DOI issue:
March 12, 1892
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0130
March 12, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 121
DOING THE OLD MASTERS.
(A Sketch at Burlington House.)
In Gallery No. I.
The Usual Elderly Lady {who judges every picture solely by its
school ? Well they ought to have, that's all ? Where 's your Aunt
—where 's your Aunt ?
Mr. Ernest Stodgely {before the Portrait of the Marchesa Isabella
Grimaldi). There, Flossie, don't you feel the greatness of that now?
I'm curious to know how it impresses you!
Miss Featherhead. Well, I rather like her frock, Ernest. How
subject). "No. 9. Portrait of Mrs. Bryanston of Portman. By , funny to think aigrettes were worn so long ago, when they 'vc just
Gainsborough." I don't like that at all. Such a disagreeable ' gone out again, don't you know. It must have been difficult to kiss a
expression! I can't think why they exhibit such things,
there's no pleasure in looking at them !
Her Companion {ivho finds no pleasure in looking at any of them).
No, I must say I prefer the Academy to these old-fashioned things.
I suppose we can get a cup of tea here, though? j many a time in the Octagon Boudoir at dear old Hatchment's. But
person across one of those enormous ruffs, though, don't you think ?
In Gallery No. IV.
Mr. Schohorff {loudly). Ah, that's a picture I know well; seen it
An Intelligent Person. "Mrs. Bryanston of Portman." Sounds ; it looks better lighted up. I remember the last time I was down
like a made-up name rather, eh ? Portman Square, and all that, 1 there they told me they 'a been asked to lend it, but the Countess
didn't seem to think {fyc, fyc).
3Irs. Frivell {before " Death of Dido," by Liberale da Verona).
y'know!
His Friend {with a touching confidence in the seriousness of the
authorities). Oh, they wouldn't do that sort Why is she standing on that pile of furni
of thing here! tiffiM^M /f—A ture ^n the courtyard, though ?
A Too-impulsive Enthusiast. Oh, Joiin, w^m\ F. Because vEneas had jilted her,
look at that lovely tiger up there! Isn't iiiPP^?^ s^^^h and so she stabbed herself on a funeral pyre
the skin marvellously painted, and the eyes wiM *^fv after setting fire to it, you see.
so natural and all! It's a Landseer of a\ 4'^ m^^m Mrs. F. {disapprovingly). How very odd.
course! -^miiM '^^^^A I thought they only did that in India. But
John. Catalogue says Sttjbbs. ■///^M^^^^^^ who are all those people looking-on ?
The Enth. {disenchanted). Stubbs? I \y^^ tf^h ^' Smart Pe°ple of the period, my
never heard of him. But it's really rather . A; fjftifcs^y' ' ~j/ dear. Of course Dido would send out in-
well done. . \ §^^^^'-^^^^^11 f ■■■'**' / vitations for a big function like that—
The Man who is a bit of a Connoisseur \ x ^lBPjEBBPPBr-™' * Wind-up of the season—Farewell Reception
in his way {arriving at a portrait of Mrs. . \^j^j^^^^K^fj^W^^m \ \ '—sure to be a tremendous rush for cards.
Billington). Not a bad Romney, that. \ ySKK^^^S^^K^: '\ \\WwimL \ ^ Notice the evident enjoyment of the guests.
His Friend {with Catalogue). What • N ^ Wfl^^^^sMMfl^^fi' if Ilk \ 1 1 They are depicted in the act of remarking
makes you think it's a Romney ? ,' \ ' ^P^^Biff ' li Wm?K \\ to one another that their hostess is doing:
The Conn. My dear fellow, as if it was \ ,x "^^^^^^SkK- m • iff 11 \j a^ 'n ^er Power to make the thing go off
possible to mistake his touch. {Thinksfrom \ A \^^^W*'e^Wmfi '■/■ Wm\ v well. Keen observer of human nature, old
his friend's expression, that he had better \ j yff f ' f/ffif f Liberale !
