DOI Heft:
January 9, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0028
18
PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 9, 1892.
A GREAT DRAWBACK.
Dougal (with all his native contempt for the Londoner). " Aye, Mon, an' he's no a Bad Shot?"
Davie. "'Deed an' he's a verra Quid Shot." Dougal. " Hech ! it's an awfu' peetie he's a Londoner!"
THE NEW MONITOR; OR, JOSEPH'S JOBATION.
[" It is reasonable to assume that Mr. Chamberlain will at once perceive
how his position has been altered by becoming the head of a party including
many shades of opinion, instead of being, as he has been, the spokesman of a
small set of politicians, earnest, no doubt, and 'active, but not quite in
sympathy with all those who shared their fortunes."—The Times.
" The arrangements consequent on Lord Hartington's succession to the
Peerage have very much narrowed the freedom previously enjoyed by the
Member for West Birmingham, and, in a corresponding degree, enlarged the
sphere of his responsibilities .... The Statesman who has to act as guide
and moderator at St. Stephen's will be careful, no doubt, not to compromise
his authority by any indiscreet or extravagant insistance on remote and
contentious issues."—The Standard.']
Scene — St. Stephen's School. Present, Doetor T., Principal,
Mrs. S., Matron, and Master Joe, Pupil, lately promoted to
Monitorship in the Lower School.
Doctor T. Ahem! And so, Joseph, we haYe to congratulate yon
upon your—a—a—promotion !
Master Joe (coolly). You are very good, Sir, I'm sure. [Whistles.
Doctor T. Not at all, Joseph, not at all. That is to say—ahem !
—you doubtless deserve it.
Mrs. S. Doubtless deserve it, Joseph ! I always said you would
turn out a better boy than, at one time I—that is to say, many—
expected. It is a great consolation to me, Joseph, after all the
care-
Master Joe (aside). And the numerous jobations!
Mrs. S. That I—that we have bestowed upon you, to find—ahem!
—our best hopes so amply fulfilled.
Dr. T. Fulfilled, Joseph ; whether amply or not it remains for
you to prove.
Master Joe (carelessly). All right, Sir, I '11 prove it fast enough.
Dr. T. I trust so, Joseph, I trust so, though "fast enough'' is
hardly the phrase I should have adopted, or—ahem !—recommended,
—in the circumstances!
" Is there a word wants nobleness and grace,
Devoid of weight, nor worthy of high place ? "
You know what our excellent Horace bids you do in such a case.
Master Joe (aside). Bothersome old Blimber !
3frs. S. Yes, Joseph, slanginess, carelessness and extravagance
of speech will not befit your present position, you know.
Master Joe. (aside). Prosy old Pipchin.'
Dr. 1\ You could not, Joseph, put before you a better model than
the boy whose post you assume, in consequence of his going to the
Upper School; young Harty, I mean, a boy who was ever a pattern
of propriety, and one absolutely to be depended upon to maintain the
prestige of the school, and—ahem !—the authority of the Masters, in
every contingency.
Mrs. S. In every contingency, Joseph. How unlike that talented,
but untrustworthy, senior of his, and of yours, Will Gladstone ; a
lad whose leadership you once acknowledged, but whose pernicious
influence, I am happy to find, you have lately quite cast off.
Master Joe (knowingly). Rather! Where there 's a Will there 's
a way; and Will thought it must always be hts way. But " not
for Joe !"
Dr. T. Again, Joseph, is not that—ahem!—quotation from the
popular minstrelsy of our time a leetle reminiscent of ruder, and
more Radical days ?
Master Joe. Perhaps so, Sir, perhaps so. Let me then say that
" Ego primam tollo, nominor quoniam IjCo " is a very pretty maxim
for lions—and jackals. The former role I may not yet nave risen to,
but I'm hanged if I '11 stoop to the latter.
Dr. T. Quite so, quite so ! At any rate, not in such a question-
able Leonina Societas. Remember, also, Joseph, what an awful
example you have in young Grandolph, with whom, at one time,
you seemed a little intimate. You have only to reflect upon his
fiasco, "to have the counsels of prudence borne in imperatively
upon your mind, and the lesson will not be the less impressively
taught if it is remembered that Grandolph will be on the spot to
take note of and profit by any mistakes that may be committed by
his more deserving and successful rival."
Master Joe (aside). Lessons all round, eh ? Seems to me all this
grandmotherly advice is wondrous like a " wigging " in disguise.
Perhaps they '11 find I'm better at teaching than learning.
Mrs. S. Cavendo tutus, Joseph, safe by caution. The motto of
your predecessor. You cannot do better than take it as your own.
