Punch (102.1892)

88

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. (February 20, 1892.

toawc-, . IIU~ ortMnAMiAMP Podb. {exasperated). There you go again! I can't stand being

THE TRAVELLING COMPANIONS. jawed at, Culchard, and I won't!

No. XXYI. Culch. I am no more conscious of "jawing" than "jabbering,"
„ ^ ,i t n -.-n 1 T7 - and if that is how I am to be spoken to--!

Scene—On the Lagoons. Culchard ana Podbury's gondola is p0db. I know. Look here, it's no use. You must go to Florence
nearing J mice.. The apricot-tinted diaper on the facade of the b vourself. I simply don't feel up to it, and that's the truth. I
Ducal Palace is already distinguishable, and behind its battle- shall just tter aW herG) till—till they go.

ments the pearl-grey summits of the domes of St. Mark s shim- CuIch, Ag choose> r „ave you the opportunity-out of kind-
mer in the warm air. Culchakd and Podbury have hardly ness> If you prefer to make yourself ridiculous by hanging about
exchanged a sentence as yet. Ihe former has just left off here, it's no concern of mine. 1 daresay I shall enjoy Florence at
lugubriously whistling as much as he can remember of Che ieast as we]j hy myself

faro," the'latter is still humming " The Bead March in Saul," ' (He sulks unta th' arrire at the Hotd Bandolo, where they arc
although m a livelier manner than at first. received on the steps by the Porter.

Culch. Well, my dear Podbury, our—er—expedition has turned Porter. Goot afternoon, Schendlemen. You have a bleasant dimes
out rather disastrously! _ j at Torcello, yes ? Ach ! you haf cif your gondoliers vifdeen franc ?

Podb. {suspending the Dead March, chokily). Not much mistake [ Zey schvindle you, oal ze gondoliers alvays schvindles eferypody,
about that—but there, it's no good talking about it. Jolly that | yes ! Zere is som ledders for you. I vetch zem. [He bustles aivay.
brown and yellow sail looks on the fruit-barge there. See ? 3fr. Bellerby {suddenly emerging from a recess in the entrance, as

Culch. {sardonically). Isn't it a little late in the day to be he recognises Cttlchard). Why, bless me, there's a face I know!
cultivating an eye for colour ? I was about to Met at Lugano, didn't we ? To be sure—very

say that those two girls have treated us in- \ pleasant chat we had too! So you're at Yenice,

famously. I say deliberately, my dear Pod- r^;7- raHK^ «••• ? 1 know every stone of it by heart, as I

bury, infamously! "vffiS ^M^W^ needn't say. The first time I was ever at

Podb. Now drop it, Culchard, do you hear ? 5 y/\ Pt^^-V Yenice-

I won't hear a word against either of them. It '«'.. .[Ji^^ \W<^Mf Culch. {tailing a bulky envelope from the

serves us jolly well right for not knowing our /\ wimll \ '% Porter). Just so—how are you? Er—will you

own minds better—though I no more dreamed \ / mS'/wA ^.<^-'"f\\ »/ excuse me?

thai old Bob would------ Oh, hang it, I can't H^k mjMfflmlim^ —> [Lie opens the envelope and finds a blue official-

tails, about it yet! ^JW/M' "vm\ 'fix V\7 ' looking enclosure, which he reads with a

Culch. That's childishness, my dear fellow; wm^m^ '%l^V If^V * ' "-^ gradually lengthening countenance.

you ought to talk about it—it will do you good. wwffifa?1) | T ' fr*') ^' (as Culchard thrusts the letter an-

And really, I'm not at all sure, after all, that WlF'tfw^U wm> V0^Wff% ^r^y *nto pocket). You're new to Venice, I

we have not both of us had a fortunate _ escape. m//fW.Wp^ j\ f \m^IW<w think? Well, just let me give you a word of

One is very apt to—er—overrate the fascinations ■ / /-/ Ak^'^I «r advice. Now you are here—you make them

of persons one meets abroad. Now, neither of *W/•.• wB^^m // I F give you some tunny. Insist on it, Sir. Why,

those two was quite — Xti//;/'. V^WM^y > when] was here first--•

Podb. {desperately). Take care! I swear I'll i/f? 1 il « \ Culch. {impatiently). 1 know. I mean, you

pitch you out of this gondola, unless you stop lla \wmf/;'''//ml j fed told me that before. And I have tasted tunny,

that jabber! # Mm mil//'/ V \ M Ifr. B. Ha! well, what did you think of it

Culch. {with wounded dignity). I am willing to V'W^hWw'r// 'W W) Delicious, eh?

make great allowances for your state of mind, 111/// ym/im f Culch. {forgetting all his manners). Beastly,

Podbury, but such an expression as—as jabber, > iWmk".. tmrn/ ill Sir, beastly.' [Leaves the scandalised Mr. B.

