DOI issue:
March 19, 1892
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0145
136
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March 19, 1892.
" HAIR-CUTTING, SINGEING, AND SHAMPOOING."
(A Sketch in a Hair-dresser's Saloon.)
Scene—A small but well-appointed Saloon, with the usual fittings.
As the Scene opens, its only occupants are a Loquacious Assistant
and a Customer with a more than ordinarily sympathetic manner.
The Loquacious Assistant. No, Sir, we 're free to go the minute
the clock strikes. We 'ye no clearing up or anythink of that sort to
Hie Second Customer removes his hat, revealing a denuded crown,
and thereby causing surprise and a distinct increase of com-
placency in the Grizzled Gentleman, ivho submits himself to the
Loquacious Assistant. The Bald Customer sinks resignedly into
the chair indicated by the Saturnine Operator, feeling apologetic
and conscious that he is not affording a fair scope for that
gentleman''s professional talent. The other Assistant appears to
take a reflected pride in his subject.
The Loq. Ass. {to the Grizzled Customer). Remarkable how some
do, not bein' required to pufform any duties of a menial nature, Sir. parties do keep their 'air, Sir ! Now yours—{with a disparaging
'Ed a little more to the left, Sir . . . Sundays I gen'ally go up the i glance at the Bald Customer's image in the mirror)—yours grows
river. I'm a Member of a Piskytorial Association. I don't do any 1 quite remarkable strong. Do you use anythink for it now ?
fishin', to mention, but I jest carry a rod in my 'and. Railway j The Gr. C. Not I. Leave that to those who are not so well
Comp'ny takes anglers at reduced fares, you see, Sir . . . No, Sir, j protected!
don't stay 'ere all day long. Sometimes the Guv'nor sends me out; The Loq. Ass. I was on'y wondering if you'd been applying our
to wait on parties at their own residences. Pleasant change, Sir P : Rosicrucian Stimulant, Sir, that's all. There's the gentleman next
Ah, you're right there, Sir! There's one lady as_lives in Prague ' door to here—a chemist, he is—and if you'll believe me, he was
Villas, Sir. I've been to do her 'air many a time. {He sighs . gettin' as bald as a robin, and he'd only tried it a fortnight when his
sentimentally.) I did like waitin' on 'er, Sir. Sech a beautiful | 'ed come out all over brustles !
woman she is, too,— . The Gr. C. Brussels,
with'er face so white, -„-_ ,'-—■ —7. Ip Jjf what? Sprouts, eh ?
ah! 'Awkins her name | I wo* f j , ib The Loq. Ass. Hee-
is, and her 'usban' a | f(R0PP5 | illI UlRSUTlNf' " [,1 if | hee! no, Sir, brustles
stockbroker. She was UolldW I ll ' '— $ nftai \l>\ |f like on a brush. But
an actress once, Sir, but .^gp*5^., ' G-f>c</vQ HAIR I amMMi\ § you can afford to 'ave
she give that up when li ' 1 '1 ns £U ' W > I lf™ii | \our laugh, Sir!
she married. Told me /$ ^C-'f ^A?0R5 I K^i- -fT\ 1 .•' . I MU._ The Sat. Ass. {to the
she,'d 'ad to work'ard -____J {jf^O: ^ \\\ ; W 0 f) Bald Customer, with
all her life to support „Ifif/My j^sssT-, =— —p!| j I Wj, ^ withering deference).
her Ma, and she did ^/MSmi^Wh^ " — Ci mW\ I \i ' II Much off, Sir ?
think after she was /T. 5) JftHHBfh -^5=^1 I ] M/^lWMl> I If • The Ji- °' (weaklV
married she was goin' / \i .,^mlMS^S Mm'k'- - ~—""—1 j Wrlif'mWl WW/// thinking to propitiate
to enjoy herself — but / X 4* V Iff llwfflf MmS/l"-— I Pf!! 1 i\mw//// by making light of his
she 'adn't! Ah, she fV 1 ^ i^WI ''flllwff'1^^^ WilllJlV ' wWl/M infirmity). Well, there
was a nice lady, Sir; "'W I &mUmW§ ■Kpt&==s=«s4NE^ M i Wmm Hi mi /'/'>■ isn't much on, is
she'd got her 'air in ^-1^fllM fJP^^fc^^fefiwF' Willi there?