hedge.) Unless it's a Reynolds. Of course \\\\jgi|p%A h/J/WiH ^'ffflll i Mrs. F. Selfish creatures!
it might be a Sir Joshua, their manner at \ ' ttof/M lL - !.imm \ T ,r
one period was very much alike-yes, it rN^,-«F - ^MMWll M 41 \ifM \\\\ In the Vestibule.
might be a Reynolds, certainly. \ \ flPK^ ill ^'Wmm/\ ' 3Irs. Townley-Patton {about to leave with
His Friend. It might be a Holbein—if \ A AvR'^ ^^H||fJ|i^|, fflHjR/\\\ her husband, encounters her cousins, the
it didn't happen to be a Gainsborough. y Vy\\ ] f|A B^W^m^ J1 J|Bff\\^ ^ MissRuRAL-ltATTONS, who have just arrived).
The Conn, [effecting a masterly retreat). ' Vs feif \\\ jHnHUKIW|l\\\ \v v Why, Sophy, Mary ! how are you ? this is
Didn't I say Gainsborough? Of course —• fer fflMHKNlj^r- ' too delightful! When did you come up?
that was what I meant. Nothing like Rey- pj?_ ^ WBmwtnm How long are you going to be in town ?
nobis—nor Romney cither. Totally differ- ^ A^-- JpS^Jif WS^l lm if When can you come and see me ?
ent thing! ' "- - A;^ ll^'^m^ mm/m BH Miss Sophy Patton {answering the two
t n at tt —. ^A: $0'$''Ma^^ Wmbfi Hi 1 "tst questions). Till the end of the week.
In Gallery ^o. II. —^3=^ fef R^BR Wm What will be the best time to find you ?
Mr. Ernest Stodgely {before Jan Steen's ^^A;^1 W~^^^^^m^^^m^ ^rs- T. P. {warmly). Oh, any time !
" Christening'"). Now look at this, Flossie; • ^a^^JB?/ f j^^-r., I'm almost always in—except the after-
very curious, very interesting. Gives you —.-A^^^^JK^ noons, of course. I'm going out to tea or
such an insight into the times. This man, -"^^^^Aa"A'*&sjS£-f^^i^^^Mi'^^^^^A^^ something every day this week!
you see, is wearing a hat of the period. (^^^^^^^S;^^5^^^A: . Miss Sophy P. WeU, how would some
Remarkable, isn't it ? ^me ^n ^e m01"11^11?-
3Iiss Featherhead. Not so remarkable as ^T^^^^^^^^^A^ ^^~c/i' Mrs. T. P. The morning ? No, I'm
if he was wearing a hat of some other ^^g^Ac afraid—I'm afraid it mustnt be the morn-
period, Ernest, is it ? "^-A^A^ -^^~~~-^Aa ing this week—so many things that one has
'The Elderly Lady {before a View oj - to see to!
Amsterdam, by Van der Heyden). Now, you " My dear fellow, as if it was possible to mistake his Mr. T. P. {lazily). You'd better all
really must look at this, my dear—isn't it touch ! " come and dine quietly some evening.
[He yawns, to tone down any excess of hospitality in this invitation.
3Irs. T. P. {quickly). No, that would be too cruel, when I know
they '11 want to go to a theatre every night! And besides, I really
haven't a single free evening this week. But I must see if we can't
arrange something. You really must drop me a line next time you 're
coming up! Good-bye, deal's, we mustn't keep you from the pictures
—such a fine collection this winter! Love to your Mother, and say
I shall try to call—if I jjossibly can !
Mr. T. P. {as they descend the stairs). I say, Selena, you forgot
to ask 'em where they are, Shall I run back and find out, eh ?
Ms. T. P. Not on any account. They 're probably at the Grand
as usual, and if they 're not, it will be a very good excuse if I can't
call. You are such afusser, Alfred!
