Punch (102.1892)

March 19, 1892.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

135

THE FORCE OE EXAMPLE.

(A Story of Adventure not in the least Likely to he True.)
"Do you see what Ritchie has been doing ? " asked the Secretary
of State for War of one of his colleagues.

a half-starved convict, and a sailor covered with bruises, met by
chance in the common room of a tavern. For some minutes they
were too exhausted to speak. At length, the convict declared that
the organisation of Her Majesty's Prisons was simply perfect.

' I greatly doubt it," replied the soldier; " but I can insist with

If you mean visiting the Casual Wards, after attending a truth, that nothing can possibly equal the admirable condition of the
meeting in the East End of London, I do," replied the Home- i Queen's Barracks."

Secretary. "An excellent idea, no doubt, suggested by that old1 "I don't for a moment believe it," put in the sea-faring man;

story of the Amateur Casual, which appeared some twenty or thirty " but I am prepared to swear that the arrangements of the Admiralty

years ago in the columns of an evening paper." could not possibly be better."

" But don't you think it is playing it a little low ? " suggested the " Very likely," sneered the convict; " and no doubt they could not

First Lord of the Admiralty. be worse! "

"Well, I don't know," returned the Autocrat of the W. 0. Upon this the three men began quarrelling and boasting of the

" After all, there is nothing like personal experience." merits of the institutions they had recently visited.

And then all three were silent, lost in profound consideration. " Pardon me," at length observed the convict, "but I have had

Shortly afterwards they bade one another adieu, declaring that they some legal training, and it seems to me that you are both gentlemen

had greatly enjoyed their Cabinet Council. of great discernment. Nay, more, I should imagine that your

It was some hours later that a soldier, wearing the uniform of the education is greatly in excess of that possessed by men of the same

Guards, appeared at the Wellington Barracks, and requested that he standing in the professions you appear to have adopted."

might be permitted ,-— —i " Not unlikely,"

to undertake a spell ^^#3%* replied the soldier,

of" sentry go." He j fWWm&S^. • smilingly removing

was not known by f his disguise; '' be-

the Non - commis- wllr /m&t ' cause I happen to

sioned Officer on I j r; I WM be the Secretary of

duty, but as his J \\ ^ewf&fflm^ K§j ; State for War."

papers appeared to ^^BBIli ^ ^info , Lb&^^^BA "And I," said

be correct, permis- ^^^^mmim^ V^iffik c\/\ ft*"**"'* IB the sailor, following

sion was given him j^^SIHIKI~ "Sk ^ T^fflpi , Ul suit, and emerging

to act as substitute ./^^fflHH||r''' 7$J|§1|§ \y$l flk ^jKpllI '( ' hf^Sja^''!,i from his sea-faring

for Private Smith, /^KHHH|| IwH '•.«: f ' \ *vll| 1^S*^S1:" ^ ?arb, which now

who was next on ' /^^^KB^S^ML fwlil MM ' 'ffiwfo** WmSrSli^t ! was found to be

the roster. /i^^^BmmS^SKM lMllfi.ii!Kll w" ,mm§h^. W^f^SHu covering an official

And about the iflBftfllHi SimMM Mi V^'^fff ■ uniformL« And I

same time a person, ^^^^Mi I

wearing the garb of Islmm^ M

a convict, made his - ^Bllllllsl

way to one of Her ^SHiiPP
Majesty's Prisons,
and requested an

interview with the IMP}

Governor. His garb ■ ■ 'flK lift

obtained for him \\;?^wHBl

immediate admis- \$ C<^Hljkj

sion to the precincts \ /'^flHfiflj

of the gaol. *®WB$K

''Well, my man," WsS0W

said the Governor, Nflf§pPf*il

when his visitor ap- ;:*M

peared before him; j j |5M|f|H

"what do you • ^''^^fmm

"If you please, \^M^^^^§TyW ^^-^S^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^KaS^^

Sir," replied the W^^^^^~^^^^^^^w^^'^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

person in the garb rz?75*~** ■^rr

lllWwWh THE PITFALLS OF CULTURE.

obliged if you will Friendly and Sympathetic Footman. "Well, they tell me, Sir, as Mr. Brown, the

permit me to have Dentist round the Corner, is quite at the 'Ead of the Perfession,—in fact, what you

an hour or so at might call 'Principly Forceps,' Sir!"

oakum-picking." [iVo doubt the good man intended to say " Facile princeps," but he didn't.

Absolutely im-

am the First Lord
of the Admiralty."

Before the two
Ministers could re-
cover from their
surprise, the wearer
of the convict's garb
had also divested
himself of a part of
his costume, and
the whole of his
" make-up."

" You see you
need not be ashamed
of my company,"
he observed, with a
smile, " as I am the
Home- Secretary.''

Then the three
Ministers laughed,
and each one of
them insisted that
his particular
branch of the Go-
vernment Service
was better than the
branches of his col-
leagues.

possible," replied the Crown Official, " such luxuries are only allowed " Let us change costumes," suggested the Home-Secretary, " and
to individuals who have been properly introduced to us by a Judge ' try for ourselves. I will become a soldier, you can appear as a
and Jury." j convict, and subsequently we might make a further alteration, and

"I fancied," returned the wearer of the felon's garb, " that an : allow our friend of the Admiralty to try some oakum-picking." But
order from the Home-Secretary would smooth all difficulties." ; both the First Lord and the Secretary of State raised objections.

"Certainly," admitted the Governor, "but such documents are1 "And yet," urged the Home-Secretary, " I do not think you
only supplied to European lioyal Personages, or other foreigners of would find much difference between oakum-picking and sentry-go,
extreme distinction." j and a plank-bed and a hammock on board a torpedo-boat have

I have the requisite document," replied the curiously-garbed [ each great claim to points of similarity

stranger, and he was bowed into a well-appointed cell, and furnished
with the tangled rope for which he had petitioned.
And about the same time a sea-faring man applied to be rated on

" We readily believe you," replied the representative of the War
Office, " and therefore further test is unnecessary."

Quite so," added the greatest liviDg authority on Naval

one of Her Majesty's Ships of War. ' matters ; " and thus I think we can conveniently leave further

" Impossible ! " was the immediate reply of the Captain, who was : personal investigation to such enthusiasts as Mr. Bitchie and his
rather short-tempered. i Private Secretary." And so, perfectly satisfied with the result of

"Nothing is impossible to the Admiralty," said the'sea-faring man; their peregrinations, the Ministers again bade one another adieu,

and, this time, finally separated.

and, if you will glance at this paper, you will see that I have special
permission from Whitehall to be mast-headed, or to undertake some
other naval manoeuvre of a more modern date." A Great Loss to Everybody.—It is a great source of disappoint

Suppressing an exclamation of a somewhat profane character, the ment to Mr. Punch that Grandolph should have declined to be an

Captain gave the required permission, and a few minutes later the Alderman. It may be a question as to whether^ he would have

sea-faring man was mounting (with some difficulty), the quivering enlarged the sphere of his influence, but, by accepting the turtle, it

rungs of a rope-ladder. . is Aldermanically certain that within six months our Grindolph

A few hours after the happening of these events, a weary soldier, would have doubled his weight and increased his circumference.