DOI Heft:
January 30, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0070
60
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 30, 1892.
M. JR. {cutting in). Why, my dear fellow,
it wasn't Laiinceston at all, it was Lancaster,
and-
[Tells story all over again to the Chan-
cery Judges.
L. C. Yes—excellent. I thought it took
place at Chester—but really, now, we must
get to business. So, first of all, will anyone
kindly tell me what the business is ?
Mr. Justice A. (a very young Judge).
Well, the fact is, I believe the Public-
Chorus of Judges. The what ?
Mr. Justice A. {with hesitation). Why—I
was going to say there seems to be a sort of
discontent amongst the Public
L. C. {icith dignity). Really, really—what
have we to do with the Public ? _ But in case
there should be any truth in this extraordi-
nary statement, I think we might as well ap-
point a Committee to look into it, and then
we can meet again some day and hear what
it is all about.
L. C. J. Yes, a Committee by all means ;
the smaller the better. " Too many cooks,"
as dear old Horace puts it.
M. JR. Talking of cooks, isn't it about! <£rrr
lunch time ?
[General consensus of opinion in favour of
lunching. As they adjourn, L. C. J. de-
tains Chancery Judges to tell them a story
about something that happened at Bod-
min, and, to prevent mistakes, tells it
in West Country dialect. M. R. imme-
diately repeats it in strong Yorkshire,
and lays the venue at Bradford. Result;
that the whole of Her Majesty's Courts
in Jondon were closed for one day.
THE HERO OF THE SUMMER SALE.
tfhj our own Private and Confidential Poetess.)
I would I loved some belted Earl,
Some Baronet, or K.C.B.,
But I'm a most unhappy girl,
And no such luck's in store for me !
I would I loved some Soldier bold, | Henley has
Who leads his troops where cannons pop,
But if the bitter truth be told—
I love a man who walks a shop!
For oh! a King of Men is he—
With princely strut and stiffened spine—
So his, and his alone, shall be,
This fondly foolish heart of mine!
OUR BOOKIXG-OITICE.
One of the Baron's Deputy-Readers has
been looking through Mr. G. W. Henley's
Lyra Heroica; a Book of Verse for Boys.
(David Nutt, London.) This is his apprecia-
t i o n : — Mr.
THE LAY OP THE LITIGANT.
{After Hood. Also after Coleridge's {C.J.)
Letter to the Lord Chancellor on the decay of
Legal Business.)
I remember, I remember
The Law when I was born,
The Serjeants, brothers of the coif,
The Judges dead and gone.
The Judicature Acts to them
Were utterly unknown;
It was a fearful ignorance—
Oh, would it were my own !
I remember, I remember
The worthy " Proctor " race,
The "Posteas," and the "Elegits,"
The " Actions on the Case."
The/'Error » each Attorney's Clerk
Did wilfully abet,
The days of ''Bills'; in Equity—
So?ne bills are living yet!
I remember, I remember
The years of " Jarndyce" jaw,
The lively game of shuttlecock
'Twixt Equity and Law.
Tribunals then were " Courts " indeed
That are "Divisions" now Monday, Jan. 18, 1892. "Bath and West
And Silken Gowns have feared the frowns of England's Society's Cheese School at
Upon a Baron s brow. Erome." Of this School, the Times, judging
We remember, we remember by results, speaks highly of " the practical
The Nourishing of trumps, j character of _ the instruction given at the
When Parliament took up our wrongs, j School." This is a bad look-out for Eton and
And manned the legal pumps. j Harrow, not to say for Winchester and West-
Those noble Acts (they said) would end j minster also. All parents who wish their
children to be " quite the cheese " in Society
generally, and particularly for Bath and the
West of England, where, of course, Society is
I remember, I remember remarkably exclusive cannot do better, it is
Expenses mountains high : Tpi q i° \ bath
I usecl to think, when duly "taxed," West of E^land Cheese School.
They'd vanish by-and-by.
It was a foolish confidence, On the Traill.—It is suggested that in
But now 'tis little joy future M.P. should stand for Minor Poet.
To know that Law's as slow and dear Would this satisfy Mr. Lewis Morris ? Or
As when I was a boy ! j would he insist on being gazetted as a Major ?
On Remnant Days—from morn till night,
When blows fall fast, and words run high,
When frenzied females fiercely fight
Eor bargains that they long to buy—
From hot attack he does not flinch,
But stands his ground with visage pale,
And all the time looks every inch
The Hero of that Summer Sale !
For oh! a King of Men is he—
Whom shop-assistants call to " Sign! "
So his, and his alone, shall be
This fondly foolish heart of mine !
Obstructions and delay,
And ne'er again would litigants
The piper have to pay,
tacked his
name to a col-
lection which
contains some
noble poems,
some (but not
much) trash,
and a good
many pieces,
which, how-
ever poetical
they may be,
are certainly
not heroic,
seeing that
they do not
express '' the
simpler sen-
timents, and The Allowing Page.
the more elemental emotions" (I use Mr.
