DOI Heft:
January 16, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0040
30
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 16, 1892.
TRIUMPH OF ART OVER NATURE.
Serious Artist. "I think you knew the Model for this Figure—poor Beggar, Deaf
and Dumb."
Hist! What is that ? Thought I heard a
low grunt.
Hope not, I'm sure, for I'm sick of stye-
Yoices [brunt;
Arthur of those, has no doubt, borne the
Now in a semi-relief he rejoices
Pigs are fit only for styes and nose-ringing.
Never let Irish ones run loose and root,
Rather wish Arthur were less sweet on flinging
Pearls before pigs; as well feed 'em on fruit.
Hrumph ! There, I thought so! Hrumph!
hrumph ! What a pest!
Sure that big brute has his eye on my ladder.
Has Arthur loosed him P He thinks he
knows best,
But a nasty spill noiv !—nothing well could
be sadder
Brutes always rub their broad backs and stiff
bristles [lor!
Against—anything that comes handy. Oh
How the brute shoulders, and snorts, grunts
and whistles!
Off to the gutter, you big Irish boar I
Not he! He nears me! It is Arthur's pet.
Light ladder this ; would capsize in a jiffy.
His bristles he'd scrape and his tusks he
would whet
Against it, I wish he were drowned in the
_ Liffey!
Whisht ! Gret away ! He 's so heavy and big.
There! round the ladder he 's playing the
fooler. [Pig!
Ah! there 's the rub. Patrick scumfish that
If he doesn't mean deviltry I'm a—Home
Ruler! [Left fidgetting.
UNASKED.
Unasked, the Tax-Collector wild
Presents to smirking Mary his
Demand—on what the Roman styled
" Kalendis Januariis."
Unasked, a Christmas-box to gain,
Sweeps, lamplighters, and postmen come ;
Unasked—too often to remain—
The wife's mammas of most men come.
Unasked, it looms—that ophicleide
From Germany, with melodies
Whereat the cow of story died;
Whereat a modern fellow dies.
Unasked, partakes my Christmas cheer,
(Whom oft, my front-door bell at, I've
Surprised, the better much for beer)—
My Cook's fraternal relative.
Unasked, my bills appear in shoals,
" With, compliments" from creditors;
Unasked, in verse I send my soul's
Throbs—with a stamp—to Editors.
Light-hearted Friend. " I know,—used to sit at Corner of Street. Deaf and Dumb ; i
By Jove, you've made a Speaking Likeness of him! Wonderful ! !" Unasked, that editorial pack
1 THERE 'S THE RUB!'" jl'm Champion Bill-Poster! Even Brum
Joey,
Who flouted me once will acknowledge that
Return my " throbs " in heavy, new,
Crisp envelopes, unstamped, alack !
While I defray the Revenue.
(An Old Story with a New Application.)
Champion Bill-Poster, loquitur :—
"Bill-stickers beware!" Ah! that's all
very well, [ing.
A wondrously wise, if conventional, warn-
But I'm the legitimate " Poster "—a swell
In the paste-pot profession, all "notices"
scorning. error.
A brush surreptitious, and Bills unofficial, Bold letters, brave colour! A poster to
No doubt, are a nuisance to people of taste, j strike,—
To Order offensive, to Law prejudicial, Admiration with some, and with some,
But who can object to my pot and my paste ? ! . perhaps, terror.
. I wish I quite knew that the former prepon-
'Tis time that this Poster were up! Slap- 1 derate,—
dap-slosh ! _ [letters ! j That is, sufficiently. Mutterings I hear,—
fac^ Mrs. Ram's nephew was reading aloud the
Mv Bills are so goey, and fetching, and showv, Prospectus _ of the Clerical, _ Medical, and
My paste so adhesive, my brush so exact! i General Life Assurance Society. She was
Slap-slop-slidder - slosh ! There's " stick-
phast," if you like.
Bill-sticking like this is an Art, and no
I think it a telling one. Brave, Big, Blue
Some rivals about, but their programmes
won't wash; [betters.
Those Newcastle noodles must own us their
But there, 'tis a Bill to admire, and to won-
der at.
Why, after five seasons' success, should I
fear ?
much impressed by the idea of Clerical
Assurance, and expressed herself greatly
pleased at the Yen. Archdeacon Farrar
being one of the Directors. " But what
puzzles me," observed the excellent lady,
"is a paragraph headed 'Disposal of the
Surplice.' I know that, years ago, there
was a ' surplice difficulty.' But I thought
that had been disposed of. Or," she added,
brightening up, as if struck by a happy
solution of the difficulty, "does it mean
that the Clerical Assurance Society means
to take in washing ? Most useful if they do,
and so paying."