sech a tangle it took me _ I I HtH I m^MVY^^ BE' f^Sgt^Ai^ Wl'h The S' A' fr^ng a
three weeks to get it ^^JffiiB # iuMiwll miW^Mk^ ' •- 'vj!^-ir'J "~*~^*^^^^3^/////// mean advantage). Well,
right! I showed her ^ / ! IlPWii^ ^";f"i~" \\ ^ W^^iL Sir, it wouldn't be. a
three noo ways of doin' / fflfn 'JL CA 8m)________ very long job numberin'
up her 'air, and she %W -'Q WSK//\^ ^PWfe'"^~?==: ^Ifl W J all the'airs on yowr'ed,
says to me, " What a I Ml \ V^uM/x \; \\^sT :'-z"'—P^ J/^^M-^^Ws cert'nly! {Severely, as
clever young man you W# ' fBiWi life ^^111^' ^T^^l Isggp^^-Ji'', one reproaching him for
are'" Her very words, frffe ,mBml/ In I mt^W^^-^^^^^^W?^^1^^^^^^^ carelessness.) You 'ave
Sir! Trim the" ends of ~; ( } M^^'im%k. ■ ^^^m^^^^W^^^^^^^ been losin'- your- 'air!.
your moustache, Sir? ^S^^^mm II /!l»P%\iLi^v \ \^^^/////a/ ^ Puts me in mind of
Thankee, Sir. Yes, she " iTfflHF v' 1( 1WtoM\ V ^mM^m what the poet says in
was a charmin'woman. illl ttttW i\ \', lAV\lll\V ' 'Amlet. " Oh, what a
She 'ad three parrots f lfW P HI IwllV ^ ^pPfcl^//// - fallin' ofE! " if you'!1
in the room with 'er, --M]MB /^Sll\l» :'VWVV% ' \^^m^^^////A/// ■ excuse me, Sir!
joyed (goin there, Sir; WS'SttR ^^ri^mW^^^^^^s^C^^' ^ W^U^^^ sensitive squirm). Oh,
yes, Sir. Ain't been - _ mflJm f^W I K« \ ^"^^^^^^^^^^t^^ Mmem^. # don't apologise — I'm
for ever sech a while imIM W> |m|\t ^'-^S^^^^^^^^yO^' fkWass$M^/$/ «sec? to it, you know!
now, Sir. I think |f If f WMPl^s^^^^^^^C^ '^flflH^^S rAe ^ ^- Ah>. Sir,
of callin' again and M/jb^L . ^w^^tli^^^^^^^^^m%emW^m^^^- they do say the wind's
pertendin' I'd forgot a |»;WfUf^l^l^^^^^^^^:'-^^^^^^^^^P-^W^^k.W^^/^^- tempered to the shorn
comb, Sir, but f done hp ■ jim!,IYm^m^l^^^^^f^^^^^^''' ^tkSBI^^^^^^ lamb so as he can't see
that once, and 1 'm r< !fM\u\\W^ 'imself as other's see
afraid it wouldn't do ^ '' '' JU^BM^^^^^^^^'4^- '^^S^^m 'im- But what j/om
twice, would it, Sir? / /, ;, ^Kn^^^^^^^fC/ J^&gSuBBM&ffl^JZ/^ ought to'ave is a little
Sixteen her number is r \J " -*^^^^^^/fe^r%. -^-^ //// toopy. Make'em so as
—a sweet number, Sir! ' ' ' ™lp\ /:/jw/ ^^^^^^^^^^ you couldn't tell it
Limewash or brillian- ^\ from natural 'air now-
tine, Sir?... And I lou >a4>e been losin' your ?a:r !•» a(}ays!
know 'er maid and her man, too ; oh, she keeps a grand 'ouse, Sir ! [The Bald Customer feebly declines this meretricious adornment.
