DOI Heft:
March 19, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0153
144 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March 19, 1892.
writing letters, chatting in Lobby, gossipping in Smoke-room; the
few present admirably succeed in disguising terror that must possess
them as Banbury, in solemn voice, utters his lamentation.
" Hanbury," said Craig, looking across the House at tall figure
below Gangway, "reminds me of the old party that mst Lochiel,
and told him his prospects in the next war were at least doubtful,—
' Lochiel, Lochiel, beware of the day
"When the Lowlands shall meet thee in battle-array.' "
Lochiel Stanhope recks no more than the Northern Chieftain;
makes speech nearly two hours long, proving to empty, but inte-
rested Benches, that never since Peninsular "War had Great Britain
an Army so large or so fully equipped. When midnight struck,
the few Members present shook themselves, yawned, and went
home. Business done.—In Committee on Army Estimates.
Tuesday.—Never saw in the flesh procession of Russian Convicts
starting on their journey to Siberia. Have read about it, though; have
even seen pictures thereof. The most saddening and soul-depressing
of these came back to mind just now, when Puleston, Pelly and
Burdett-Coutts forlornly filed forth at command of Chairman of
Committees, amid cheers of heartless Opposition. If they 'd only
been a little more ragged in appearance, and, above all, if they
had been connected by leg-chain, illusion would have been complete.
Members on Front Benches, as they passed them, wearily faring
forth, could not have resisted natural impulse to feel in their waist-
coat pocket for a kopec or two to bestow upon the unfortunates.
Mr. Swift MacNeill's little joke.
It was the suddenness of the sentence, the swift falling of the blow,
that made it so cruelly heavy. Last Friday these three Members had
supported a vote subsidising East Africa Co. in matter of preliminary
expenses of railway through their territory. Someone had dis-
covered they were pecuniarily interested in undertaking. To-day
Swift MacNeill raised the question of parliamentary law in such
cases. Moved Resolution that vote of three Members be disallowed.
Nothing could exceed gentleness of _ MacNeill's demeanour.
Rather in sorrow than in anger he moved in the matter, anxious, as
all Irish Members are, for purity of Parliamentary practice and
sanctity of constitutional principles. Almost blubbered in Burdett-
Coutts's waistcoat; embraced Pelly and Puleston in comprehensive
smile of amity.
Encouraged by this attitude, the three Members assumed easy,
almost jaunty, manner. True, Puleston admitted he would not have
done it if he'd thought anyone would have made a row about it—
'' as the little boy said when he was being spanked for putting his
fingers in the jam-pot," observed Marjoribanks, sotto voce. Burdett-
Coetts almost haughty in his defiance of the descendant of the Uncle
of Jonathan Swift, Dean of St. Patrick's.
Pelly pensive in manner and enigmatical in allusion; felt it
particularly hard thus to be placed in the dock, as if he were an
Irish County Councillor under Prince Arthur's new Bill. Only last
Friday, in debate preceding the very Division now under discussion,
ho had delivered an Address which disclosed intimate acquaintance
with topographical bearings of rarely trodden wilds in Central Africa.
Had shown how an Agent of East Africa Company, setting forth
from So-and-so, had, after perilous passage, reached So-on. After a
night of broken rest, his pillow soothed by the roar of Grandolph's
nine lions, he had set out again. Crossing the River So-forth he
wandered for hours, carrying the flag of his country through the
limitless plains of Etcetera.
House listened entranced, whilst Pelly hurried them from So-on
to So-forth.
"Excellent speech," said the Squire of Malwood, himself not
unfamiliar with land-surveying; "but the country seems a little
monotonously named."
"It's not that," cried Pelly, interrupting ; "the fact is, I can't
pronounce the names in the despatches, and call them So-on."
House delighted with this explanation; Pelly found himself at
one bound in front rank of Parliamentary orators. This only last
Friday ; to-day called upon to defend himself from charge of break-
ing written law of Parliament. Bad this, but worse to come.
When Pelly's pensive voice died away, Courtney rose from Chair
and sternly said, "In accordance with practice of the House, the
three Hon. Members will now withdraw." So they strode forth,
clothed with innocence. Puleston first, with ghastly smile on his
face; Burdett-Coutts next, wondering what they would think of
this in Stratton Street; Pelly bringing up the rear, the forlornest
file that ever passed between ranks of jeering spectators, slowly
making their way from So-on to So-forth. Busi7iess done— None.
Thursday.—" The Leadership isn't all beer and skittles, is it?" I
said to Prince Arthur just now, trying to put the best face on a
melancholy business.
" No," he said, shortly, "and it isn't public business at all."
Quite true. What officers in command of sham-fights call "the
general idea" of the Sitting to-night, was—questions beginning at
half-past three ; over probably at four ; House in Committee ; take
up Army Estimates ; peg away at them till midnight; then "Who
goes home ? " Time-table of what actually took place slightly, but
firmly different. House met at three ; prayers, which appropriately
prefaced Henry Fowler's motion to permit Salvation Army to go
its own way on quiet Sabbaths at Eastbourne. Debated this till
twenty minutes past six, the Soli-
citor - General heartily joining
in the service; then questions,
seventy or eighty of them, not
seven or eight of public interest,
the rest of character that might be
raised on dull days in Vestry-haU.
