RENTERS AND THE RENTED. j But it ain't a bad investment, as them Landlords seems to find.
[In which. Ginger Jimmy gives his views of Lazarus, Dives, Dirt, Mother The Marquiges and Mother Church pick lots of little plums,
Church, Slum-Freeholders and " Freedom of Contract."]
And the wust on 'em don't seem to be their proputty in slums.
Oh, I'd like to take a Bishop on the trot around our court,
" The Golgotha of Slumland! " That's a phrase as I am told
Is made use of by a party,—wich that party must be bold,— And tnen arsk °w the Church spends the coin collected from our sort
In the name of Mister Lazarus, a good Saint Pan- _^ Wot's the use of pictering 'orrors ? Let 'im put 'is
crage gent, /iKfev '°lynose
Wot has writ a book on Slumland, and its Land- mSM To the Pain of close hinspection; let his wenerable
lords, and its Rent.* SlrWi§£ toes
He's a Member of the " Westry 'Ealth Committee," \ , / s Kck a pathway through our gutter, let his gaiters
And the story'wot he tells will sound, to some, ^dl^Jik And when'e kneels that evening, I should like to
like 'orrid dreams. ^WJMbk. ear 1S prayers!
But, lor bless yer! we knows better, and if sech / it'lBHk, «&L 1 'm afraid that in Hats' Bents he mightn't find a
'cute coves as 'im / 11/ Wl|irJL place to kneel
Want to ferret bout the facks, they might apply L M^mmMM^JjT Without soiling of his small clothes. Yus, to live
to Ginger J i3i. ^ftSK'JBf^in dirt, I feel
There's the mischief in these matters; them as ^C^^fcyflWi^^P Is a'orrid degradation; but one thing I'd like to
knows won't always tell. ^^^a^^^mM irilr T • know,
Wy, if^you want to spot a " screw," or track up a ^Mt^^l^. -' ls itwus than living on it ? Let 'im answer ; it's
You've got to be a foxer, for whilst slums makes C_ jHHBp "All a blowing" ain't much paternised, not down
topping rent, JF^WKSm W our Court, it ain't.
There will always be lots 'angmg round to put yer \ fWm{ if Wich we aren't as sweet as iersons, not yet as fresh
off the scent! Fwftfl as paint!
I can tell yer arf the right 'uns even ain't quite .If if!!? For ^ .^'^ Set spicy breezes in a den all dirt
in the know, . luff ffi'i and dusk,
And there's lots o' little fakes to make 'em boggle, ' „ j III \\\ |j w From a apenny bunch o' wallflower, or a penny
or go slow. />m - llllf \ plarnt o'musk.
Werry plorserble their statements, and they puts #ffP ''Mi^ |fffif ' Wot do you think? Bless yer 'earts, gents, I wos
'em nice and plain, #§lf§ ' TiMP'l \\\W-"§§§11 down some months ago
And a crockidile can drop'em when'e once turns <'^'-y^h^[0l\w^^^A With a bout o' the rheumatics, and 'ad got so
on the main. -gpp*^-^gk^^^^^^^^ precious low
All the tenants' faults; they likes it, dirt, and ^7^7 1 W(\s sent, ^ some £ood ladies> wot acrost me
scrowging, and damp walls ! ^^zMj/. ; - /, /,////: / T11 chanced to come— _
They git used to'orrid odours! 0 the Landlord's W^^MF' Bles? their kindness !—to a 'evvm called a Conva-
tear-drop falls >/"/////« ' c33Uescent 'Ome.
Werry often, when collecting of his rents, to see the 'oles
Where the parties as must pay 'em up prefers to stick, pore souls !
No compulsion, not a mossel! Ah, my noble lords and gents
Who are up in arms for Libbaty—that is, of paying rents—
You've rum notions of Compulsion. Nocky Spriggins sez, sez 'e,
While you've got a chice of starving, or the workus, ain't yer
free !