{Observing that the Sympathetic Customer is gradually growing red The Loq. Ass. {to his subject). Know Mr. Paris Pattehtoit of the
in the face and getting hysterical.) Towel too tight for you, Sir ? ; Proscenium Theatre, Sir ? 'E's 'ad to call in our Guv'nor, Sir. _ 'Is
Allow me; thank you, Sir. {Here two fresh Customers enter.) 'air's comin, off, Sir, dreadful, Sir. The Guv'nor's been tryin'a
R,eady for you in one moment, Gentlemen. The other Assistant is noo wash on his 'ed.
downstairs 'aving his tea, but he '11 be up directly | The Gr. C. Ha, poor beggar ! Wash doing it any good ?
[The two fresh Customers ivatch one another suspiciously, after the \ The Loq. Ass. {demurely). That I can't tell you, Sir; but it 'as a
manner of Britons. The first, who is elderly, removes his hat very agreeable perfume.
and displays an abundance of strong grizzled hair, which he'' 'The S. A. I think I've taken off about as much as you can spare, Sir!
The Gr. C. {with a note of triumph). Look here, you know,
there's a lot more to come off here—won't be missed, eh ?
The Loq. Ass. No, Sir, you've an uncommon thick 'ed—of 'air, I
surveys complacently in a mirror. The second, a younger man,
see?ns reluctant to uncover until absolutely obliged to do so.
The Grizzled Customer {to the Other Customer, as his natural self-
r/'lDT/t/lT'lA*!
satisfaction overcomes his reserve). 'Shtonishing how fast one's hair mean, of course !
does grow. It's not three weeks since I had a close crop. Great The S. A. If you'11 take my advice, you'11'ave yours singed, Sir.
nuisance, eh ? The B. C. {dejectedly). Why, think it's any use ?
The Other Customer {tvith evident embarrassment). Er—oh, yea— The S. A. No doubt of that, Sir. Look at the way they singe a
uite so, I—I daresay. :orse's legs. [The Bald Customer yields, convinced by this argument
I
He takes up_ a back number of " Punch,'" and reads the advertise-
ments tvith deep interest. Meanwhile, the Loquacious Assistant
has bowed out the Sympathetic Customer, and touched a bell. A
Saturnine Assistant appears, still masticating bread-and-butter.
The Gr. C. No singeing or any nonsense of that sort for me, mind!
[They are shampooed simultaneously.
The B. C. {piteously, from his basin). Th—that's c-cold enough,
thanks!
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March 19, 1892.
" HAIR-CUTTING, SINGEING, AND SHAMPOOING."
(A Sketch in a Hair-dresser's Saloon.)
Scene—A small but well-appointed Saloon, with the usual fittings.
As the Scene opens, its only occupants are a Loquacious Assistant
and a Customer with a more than ordinarily sympathetic manner.
The Loquacious Assistant. No, Sir, we 're free to go the minute
the clock strikes. We 'ye no clearing up or anythink of that sort to
Hie Second Customer removes his hat, revealing a denuded crown,
and thereby causing surprise and a distinct increase of com-
placency in the Grizzled Gentleman, ivho submits himself to the
Loquacious Assistant. The Bald Customer sinks resignedly into
the chair indicated by the Saturnine Operator, feeling apologetic
and conscious that he is not affording a fair scope for that
gentleman''s professional talent. The other Assistant appears to
take a reflected pride in his subject.
The Loq. Ass. {to the Grizzled Customer). Remarkable how some
do, not bein' required to pufform any duties of a menial nature, Sir. parties do keep their 'air, Sir ! Now yours—{with a disparaging
'Ed a little more to the left, Sir . . . Sundays I gen'ally go up the i glance at the Bald Customer's image in the mirror)—yours grows
river. I'm a Member of a Piskytorial Association. I don't do any 1 quite remarkable strong. Do you use anythink for it now ?
fishin', to mention, but I jest carry a rod in my 'and. Railway j The Gr. C. Not I. Leave that to those who are not so well
Comp'ny takes anglers at reduced fares, you see, Sir . . . No, Sir, j protected!
don't stay 'ere all day long. Sometimes the Guv'nor sends me out; The Loq. Ass. I was on'y wondering if you'd been applying our
to wait on parties at their own residences. Pleasant change, Sir P : Rosicrucian Stimulant, Sir, that's all. There's the gentleman next
Ah, you're right there, Sir! There's one lady as_lives in Prague ' door to here—a chemist, he is—and if you'll believe me, he was
Villas, Sir. I've been to do her 'air many a time. {He sighs . gettin' as bald as a robin, and he'd only tried it a fortnight when his
sentimentally.) I did like waitin' on 'er, Sir. Sech a beautiful | 'ed come out all over brustles !