At half-past seven, time to dress
for dinner. Still, Members think
they 'U just wait and see business
commenced. " Instead of which,"
as the Judge said,
up gets Swift
MacNeill, asking
permission to move
Adjournment of
House in order to
discuss famine in
India, and short-
comings of In-
dian Government.
Speaker invites
those who sup-
port application
to rise in their
places. Gentle-
men below the The Salvationist Solicitor-General.
Gangway, with
hearts bleeding for famished fellow-creatures in far-off Ind (subject
reminds them, by the way, that dinner is nearly ready), leap to
their feet. Twice the forty necessary thus forthcoming ; leave given,
and Swift MacNeill proceeds to open his budget. Then strange
thing happens. The eighty Gentlemen who sprang up to secure
hearing for MacNeill, being on their legs, conclude that, as it's so
near dinner-time, scarcely worth while resuming their seat; so they
bundle forth, MacNeill, somewhat ungratefully (for they had
secured his opportunity) urging them to "be off, if they didn't
want to hear about the sufferings of their fellow-creatures."
At ten o'clock MacNeill episode closed. Prince Arthur moved,
with intent to expedite business, a Resolution taking Report of
Supply after midnight. Talked on this till twenty minutes to twelve.
Business reached at last, but since Debate closes at midnight, no
time to do anything. Committee of Supply accordingly postponed,
and Members begin chatting about Gresham College, admitting in
course of conversation that there is nothing to talk about, since
Government have adopted suggestion of objectors to scheme.
Business done.—None.
Friday.—MacNeill the Avenger to the front again, with his
Motion about the Siberian Exiles. "Jejimy" Lowther, in most
judicial manner, supports Motion, that votes of Pelly, Puleston
and Burdett-Coutts on Mombasa Affair shall be struck out.
Prince Arthur argues on other side; Mr. G. throws weight of his
authority into scale against the Exiles; Jokim feebly attempts to
reply. On Division, in full House, Government defeated by five
votes. MacNeill's smile, as he announced the figures, simply
enormous. " At first I thought it was an earthquake," said
Stanhope, shuddering. Nerves shattered by second defeat of
Government in the week. Business done.—Looks as if the Govern-
ment's was—very nearly.
NOTICE.—Kejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Primed Matter, Drawings, or Picture! oi any description, wiU
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To ihxs ruls
there will be no exception.
writing letters, chatting in Lobby, gossipping in Smoke-room; the
few present admirably succeed in disguising terror that must possess
them as Banbury, in solemn voice, utters his lamentation.
" Hanbury," said Craig, looking across the House at tall figure
below Gangway, "reminds me of the old party that mst Lochiel,
and told him his prospects in the next war were at least doubtful,—
' Lochiel, Lochiel, beware of the day
"When the Lowlands shall meet thee in battle-array.' "
Lochiel Stanhope recks no more than the Northern Chieftain;
makes speech nearly two hours long, proving to empty, but inte-
rested Benches, that never since Peninsular "War had Great Britain
an Army so large or so fully equipped. When midnight struck,
the few Members present shook themselves, yawned, and went
home. Business done.—In Committee on Army Estimates.
Tuesday.—Never saw in the flesh procession of Russian Convicts
starting on their journey to Siberia. Have read about it, though; have
even seen pictures thereof. The most saddening and soul-depressing
of these came back to mind just now, when Puleston, Pelly and
Burdett-Coutts forlornly filed forth at command of Chairman of
Committees, amid cheers of heartless Opposition. If they 'd only
been a little more ragged in appearance, and, above all, if they
had been connected by leg-chain, illusion would have been complete.
Members on Front Benches, as they passed them, wearily faring
forth, could not have resisted natural impulse to feel in their waist-
coat pocket for a kopec or two to bestow upon the unfortunates.
Mr. Swift MacNeill's little joke.
It was the suddenness of the sentence, the swift falling of the blow,
that made it so cruelly heavy. Last Friday these three Members had
supported a vote subsidising East Africa Co. in matter of preliminary
expenses of railway through their territory. Someone had dis-
covered they were pecuniarily interested in undertaking. To-day
Swift MacNeill raised the question of parliamentary law in such
cases. Moved Resolution that vote of three Members be disallowed.
Nothing could exceed gentleness of _ MacNeill's demeanour.
Rather in sorrow than in anger he moved in the matter, anxious, as
all Irish Members are, for purity of Parliamentary practice and
sanctity of constitutional principles. Almost blubbered in Burdett-
Coutts's waistcoat; embraced Pelly and Puleston in comprehensive
smile of amity.
Encouraged by this attitude, the three Members assumed easy,
almost jaunty, manner. True, Puleston admitted he would not have
done it if he'd thought anyone would have made a row about it—
'' as the little boy said when he was being spanked for putting his
fingers in the jam-pot," observed Marjoribanks, sotto voce. Burdett-
Coetts almost haughty in his defiance of the descendant of the Uncle
of Jonathan Swift, Dean of St. Patrick's.