applied to my—er—well-meant attempts at con- ' roS^^fflw-: I ill abruptly, and rushes off to get a telegram form

solation, and just as I was about to propose an . WWffin 'W1 i I fflfl a^ bureau.

arrangement—really, it's too much! The mo- 1 ' WwlnWl'M Crawley Strutt {pouncing on Podbury in

ment we reach the hotel, I will relieve you from WW/j wlli§ «H/'!: rAe hall, as he finishes the perusal of his letter).

any further infliction from {bitterly) what you Mi p/ W/w m!i> ,; j Excuse me—but surely I have the honour of

are pleased to call my "jabber!" W wL W$/ ^ml^'m l addressing Lord George Gtmblktox? You

Podb. {sulkily). Very well—'m sure J don't ^' /mln W$< / 'iMmi i may perhaps just recollect, my Lord-?

care! [To himself'.) Even old Culchard won't \ . ;//Wk fMM ' Wm // Podb. (blankly). Think you've made a mis-

have anything to do with me now! 1 must \ Sr-* \ \ fflmf BMjj take, really.

have somebody to talk to or I shall go off my \ x mm h Wlif'i J/>. C. S. Is it possible! I have come across

head! {Aloud.) I say, old chap ! [No answer.) \ \ \W«M'WarM so many people while I've been away that—but

Look here—it's bad enough as it is without our \ W/M/'' ffif// surely we have met somewhere? Why, of

having a row ! Never mind anything I said. \ mm i IMuin course, Sir John Jubber ! you must pardon me,

Culch. 1 do mind—I must. I am not accus- \ W>'m; i «Ky( Sir John--

tomed to hear myself called a—a jabberer.' \ jM^M\ Wgl^r^ Podb. {recognising him). My name's Pod-

Podb. I didnt call you a jabberer—I only said |L yj^^f^^^ bury—plain Podbury, but you're quite right,

you talked jabber. I—I hardly know what I llfel AM. You hare met me—and you've met my boot-

do say, when I'm like this. And I'm deuced ('lb maker too. "Lord Uppersole," eh? That's

sorry I spoke—there! \ where the mistake came in!

Culch. {relaxing). Well, do you withdraw « Reatfs with a gradually lengtheniii"- @> ®- \with hauteur). I think not, Sir ; I

jabber? countenance." ° have no recollection of the circumstance. I see

Podb. Certainly, old chap. I like you to talk, now your face is quite unfamiliar to me._

onlynot—not against Her, you know! Whatwereyou going to propose ? j [He moves away; Podbury gets a telegram form and sits down

Culch. Well, my idea was this. My leave is practically unlimited at a table in the hall opposite Culchard.

—at least, without vanity, I think I may say that my Chief suf- Culch. {reading over his telegram). "Yours just received. Am
ficiently appreciates my services not to make a fuss about a few returning immediately."

extra days. So I thought I'd just run down to Florence and Naples, \ Podb. (do., do.). " Letter to hand. No end sorry. Start at once."
and perhaps catch a P. & 0. at Brindisi. I suppose you're not tied ' {Seeing Culchard,) Wiring to Florence for room, eh ?
to time in any way ? Culch. Er—no. The fact is, I've just heard from my Chief—a—a

Podb. (dolefully). Free as a bird! If the Governor had wanted me ', most intemperate communication, insisting on my instant return to
back in the City, he'd have let me know it. Well ? | my duties ! I shall have to humour him, I suppose, and leave

('ulch. Well, if you like to come with me, I—I shall be very pleased : at once,
to have your company. Podb. So shall I. No end of a shirty letter from the Governor.

Podb. (considering). I don't care if I do—it may cheer mo up a ; Wants to know how much longer I expect him_to be tied to the
bit. Florence, eh?—and Naples? I shouldn't mind a look at Florence, office. Old humbug, when he only turns up twice a week for a
Or Home. How about Pome, now ? couple of hours!

Culch. (to himself). Was I wise to expose myself to this sort of , The Porter. Peg your bardons, Schendlemen, but if you haf qvide

thing again f I'm almost sorry I- (Aloud.) My dear fellow, if we

are to travel together in any sort of comfort, you must leave all
details to me. And there's one thing I do insist on. In future we
must keep to our original resolution—not to be drawn into any

done vid ze schtamps on your ledders, I gollect bostage schtamps,

yes.

Culch. {irritably flinging him the envelope). Oh, confound it all,
take them. /don't want them! (He looks at his letter once more.)

chance acquaintanceship. I don't want to reproach you, but if, I say, Podbury, it—it's worse than I thought. This thing's a week
when we were nrst at Brussels, you had not allowed yourself to get! old! Must have been lying in my rooms all this time—or else in
so intimate with the Trotters, all this would never- ! that infernal Italian post!