woman she is, too,— . The Gr. C. Brussels,
with'er face so white, -„-_ ,'-—■ —7. Ip Jjf what? Sprouts, eh ?
ah! 'Awkins her name | I wo* f j , ib The Loq. Ass. Hee-
is, and her 'usban' a | f(R0PP5 | illI UlRSUTlNf' " [,1 if | hee! no, Sir, brustles
stockbroker. She was UolldW I ll ' '— $ nftai \l>\ |f like on a brush. But
an actress once, Sir, but .^gp*5^., ' G-f>c</vQ HAIR I amMMi\ § you can afford to 'ave
she give that up when li ' 1 '1 ns £U ' W > I lf™ii | \our laugh, Sir!
she married. Told me /$ ^C-'f ^A?0R5 I K^i- -fT\ 1 .•' . I MU._ The Sat. Ass. {to the
she,'d 'ad to work'ard -____J {jf^O: ^ \\\ ; W 0 f) Bald Customer, with
all her life to support „Ifif/My j^sssT-, =— —p!| j I Wj, ^ withering deference).
her Ma, and she did ^/MSmi^Wh^ " — Ci mW\ I \i ' II Much off, Sir ?
think after she was /T. 5) JftHHBfh -^5=^1 I ] M/^lWMl> I If • The Ji- °' (weaklV
married she was goin' / \i .,^mlMS^S Mm'k'- - ~—""—1 j Wrlif'mWl WW/// thinking to propitiate
to enjoy herself — but / X 4* V Iff llwfflf MmS/l"-— I Pf!! 1 i\mw//// by making light of his
she 'adn't! Ah, she fV 1 ^ i^WI ''flllwff'1^^^ WilllJlV ' wWl/M infirmity). Well, there
was a nice lady, Sir; "'W I &mUmW§ ■Kpt&==s=«s4NE^ M i Wmm Hi mi /'/'>■ isn't much on, is
she'd got her 'air in ^-1^fllM fJP^^fc^^fefiwF' Willi there?
sech a tangle it took me _ I I HtH I m^MVY^^ BE' f^Sgt^Ai^ Wl'h The S' A' fr^ng a
three weeks to get it ^^JffiiB # iuMiwll miW^Mk^ ' •- 'vj!^-ir'J "~*~^*^^^^3^/////// mean advantage). Well,
right! I showed her ^ / ! IlPWii^ ^";f"i~" \\ ^ W^^iL Sir, it wouldn't be. a
three noo ways of doin' / fflfn 'JL CA 8m)________ very long job numberin'
up her 'air, and she %W -'Q WSK//\^ ^PWfe'"^~?==: ^Ifl W J all the'airs on yowr'ed,
says to me, " What a I Ml \ V^uM/x \; \\^sT :'-z"'—P^ J/^^M-^^Ws cert'nly! {Severely, as
clever young man you W# ' fBiWi life ^^111^' ^T^^l Isggp^^-Ji'', one reproaching him for
are'" Her very words, frffe ,mBml/ In I mt^W^^-^^^^^^W?^^1^^^^^^^ carelessness.) You 'ave
Sir! Trim the" ends of ~; ( } M^^'im%k. ■ ^^^m^^^^W^^^^^^^ been losin'- your- 'air!.
your moustache, Sir? ^S^^^mm II /!l»P%\iLi^v \ \^^^/////a/ ^ Puts me in mind of
Thankee, Sir. Yes, she " iTfflHF v' 1( 1WtoM\ V ^mM^m what the poet says in
was a charmin'woman. illl ttttW i\ \', lAV\lll\V ' 'Amlet. " Oh, what a
She 'ad three parrots f lfW P HI IwllV ^ ^pPfcl^//// - fallin' ofE! " if you'!1
in the room with 'er, --M]MB /^Sll\l» :'VWVV% ' \^^m^^^////A/// ■ excuse me, Sir!