Master Joe (innocently). Think not, Ma'am? I fancy every man
PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 9, 1892.
A GREAT DRAWBACK.
Dougal (with all his native contempt for the Londoner). " Aye, Mon, an' he's no a Bad Shot?"
Davie. "'Deed an' he's a verra Quid Shot." Dougal. " Hech ! it's an awfu' peetie he's a Londoner!"
THE NEW MONITOR; OR, JOSEPH'S JOBATION.
[" It is reasonable to assume that Mr. Chamberlain will at once perceive
how his position has been altered by becoming the head of a party including
many shades of opinion, instead of being, as he has been, the spokesman of a
small set of politicians, earnest, no doubt, and 'active, but not quite in
sympathy with all those who shared their fortunes."—The Times.
" The arrangements consequent on Lord Hartington's succession to the
Peerage have very much narrowed the freedom previously enjoyed by the
Member for West Birmingham, and, in a corresponding degree, enlarged the
sphere of his responsibilities .... The Statesman who has to act as guide
and moderator at St. Stephen's will be careful, no doubt, not to compromise
his authority by any indiscreet or extravagant insistance on remote and
contentious issues."—The Standard.']
Scene — St. Stephen's School. Present, Doetor T., Principal,
Mrs. S., Matron, and Master Joe, Pupil, lately promoted to
Monitorship in the Lower School.
Doctor T. Ahem! And so, Joseph, we haYe to congratulate yon
upon your—a—a—promotion !
Master Joe (coolly). You are very good, Sir, I'm sure. [Whistles.
Doctor T. Not at all, Joseph, not at all. That is to say—ahem !
—you doubtless deserve it.
Mrs. S. Doubtless deserve it, Joseph ! I always said you would
turn out a better boy than, at one time I—that is to say, many—
expected. It is a great consolation to me, Joseph, after all the
care-
Master Joe (aside). And the numerous jobations!
Mrs. S. That I—that we have bestowed upon you, to find—ahem!
—our best hopes so amply fulfilled.
Dr. T. Fulfilled, Joseph ; whether amply or not it remains for
you to prove.
Master Joe (carelessly). All right, Sir, I '11 prove it fast enough.
Dr. T. I trust so, Joseph, I trust so, though "fast enough'' is
hardly the phrase I should have adopted, or—ahem !—recommended,
—in the circumstances!
" Is there a word wants nobleness and grace,
Devoid of weight, nor worthy of high place ? "
You know what our excellent Horace bids you do in such a case.
Master Joe (aside). Bothersome old Blimber !
3frs. S. Yes, Joseph, slanginess, carelessness and extravagance
of speech will not befit your present position, you know.
Master Joe. (aside). Prosy old Pipchin.'
Dr. 1\ You could not, Joseph, put before you a better model than
the boy whose post you assume, in consequence of his going to the
Upper School; young Harty, I mean, a boy who was ever a pattern
of propriety, and one absolutely to be depended upon to maintain the
prestige of the school, and—ahem !—the authority of the Masters, in
every contingency.
Mrs. S. In every contingency, Joseph. How unlike that talented,
but untrustworthy, senior of his, and of yours, Will Gladstone ; a
lad whose leadership you once acknowledged, but whose pernicious
influence, I am happy to find, you have lately quite cast off.
Master Joe (knowingly). Rather! Where there 's a Will there 's
a way; and Will thought it must always be hts way. But " not
for Joe !"
Dr. T. Again, Joseph, is not that—ahem!—quotation from the
popular minstrelsy of our time a leetle reminiscent of ruder, and
more Radical days ?
Master Joe. Perhaps so, Sir, perhaps so. Let me then say that
" Ego primam tollo, nominor quoniam IjCo " is a very pretty maxim
for lions—and jackals. The former role I may not yet nave risen to,
but I'm hanged if I '11 stoop to the latter.
Dr. T. Quite so, quite so ! At any rate, not in such a question-
able Leonina Societas. Remember, also, Joseph, what an awful
example you have in young Grandolph, with whom, at one time,
you seemed a little intimate. You have only to reflect upon his
fiasco, "to have the counsels of prudence borne in imperatively
upon your mind, and the lesson will not be the less impressively
taught if it is remembered that Grandolph will be on the spot to
take note of and profit by any mistakes that may be committed by
his more deserving and successful rival."
Master Joe (aside). Lessons all round, eh ? Seems to me all this
grandmotherly advice is wondrous like a " wigging " in disguise.
Perhaps they '11 find I'm better at teaching than learning.
Mrs. S. Cavendo tutus, Joseph, safe by caution. The motto of
your predecessor. You cannot do better than take it as your own.
Master Joe (innocently). Think not, Ma'am? I fancy every man