Miss Sophy [to Miss Mary). What a let-off! I wouldn't have
minded lunch so much—but dinner—no, thank you, my dear!
3Iiss Mary {gloomily). She may call on Mother and ask us all yet.
Miss Sophy. She doesn't know where we are, and I took good care
not to tell her. It's getting too dark to see much, but we '11 just
walk through the rooms, to say we 've done it—shall we ? [They do.
wonclerful ? Why, you can count every single brick in the walls,
and the tiny little figures with their features all complete; you
want a magnifying-glass to see it all! How conscientious painters
were in those days! And what a difference from those "Impres-
sionists," as they call themselves.
Her Comp. {apathetically). Yes, indeed; I wonder whether it
would be better to get our tea here, or wait till we get outside ?
The Eld. L. Oh, it's too early yet. Look at that poor hunted
stag jumping over a dining-room table, and upsetting the glasses
and things. I suppose that's Landseer—no, I see it's some one of
the name of Snyders. I expect he got the idea from Landseer,
though, don't vou ?
Her Comp. Very likely indeed, dear ; but {pursuing her original
train of thought) you get rather nice tea at some of these aerated
bread-shops ; so perhaps if we waited—(^c, fyc.)
In Gallery No." III.
Two Pretty Nieces with an Elderly Uncle {coming to "Apollo and
Marsyas," by Tintoretto). What was the story of Apollo and
Marsyas, Uncle?
The Uncle. Apollo? Oh, come, you've heard of him, the—er-
bun-God, Phoebus-Apollo, and all that ?
His Nieces. Oh, yes, we know all that; but who was Marsyas, and
what does the Catalogue mean by " Athena and t'hree'Umpires?"
The Uncle. Oh—er—hum! Didn't they teach you all that at
A Settler eor Mr. Woods.—Mrs. Ram does not at all wonder at
Amateurs being able to " pick up old pieces of china at Christy's,"
for she has often heard that you've only got to go to King Street,
where anyone may see them "knocked down under a hammer."
vol ch.
m
DOING THE OLD MASTERS.
(A Sketch at Burlington House.)
In Gallery No. I.
The Usual Elderly Lady {who judges every picture solely by its
school ? Well they ought to have, that's all ? Where 's your Aunt
—where 's your Aunt ?
Mr. Ernest Stodgely {before the Portrait of the Marchesa Isabella
Grimaldi). There, Flossie, don't you feel the greatness of that now?
I'm curious to know how it impresses you!
Miss Featherhead. Well, I rather like her frock, Ernest. How
subject). "No. 9. Portrait of Mrs. Bryanston of Portman. By , funny to think aigrettes were worn so long ago, when they 'vc just
Gainsborough." I don't like that at all. Such a disagreeable ' gone out again, don't you know. It must have been difficult to kiss a
expression! I can't think why they exhibit such things,
there's no pleasure in looking at them !
Her Companion {ivho finds no pleasure in looking at any of them).
No, I must say I prefer the Academy to these old-fashioned things.
I suppose we can get a cup of tea here, though? j many a time in the Octagon Boudoir at dear old Hatchment's. But
person across one of those enormous ruffs, though, don't you think ?
In Gallery No. IV.
Mr. Schohorff {loudly). Ah, that's a picture I know well; seen it
An Intelligent Person. "Mrs. Bryanston of Portman." Sounds ; it looks better lighted up. I remember the last time I was down
like a made-up name rather, eh ? Portman Square, and all that, 1 there they told me they 'a been asked to lend it, but the Countess
didn't seem to think {fyc, fyc).
3Irs. Frivell {before " Death of Dido," by Liberale da Verona).
y'know!
His Friend {with a touching confidence in the seriousness of the
authorities). Oh, they wouldn't do that sort Why is she standing on that pile of furni
of thing here! tiffiM^M /f—A ture ^n the courtyard, though ?