Henley"'s prefatory words), and are scarcely
the sort of verse that boys are likely, or
ought to care about. To be sure, Mr. Hen-
ley guards himself on the score of his
"personal equation"— I trust his boys
understand what he means. My own per-
sonal equation makes me doubt whether Mr.
Henley has done well in including such
pieces as, for instance, Herbert's "Memento
Mori," Curran's " The Deserter," Swin-
burne's " The Oblation," and Alfred
Austin's "7s Life Worth Living*?" If
Mr. Henley, or anybody else who happens
to possess a personal equation, will point out
to me the heroic quality in these poems, I
shall feel deeply grateful. And how, in the
name of all that is or ever was heroic, has
" Auld Lang Syne" crept into this collec-
tion of heroic verse ? As for Mr. Alfred
Austin, I cannot think by what right he
secures a place in such a compilation. I have
rarely read a piece of his which did not con-
tain at least one glaring infelicity. In " Ls
Life Worth Living?" he tells us of " blithe
herds," which (in compliance with the obvious
necessities of rhyme, but for no other reason)
" "Wend homeward with umveary feet,
Carolling like the birds."
Further on we find that
" England's trident-sceptre roams
Her territorial seas,"
merely because the unfortunate sceptre has
to rhyme somehow to " English homes."
But I have a further complaint against Mr.
Henley. He presumes, in the most fantastic
manner, to alter the well-known titles of
celebrated poems. " The Lsles of Greece" is
made to masquerade as '' The Glory that was
Greece "; " Auld Lang Syne " becomes " The
Goal of Life," and " Tom Bowline" is con-
verted into " The Perfect Sailor." This surely
(again I use the words of Mr. Henley) " is a
thing preposterous, and distraught." On
the whole, I cannot think that Mr. Henley
has done his part well. His manner is bad.
His selection, it seems to me, is open to grave
censure, on broader grounds than the mere
personally equational of which he speaks, and
his choppings, and sub-titles, and so forth,
are not commendable. The irony of literary
history has apparently ordained that Mr.
Henley should first patronise, and then
"cut," both Campbell and Macaui.ay. Was
the shade of Macaulay disturbed when he
learnt that Mr. Henley considered his " Battle
of Naseby" both " vicious and ugly" ?
Baron de Book-Worms & Co.
(p^ NOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Hatter, Drawings, or Pictures oi any aescripuoa, *iu
in 2io case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper, To this ruli
there will be no exception.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 30, 1892.
M. JR. {cutting in). Why, my dear fellow,
it wasn't Laiinceston at all, it was Lancaster,
and-
[Tells story all over again to the Chan-
cery Judges.
L. C. Yes—excellent. I thought it took
place at Chester—but really, now, we must
get to business. So, first of all, will anyone
kindly tell me what the business is ?
Mr. Justice A. (a very young Judge).
Well, the fact is, I believe the Public-
Chorus of Judges. The what ?
Mr. Justice A. {with hesitation). Why—I
was going to say there seems to be a sort of
discontent amongst the Public
L. C. {icith dignity). Really, really—what
have we to do with the Public ? _ But in case
there should be any truth in this extraordi-
nary statement, I think we might as well ap-
point a Committee to look into it, and then
we can meet again some day and hear what
it is all about.
L. C. J. Yes, a Committee by all means ;
the smaller the better. " Too many cooks,"
as dear old Horace puts it.
M. JR. Talking of cooks, isn't it about! <£rrr
lunch time ?
[General consensus of opinion in favour of
lunching. As they adjourn, L. C. J. de-
tains Chancery Judges to tell them a story
about something that happened at Bod-
min, and, to prevent mistakes, tells it
in West Country dialect. M. R. imme-
diately repeats it in strong Yorkshire,
and lays the venue at Bradford. Result;
that the whole of Her Majesty's Courts
in Jondon were closed for one day.
THE HERO OF THE SUMMER SALE.
tfhj our own Private and Confidential Poetess.)
I would I loved some belted Earl,
Some Baronet, or K.C.B.,
But I'm a most unhappy girl,
And no such luck's in store for me !
I would I loved some Soldier bold, | Henley has
Who leads his troops where cannons pop,
But if the bitter truth be told—
I love a man who walks a shop!
For oh! a King of Men is he—
With princely strut and stiffened spine—
So his, and his alone, shall be,
This fondly foolish heart of mine!
OUR BOOKIXG-OITICE.
One of the Baron's Deputy-Readers has
been looking through Mr. G. W. Henley's
Lyra Heroica; a Book of Verse for Boys.
(David Nutt, London.) This is his apprecia-
t i o n : — Mr.
THE LAY OP THE LITIGANT.
{After Hood. Also after Coleridge's {C.J.)
Letter to the Lord Chancellor on the decay of
Legal Business.)
I remember, I remember
The Law when I was born,
The Serjeants, brothers of the coif,
The Judges dead and gone.
