Punch (102.1892)

March 5, 1892.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Ill

QUITE UP TO DATE.

Cousin Madge. "Well, Good-bye, Charlie. So many thanks for Taking Care of tjs ! " Charlie. " Not at all!"

THE MODERN ALEXANDER'S FEAST

Or, the Power of Sound.

(An Ode for the Brandenburg Diet Day ; a long
way after Dryden.)

[" At the banquet of the Diet of Brandenburg,
the German Emperor said : — ' The assured
knowledge that your sympathy loyally attends me
in my work, inspires me with fresh strength to
persevere in my task, and to advance along the
path marked out for me by Heaven. To this are
added the sense of responsibility to our Supreme
Lord above, and my unshakable conviction that
He, our former ally at Eossbach and Dennewitz,
will not leave me in the lurch. He has taken such
infinite pains with our ancient Brandenburg and
our House, that we cannot suppose he has done
this for no purpose . . . My course is the right one,
and it will be persevered in."—Daily Paper.']

'Twas in the royal feast Brandenburg set
For Providence's pet:
Aloft in Teuton state
The god-like hero sate

On his Imperial throne :
His Brandenburgers listened round,
Appreciative of the Power of Sound ;
All admire shouting—when the Shouter's
crowned!
The Jovian Eagle at his side
Perched, and like Rheims's Jackdaw,
eyed

The Olympian hero in his pride.

Happy, happy, happy Chief !

None but the loud,

None but the loud,
From the crass crowd may win belief !
His locks he shook, his long moustache
he_ twirled,

And saw a vision of himself as Sovereign of
the World!

The listening crowd admire the lofty sound.
"A present deity! " they shout around.
"A present deity! " the vaulted roofs re-
bound.
With ravished ears,
The monarch hears,
Assumes the god,
Affects to nod,
And seems to shake the spheres !

In praise of Brandenburg the Shouting
Emperor spoke,
In language like a huge thrasonic joke.
The newest god in triumph comes ;
Blare the trumpets, thump the drums :
Flushed with a purple grace,
He lifts his Jovian face !
Now give the blowers breath. He comes, he
comes !

New Alexander fair and young,
Drinking, in Teuton nectar, once again

To Brandenburg, that treasure

Of earth, and heaven's chief pleasure,

Rich the treasure,

Sweet the pleasure,
Which to the gods has given such pain!

Soothed with the sound, the Emperor grows
vain,

Fights all his battles o'er again;
'Twas Heaven that routed all his foes, Olym-
pus slew his slain.
He has the greatest of allies !
Doubters are dastards in his eyes,
And grumblers at their deified
Young Emperor in his proper pride,
Should shake from their false shoes
Germania's dust. The Muse
Must sing Jove-WiLHELM great and good,
By a benignant fate

Lifted, gifted, gifted, lifted,
Lifted to a god's estate,

Olympian in his mood:

^ ^fc -fr *

The mighty Master smiled to see,
Infant-in-Arms, young Germany,
Jove's nursling, quit his cot and pap,
And, quite a promising young chap,
Grown out of baby-shoes and bottle,
And "draughts" which teased his infant
throttle,

Get rid of ailments, turn-turn troubles,
Tooth-cutting pangs, and'' windy" bubbles,
A tremendous time beginning ;

Fighting still, all foes destroying :—
" A world-empire 's worth the winning !
Its fair foretaste I'm enjoying.
The new god now sits beside ye,
Take the gifts he will provide ye !
He 's your young Orbilian schooler,
Your Hereditary Ruler! "
(The Brandenburgers bellow loud applause.)
'' My course is right, and glorious is my
Cause !!! "
The Prince, the god unable to restrain,
Rose from his chair,
With Jovian air,
And, hanging up his thunderbolts with care,
What time his eagle gave a gruesome glare,
The nectar gulped again and yet again :
Then stooping his horned helmet firm to
jam on,

Voted himself the New God — Jupiter-
(G)Ammon!
*****

" Let Alexander yield the prize
To Wilhelm of the Iron Crown ;
lie raised himself unto the skies,
/bring Olympus down ! .' ! "