A Too-impulsive Enthusiast. Oh, Joiin, w^m\ F. Because vEneas had jilted her,
look at that lovely tiger up there! Isn't iiiPP^?^ s^^^h and so she stabbed herself on a funeral pyre
the skin marvellously painted, and the eyes wiM *^fv after setting fire to it, you see.
so natural and all! It's a Landseer of a\ 4'^ m^^m Mrs. F. {disapprovingly). How very odd.
course! -^miiM '^^^^A I thought they only did that in India. But
John. Catalogue says Sttjbbs. ■///^M^^^^^^ who are all those people looking-on ?
The Enth. {disenchanted). Stubbs? I \y^^ tf^h ^' Smart Pe°ple of the period, my
never heard of him. But it's really rather . A; fjftifcs^y' ' ~j/ dear. Of course Dido would send out in-
well done. . \ §^^^^'-^^^^^11 f ■■■'**' / vitations for a big function like that—
The Man who is a bit of a Connoisseur \ x ^lBPjEBBPPBr-™' * Wind-up of the season—Farewell Reception
in his way {arriving at a portrait of Mrs. . \^j^j^^^^K^fj^W^^m \ \ '—sure to be a tremendous rush for cards.
Billington). Not a bad Romney, that. \ ySKK^^^S^^K^: '\ \\WwimL \ ^ Notice the evident enjoyment of the guests.
His Friend {with Catalogue). What • N ^ Wfl^^^^sMMfl^^fi' if Ilk \ 1 1 They are depicted in the act of remarking
makes you think it's a Romney ? ,' \ ' ^P^^Biff ' li Wm?K \\ to one another that their hostess is doing:
The Conn. My dear fellow, as if it was \ ,x "^^^^^^SkK- m • iff 11 \j a^ 'n ^er Power to make the thing go off
possible to mistake his touch. {Thinksfrom \ A \^^^W*'e^Wmfi '■/■ Wm\ v well. Keen observer of human nature, old
his friend's expression, that he had better \ j yff f ' f/ffif f Liberale !
hedge.) Unless it's a Reynolds. Of course \\\\jgi|p%A h/J/WiH ^'ffflll i Mrs. F. Selfish creatures!
it might be a Sir Joshua, their manner at \ ' ttof/M lL - !.imm \ T ,r
one period was very much alike-yes, it rN^,-«F - ^MMWll M 41 \ifM \\\\ In the Vestibule.
might be a Reynolds, certainly. \ \ flPK^ ill ^'Wmm/\ ' 3Irs. Townley-Patton {about to leave with
His Friend. It might be a Holbein—if \ A AvR'^ ^^H||fJ|i^|, fflHjR/\\\ her husband, encounters her cousins, the
it didn't happen to be a Gainsborough. y Vy\\ ] f|A B^W^m^ J1 J|Bff\\^ ^ MissRuRAL-ltATTONS, who have just arrived).
The Conn, [effecting a masterly retreat). ' Vs feif \\\ jHnHUKIW|l\\\ \v v Why, Sophy, Mary ! how are you ? this is
Didn't I say Gainsborough? Of course —• fer fflMHKNlj^r- ' too delightful! When did you come up?
that was what I meant. Nothing like Rey- pj?_ ^ WBmwtnm How long are you going to be in town ?
nobis—nor Romney cither. Totally differ- ^ A^-- JpS^Jif WS^l lm if When can you come and see me ?
ent thing! ' "- - A;^ ll^'^m^ mm/m BH Miss Sophy Patton {answering the two
t n at tt —. ^A: $0'$''Ma^^ Wmbfi Hi 1 "tst questions). Till the end of the week.
In Gallery ^o. II. —^3=^ fef R^BR Wm What will be the best time to find you ?
Mr. Ernest Stodgely {before Jan Steen's ^^A;^1 W~^^^^^m^^^m^ ^rs- T. P. {warmly). Oh, any time !