joyed (goin there, Sir; WS'SttR ^^ri^mW^^^^^^s^C^^' ^ W^U^^^ sensitive squirm). Oh,
yes, Sir. Ain't been - _ mflJm f^W I K« \ ^"^^^^^^^^^^t^^ Mmem^. # don't apologise — I'm
for ever sech a while imIM W> |m|\t ^'-^S^^^^^^^^yO^' fkWass$M^/$/ «sec? to it, you know!
now, Sir. I think |f If f WMPl^s^^^^^^^C^ '^flflH^^S rAe ^ ^- Ah>. Sir,
of callin' again and M/jb^L . ^w^^tli^^^^^^^^^m%emW^m^^^- they do say the wind's
pertendin' I'd forgot a |»;WfUf^l^l^^^^^^^^:'-^^^^^^^^^P-^W^^k.W^^/^^- tempered to the shorn
comb, Sir, but f done hp ■ jim!,IYm^m^l^^^^^f^^^^^^''' ^tkSBI^^^^^^ lamb so as he can't see
that once, and 1 'm r< !fM\u\\W^ 'imself as other's see
afraid it wouldn't do ^ '' '' JU^BM^^^^^^^^'4^- '^^S^^m 'im- But what j/om
twice, would it, Sir? / /, ;, ^Kn^^^^^^^fC/ J^&gSuBBM&ffl^JZ/^ ought to'ave is a little
Sixteen her number is r \J " -*^^^^^^/fe^r%. -^-^ //// toopy. Make'em so as
—a sweet number, Sir! ' ' ' ™lp\ /:/jw/ ^^^^^^^^^^ you couldn't tell it
Limewash or brillian- ^\ from natural 'air now-
tine, Sir?... And I lou >a4>e been losin' your ?a:r !•» a(}ays!
know 'er maid and her man, too ; oh, she keeps a grand 'ouse, Sir ! [The Bald Customer feebly declines this meretricious adornment.
{Observing that the Sympathetic Customer is gradually growing red The Loq. Ass. {to his subject). Know Mr. Paris Pattehtoit of the
in the face and getting hysterical.) Towel too tight for you, Sir ? ; Proscenium Theatre, Sir ? 'E's 'ad to call in our Guv'nor, Sir. _ 'Is
Allow me; thank you, Sir. {Here two fresh Customers enter.) 'air's comin, off, Sir, dreadful, Sir. The Guv'nor's been tryin'a
R,eady for you in one moment, Gentlemen. The other Assistant is noo wash on his 'ed.
downstairs 'aving his tea, but he '11 be up directly | The Gr. C. Ha, poor beggar ! Wash doing it any good ?
[The two fresh Customers ivatch one another suspiciously, after the \ The Loq. Ass. {demurely). That I can't tell you, Sir; but it 'as a
manner of Britons. The first, who is elderly, removes his hat very agreeable perfume.
and displays an abundance of strong grizzled hair, which he'' 'The S. A. I think I've taken off about as much as you can spare, Sir!
The Gr. C. {with a note of triumph). Look here, you know,
there's a lot more to come off here—won't be missed, eh ?
The Loq. Ass. No, Sir, you've an uncommon thick 'ed—of 'air, I
surveys complacently in a mirror. The second, a younger man,
see?ns reluctant to uncover until absolutely obliged to do so.
The Grizzled Customer {to the Other Customer, as his natural self-
r/'lDT/t/lT'lA*!
satisfaction overcomes his reserve). 'Shtonishing how fast one's hair mean, of course !
does grow. It's not three weeks since I had a close crop. Great The S. A. If you'11 take my advice, you'11'ave yours singed, Sir.
nuisance, eh ? The B. C. {dejectedly). Why, think it's any use ?
The Other Customer {tvith evident embarrassment). Er—oh, yea— The S. A. No doubt of that, Sir. Look at the way they singe a
uite so, I—I daresay. :orse's legs. [The Bald Customer yields, convinced by this argument
I
He takes up_ a back number of " Punch,'" and reads the advertise-
ments tvith deep interest. Meanwhile, the Loquacious Assistant
has bowed out the Sympathetic Customer, and touched a bell. A
Saturnine Assistant appears, still masticating bread-and-butter.
The Gr. C. No singeing or any nonsense of that sort for me, mind!
[They are shampooed simultaneously.
The B. C. {piteously, from his basin). Th—that's c-cold enough,
thanks!