The Judicature Acts to them
Were utterly unknown;
It was a fearful ignorance—
Oh, would it were my own !
I remember, I remember
The worthy " Proctor " race,
The "Posteas," and the "Elegits,"
The " Actions on the Case."
The/'Error » each Attorney's Clerk
Did wilfully abet,
The days of ''Bills'; in Equity—
So?ne bills are living yet!
I remember, I remember
The years of " Jarndyce" jaw,
The lively game of shuttlecock
'Twixt Equity and Law.
Tribunals then were " Courts " indeed
That are "Divisions" now Monday, Jan. 18, 1892. "Bath and West
And Silken Gowns have feared the frowns of England's Society's Cheese School at
Upon a Baron s brow. Erome." Of this School, the Times, judging
We remember, we remember by results, speaks highly of " the practical
The Nourishing of trumps, j character of _ the instruction given at the
When Parliament took up our wrongs, j School." This is a bad look-out for Eton and
And manned the legal pumps. j Harrow, not to say for Winchester and West-
Those noble Acts (they said) would end j minster also. All parents who wish their
children to be " quite the cheese " in Society
generally, and particularly for Bath and the
West of England, where, of course, Society is
I remember, I remember remarkably exclusive cannot do better, it is
Expenses mountains high : Tpi q i° \ bath
I usecl to think, when duly "taxed," West of E^land Cheese School.
They'd vanish by-and-by.
It was a foolish confidence, On the Traill.—It is suggested that in
But now 'tis little joy future M.P. should stand for Minor Poet.
To know that Law's as slow and dear Would this satisfy Mr. Lewis Morris ? Or
As when I was a boy ! j would he insist on being gazetted as a Major ?
On Remnant Days—from morn till night,
When blows fall fast, and words run high,
When frenzied females fiercely fight
Eor bargains that they long to buy—
From hot attack he does not flinch,
But stands his ground with visage pale,
And all the time looks every inch
The Hero of that Summer Sale !
For oh! a King of Men is he—
Whom shop-assistants call to " Sign! "
So his, and his alone, shall be
This fondly foolish heart of mine !
Obstructions and delay,
And ne'er again would litigants
The piper have to pay,
tacked his
name to a col-
lection which
contains some
noble poems,
some (but not
much) trash,
and a good
many pieces,
which, how-
ever poetical
they may be,
are certainly
not heroic,
seeing that
they do not
express '' the
simpler sen-
timents, and The Allowing Page.
the more elemental emotions" (I use Mr.
Henley"'s prefatory words), and are scarcely
the sort of verse that boys are likely, or
ought to care about. To be sure, Mr. Hen-
ley guards himself on the score of his
"personal equation"— I trust his boys
understand what he means. My own per-
sonal equation makes me doubt whether Mr.
Henley has done well in including such
pieces as, for instance, Herbert's "Memento
Mori," Curran's " The Deserter," Swin-
burne's " The Oblation," and Alfred
Austin's "7s Life Worth Living*?" If
Mr. Henley, or anybody else who happens
to possess a personal equation, will point out
to me the heroic quality in these poems, I
shall feel deeply grateful. And how, in the
name of all that is or ever was heroic, has
" Auld Lang Syne" crept into this collec-
tion of heroic verse ? As for Mr. Alfred
Austin, I cannot think by what right he
secures a place in such a compilation. I have
rarely read a piece of his which did not con-
tain at least one glaring infelicity. In " Ls
Life Worth Living?" he tells us of " blithe
herds," which (in compliance with the obvious
necessities of rhyme, but for no other reason)
" "Wend homeward with umveary feet,
Carolling like the birds."
Further on we find that
" England's trident-sceptre roams
Her territorial seas,"
merely because the unfortunate sceptre has
to rhyme somehow to " English homes."
But I have a further complaint against Mr.
Henley. He presumes, in the most fantastic
manner, to alter the well-known titles of
celebrated poems. " The Lsles of Greece" is
made to masquerade as '' The Glory that was
Greece "; " Auld Lang Syne " becomes " The
Goal of Life," and " Tom Bowline" is con-
verted into " The Perfect Sailor." This surely
(again I use the words of Mr. Henley) " is a
thing preposterous, and distraught." On
the whole, I cannot think that Mr. Henley
has done his part well. His manner is bad.
His selection, it seems to me, is open to grave
censure, on broader grounds than the mere
personally equational of which he speaks, and
his choppings, and sub-titles, and so forth,
are not commendable. The irony of literary
history has apparently ordained that Mr.
Henley should first patronise, and then
"cut," both Campbell and Macaui.ay. Was
the shade of Macaulay disturbed when he
learnt that Mr. Henley considered his " Battle
of Naseby" both " vicious and ugly" ?
Baron de Book-Worms & Co.
(p^ NOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Hatter, Drawings, or Pictures oi any aescripuoa, *iu
in 2io case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper, To this ruli
there will be no exception.