" Christening'"). Now look at this, Flossie; • ^a^^JB?/ f j^^-r., I'm almost always in—except the after-
very curious, very interesting. Gives you —.-A^^^^JK^ noons, of course. I'm going out to tea or
such an insight into the times. This man, -"^^^^Aa"A'*&sjS£-f^^i^^^Mi'^^^^^A^^ something every day this week!
you see, is wearing a hat of the period. (^^^^^^^S;^^5^^^A: . Miss Sophy P. WeU, how would some
Remarkable, isn't it ? ^me ^n ^e m01"11^11?-
3Iiss Featherhead. Not so remarkable as ^T^^^^^^^^^A^ ^^~c/i' Mrs. T. P. The morning ? No, I'm
if he was wearing a hat of some other ^^g^Ac afraid—I'm afraid it mustnt be the morn-
period, Ernest, is it ? "^-A^A^ -^^~~~-^Aa ing this week—so many things that one has
'The Elderly Lady {before a View oj - to see to!
Amsterdam, by Van der Heyden). Now, you " My dear fellow, as if it was possible to mistake his Mr. T. P. {lazily). You'd better all
really must look at this, my dear—isn't it touch ! " come and dine quietly some evening.
[He yawns, to tone down any excess of hospitality in this invitation.
3Irs. T. P. {quickly). No, that would be too cruel, when I know
they '11 want to go to a theatre every night! And besides, I really
haven't a single free evening this week. But I must see if we can't
arrange something. You really must drop me a line next time you 're
coming up! Good-bye, deal's, we mustn't keep you from the pictures
—such a fine collection this winter! Love to your Mother, and say
I shall try to call—if I jjossibly can !
Mr. T. P. {as they descend the stairs). I say, Selena, you forgot
to ask 'em where they are, Shall I run back and find out, eh ?
Ms. T. P. Not on any account. They 're probably at the Grand
as usual, and if they 're not, it will be a very good excuse if I can't
call. You are such afusser, Alfred!
Miss Sophy [to Miss Mary). What a let-off! I wouldn't have
minded lunch so much—but dinner—no, thank you, my dear!
3Iiss Mary {gloomily). She may call on Mother and ask us all yet.
Miss Sophy. She doesn't know where we are, and I took good care
not to tell her. It's getting too dark to see much, but we '11 just
walk through the rooms, to say we 've done it—shall we ? [They do.
wonclerful ? Why, you can count every single brick in the walls,
and the tiny little figures with their features all complete; you
want a magnifying-glass to see it all! How conscientious painters
were in those days! And what a difference from those "Impres-
sionists," as they call themselves.
Her Comp. {apathetically). Yes, indeed; I wonder whether it
would be better to get our tea here, or wait till we get outside ?
The Eld. L. Oh, it's too early yet. Look at that poor hunted
stag jumping over a dining-room table, and upsetting the glasses
and things. I suppose that's Landseer—no, I see it's some one of
the name of Snyders. I expect he got the idea from Landseer,
though, don't vou ?
Her Comp. Very likely indeed, dear ; but {pursuing her original
train of thought) you get rather nice tea at some of these aerated
bread-shops ; so perhaps if we waited—(^c, fyc.)
In Gallery No." III.
Two Pretty Nieces with an Elderly Uncle {coming to "Apollo and
Marsyas," by Tintoretto). What was the story of Apollo and
Marsyas, Uncle?
The Uncle. Apollo? Oh, come, you've heard of him, the—er-
bun-God, Phoebus-Apollo, and all that ?
His Nieces. Oh, yes, we know all that; but who was Marsyas, and
what does the Catalogue mean by " Athena and t'hree'Umpires?"
The Uncle. Oh—er—hum! Didn't they teach you all that at
A Settler eor Mr. Woods.—Mrs. Ram does not at all wonder at
Amateurs being able to " pick up old pieces of china at Christy's,"
for she has often heard that you've only got to go to King Street,
where anyone may see them "knocked down under a hammer."
vol ch.
m