Pelly pensive in manner and enigmatical in allusion; felt it
particularly hard thus to be placed in the dock, as if he were an
Irish County Councillor under Prince Arthur's new Bill. Only last
Friday, in debate preceding the very Division now under discussion,
ho had delivered an Address which disclosed intimate acquaintance
with topographical bearings of rarely trodden wilds in Central Africa.
Had shown how an Agent of East Africa Company, setting forth
from So-and-so, had, after perilous passage, reached So-on. After a
night of broken rest, his pillow soothed by the roar of Grandolph's
nine lions, he had set out again. Crossing the River So-forth he
wandered for hours, carrying the flag of his country through the
limitless plains of Etcetera.
House listened entranced, whilst Pelly hurried them from So-on
to So-forth.
"Excellent speech," said the Squire of Malwood, himself not
unfamiliar with land-surveying; "but the country seems a little
monotonously named."
"It's not that," cried Pelly, interrupting ; "the fact is, I can't
pronounce the names in the despatches, and call them So-on."
House delighted with this explanation; Pelly found himself at
one bound in front rank of Parliamentary orators. This only last
Friday ; to-day called upon to defend himself from charge of break-
ing written law of Parliament. Bad this, but worse to come.
When Pelly's pensive voice died away, Courtney rose from Chair
and sternly said, "In accordance with practice of the House, the
three Hon. Members will now withdraw." So they strode forth,
clothed with innocence. Puleston first, with ghastly smile on his
face; Burdett-Coutts next, wondering what they would think of
this in Stratton Street; Pelly bringing up the rear, the forlornest
file that ever passed between ranks of jeering spectators, slowly
making their way from So-on to So-forth. Busi7iess done— None.
Thursday.—" The Leadership isn't all beer and skittles, is it?" I
said to Prince Arthur just now, trying to put the best face on a
melancholy business.
" No," he said, shortly, "and it isn't public business at all."
Quite true. What officers in command of sham-fights call "the
general idea" of the Sitting to-night, was—questions beginning at
half-past three ; over probably at four ; House in Committee ; take
up Army Estimates ; peg away at them till midnight; then "Who
goes home ? " Time-table of what actually took place slightly, but
firmly different. House met at three ; prayers, which appropriately
prefaced Henry Fowler's motion to permit Salvation Army to go
its own way on quiet Sabbaths at Eastbourne. Debated this till
twenty minutes past six, the Soli-
citor - General heartily joining
in the service; then questions,
seventy or eighty of them, not
seven or eight of public interest,
the rest of character that might be
raised on dull days in Vestry-haU.
At half-past seven, time to dress
for dinner. Still, Members think
they 'U just wait and see business
commenced. " Instead of which,"
as the Judge said,
up gets Swift
MacNeill, asking
permission to move
Adjournment of
House in order to
discuss famine in
India, and short-
comings of In-
dian Government.
Speaker invites
those who sup-
port application
to rise in their
places. Gentle-
men below the The Salvationist Solicitor-General.
Gangway, with
hearts bleeding for famished fellow-creatures in far-off Ind (subject
reminds them, by the way, that dinner is nearly ready), leap to
their feet. Twice the forty necessary thus forthcoming ; leave given,
and Swift MacNeill proceeds to open his budget. Then strange
thing happens. The eighty Gentlemen who sprang up to secure
hearing for MacNeill, being on their legs, conclude that, as it's so
near dinner-time, scarcely worth while resuming their seat; so they
bundle forth, MacNeill, somewhat ungratefully (for they had
secured his opportunity) urging them to "be off, if they didn't
want to hear about the sufferings of their fellow-creatures."
At ten o'clock MacNeill episode closed. Prince Arthur moved,
with intent to expedite business, a Resolution taking Report of
Supply after midnight. Talked on this till twenty minutes to twelve.
Business reached at last, but since Debate closes at midnight, no
time to do anything. Committee of Supply accordingly postponed,
and Members begin chatting about Gresham College, admitting in
course of conversation that there is nothing to talk about, since
Government have adopted suggestion of objectors to scheme.
Business done.—None.
Friday.—MacNeill the Avenger to the front again, with his
Motion about the Siberian Exiles. "Jejimy" Lowther, in most
judicial manner, supports Motion, that votes of Pelly, Puleston
and Burdett-Coutts on Mombasa Affair shall be struck out.
Prince Arthur argues on other side; Mr. G. throws weight of his
authority into scale against the Exiles; Jokim feebly attempts to
reply. On Division, in full House, Government defeated by five
votes. MacNeill's smile, as he announced the figures, simply
enormous. " At first I thought it was an earthquake," said
Stanhope, shuddering. Nerves shattered by second defeat of
Government in the week. Business done.—Looks as if the Govern-
ment's was—very nearly.
NOTICE.—Kejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Primed Matter, Drawings, or Picture! oi any description, wiU
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To ihxs ruls
there will be no exception.