Definition of "Chaff."—The husk of Wit.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 16, 1892.
TRIUMPH OF ART OVER NATURE.
Serious Artist. "I think you knew the Model for this Figure—poor Beggar, Deaf
and Dumb."
Hist! What is that ? Thought I heard a
low grunt.
Hope not, I'm sure, for I'm sick of stye-
Yoices [brunt;
Arthur of those, has no doubt, borne the
Now in a semi-relief he rejoices
Pigs are fit only for styes and nose-ringing.
Never let Irish ones run loose and root,
Rather wish Arthur were less sweet on flinging
Pearls before pigs; as well feed 'em on fruit.
Hrumph ! There, I thought so! Hrumph!
hrumph ! What a pest!
Sure that big brute has his eye on my ladder.
Has Arthur loosed him P He thinks he
knows best,
But a nasty spill noiv !—nothing well could
be sadder
Brutes always rub their broad backs and stiff
bristles [lor!
Against—anything that comes handy. Oh
How the brute shoulders, and snorts, grunts
and whistles!
Off to the gutter, you big Irish boar I
Not he! He nears me! It is Arthur's pet.
Light ladder this ; would capsize in a jiffy.
His bristles he'd scrape and his tusks he
would whet
Against it, I wish he were drowned in the
_ Liffey!
Whisht ! Gret away ! He 's so heavy and big.
There! round the ladder he 's playing the
fooler. [Pig!
Ah! there 's the rub. Patrick scumfish that
If he doesn't mean deviltry I'm a—Home
Ruler! [Left fidgetting.
UNASKED.
Unasked, the Tax-Collector wild
Presents to smirking Mary his
Demand—on what the Roman styled
" Kalendis Januariis."
Unasked, a Christmas-box to gain,
Sweeps, lamplighters, and postmen come ;
Unasked—too often to remain—
The wife's mammas of most men come.
Unasked, it looms—that ophicleide
From Germany, with melodies
Whereat the cow of story died;
Whereat a modern fellow dies.
Unasked, partakes my Christmas cheer,
(Whom oft, my front-door bell at, I've
Surprised, the better much for beer)—
My Cook's fraternal relative.
Unasked, my bills appear in shoals,
" With, compliments" from creditors;
Unasked, in verse I send my soul's
Throbs—with a stamp—to Editors.
Light-hearted Friend. " I know,—used to sit at Corner of Street. Deaf and Dumb ; i
By Jove, you've made a Speaking Likeness of him! Wonderful ! !" Unasked, that editorial pack
1 THERE 'S THE RUB!'" jl'm Champion Bill-Poster! Even Brum
Joey,
Who flouted me once will acknowledge that
Return my " throbs " in heavy, new,
Crisp envelopes, unstamped, alack !
While I defray the Revenue.
(An Old Story with a New Application.)
Champion Bill-Poster, loquitur :—
"Bill-stickers beware!" Ah! that's all
very well, [ing.
A wondrously wise, if conventional, warn-
But I'm the legitimate " Poster "—a swell
In the paste-pot profession, all "notices"
scorning. error.
A brush surreptitious, and Bills unofficial, Bold letters, brave colour! A poster to
No doubt, are a nuisance to people of taste, j strike,—
To Order offensive, to Law prejudicial, Admiration with some, and with some,
But who can object to my pot and my paste ? ! . perhaps, terror.
. I wish I quite knew that the former prepon-
'Tis time that this Poster were up! Slap- 1 derate,—
dap-slosh ! _ [letters ! j That is, sufficiently. Mutterings I hear,—
fac^ Mrs. Ram's nephew was reading aloud the
Mv Bills are so goey, and fetching, and showv, Prospectus _ of the Clerical, _ Medical, and
My paste so adhesive, my brush so exact! i General Life Assurance Society. She was
Slap-slop-slidder - slosh ! There's " stick-
phast," if you like.
Bill-sticking like this is an Art, and no
I think it a telling one. Brave, Big, Blue
Some rivals about, but their programmes
won't wash; [betters.
Those Newcastle noodles must own us their
But there, 'tis a Bill to admire, and to won-
der at.
Why, after five seasons' success, should I
fear ?
much impressed by the idea of Clerical
Assurance, and expressed herself greatly
pleased at the Yen. Archdeacon Farrar
being one of the Directors. " But what
puzzles me," observed the excellent lady,
"is a paragraph headed 'Disposal of the
Surplice.' I know that, years ago, there
was a ' surplice difficulty.' But I thought
that had been disposed of. Or," she added,
brightening up, as if struck by a happy
solution of the difficulty, "does it mean
that the Clerical Assurance Society means
to take in washing ? Most useful if they do,
and so paying."
Definition of "Chaff."—The husk of Wit.