Free? 0 yus, we're free all round like; there ain't ne'er a
bloomin' slave,
White or black, but wot is free enough—to pop into 'is grave ;
Though if they ketch yer trying even that game, and yer fail,
Yer next skool for teaching freedom ain't the workus, but the jail!
'Andcuffs ain't the sole " Compulsion," nor yet laws ^ ain't, nor yet
whips;
There is sech things as 'unger, and yer starving kids' white lips,
And bizness ties, a hempty purse, bad 'ealth, and ne'er a crust;
Swells may swear these ain't Compulsion, but we know as they
means must.
Ah! wot precious rum things words is, 'ow they seems to fog the
wise !
If they'd only come and look at things, that is with their hownheyes,
And not filantropic barnacles or goldian giglamps—lor!
Wot a lob of grabs and gushers might shut up their blessed jor !
The nobs who 're down on workmen, 'cos on " knobsticks" they will
frown,
Has a 'arty love for Libbaty—when keepin' wages down.
Contrack's a sacred 'oly thing, freedom earnt 'ave that broke, [joke.
But Free Contrack wotforced on yer—wy, o'course, that sounds a
If they knowed us and our sort, gents, they would know Tree Con-
track 's fudge,
When one side ain't got a copper, 'as been six weeks on the trudge,
Or 'as built his little bizness up in one pertikler spot,
And if the rent's raised on 'im must turn hout, and starve or rot!
Coarse words, my lords and ladies ! Well, yer may as weU be dumb,
As taBs pooty on the questions wot concerns hus in the Slum.
There ain't nothink pooty in 'em, and I cannot 'clp but think
Some of our friends 'as spiled our case by piling on the pink.
Foxes 'ave 'oles, the Book sez ; well, no doubt they feels content,
For they finds, or makes, their 'ouses, and don't 'ave to pay no rent;
* Landlordism, by Henry Lazarus.
Phew ! Wen I come back to Bats' Rents, 'ow I sickened of its smells,
Arter all them trees and 'ayfields, and them laylocks and blue-bells,
And sometimes I think—pertikler when I'm nabbed by them old
pains—
Wot a proper world it might be if it weren't for dirt and drains.
Who's to blame for Dirt ? Yer washups, praps it ain't for me to say,
But—I don't think there'd be much of it if 'twasn't made to pay !
Who does it pay ? The Benters or the Rented ? I've no doubt
When you spot who cops the Slum-swag—wy, yer won't be so fur out!
WRIGHT AND WRONG.
" We are getting on by leaps and bounds," remarked Mr. Wildey
Wright, during a recent case. Whereat there was "laughter."
But Mr. Horace Browne, for Plaintiff, "objected to remarks of
this kind." Then Mr. Justice Collins begged Mr. W. Wright
" not to make such picturesque interjections." Later on, Mr. Horace
Browne said to a Witness (whose name, " Burbage," oughtto have
elicited from Judge or Counsel some apposite Shakspearian allusion
—but it didn't), " Then you had him on toast." This also was
received with " laughter." But Mr. Wildey Wright did not object
to this. No ! he let it pass without interruption, implying by his
eloquent silence that such a remark was neither a "picturesque
interjection," nor sufficiently humorous for him to take objection to
it. The other day, iu a County Court, a Barrister refused to go on
with a case until the Judge had done smiling! But---"This
is another story."
Good Grace-ious!
Two out of three, my Grace ! That sounds a drubber.
No chance for England now to " win the rubber."
We deemed you romping in, that second Cable;
But your team didn't. Fact is, 'twasn't Abel
(Though Abel in himself was quite a team).
Well, well, your Sheffield blades met quite the cream
Of Cornstalk Cricketers. Cheer up, cut in!
And when March comes, make that Third Match a Win!
We 're sure that while you hold the Captain's place,
Your men will win or lose with a good Grace !
Suggested Title for an Account of a Gorgeous Ballet of
Ugly Girls.—The Story of the Glittering Plain.
vol. en.
i