Punch (102.1892)

150 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March 26, 1892.

i1.' i.....i 7

STUDIES IN ANIMAL LIFE.

THE GOORMONG. {Epicuri de Grege Porcus. British Isles.)
Mr. Huggins. ' What a 'eavenly Dinner it was !" Mr. JBuggins. " B'lieve yer ! Mykes yer wish yer was born 'Oller !"

SPRING TIME IN LEAP YEAR;

Or, the Jolly Bathers.

First Jolly Bother {singing, quaveringly) :—

Spring-'s delights are now revi-i-i-vi-i-i-ng,
Verdant leaflets deck each spr-a-ay !

Second Jolly Bather {impatiently). Don't, Arthur, make that
row! B-r-r-r! {Shivers.) Spring's delights, indeed! _ And as to
the "verdant leaflets" (unless you mean election squibs), where
are they ?

First Ditto. Ah, "verdant leaflets" not a bad name for Financial
Reform tracts, et id genus omne. Touch of your old satirical Satur-
day-Re viewish style there, Nunky!

Second Ditto {hastily). Oh, bother! "What are we here for ?

First Ditto {coolly). Why, to bathe, I presume.

Second Ditto. Bah!_ One would Lthink, Arthur., we belonged to
that society of lunatics who make a point of taking a matutinal
plunge in the Serpentine every morning, all the year round, even if
they have to break the ice to do it.' Ineffable idiots ! [Curls up.

First Ditto. Well, we may as well put a good face on it, Uncle.

[Grimaces.

Second Ditto. Ah, yes, you can say so—-at your age, Arthur.
I like my morning tub in my bath-room—with the chill off.

[ Wraps his towel round his neck.

First Ditto. {Sings again, tremolo):—

Why linger shivering on the brink,
And fear to launch away F

Second Ditto {sharply). Why, you're at it again, Arthur! And
a Conventicler's hymn, too, this time. I'm a-a-shamed of you.

First Ditto. Ah ! that's what Labouchere, O'Kelly, Conybeare,
and Company say! J don't mind; in fact, as I told 'em, I rather
like it. Does me a world of good.

Second Ditto {admiringly). Ah! you have got a nerve, Arthur.
I will say that for you. Still, you've been giving them something
to " guy " you about lately, you know.

First Ditto {sharply). Ah! have 1? Well, "I can assure you
that I am the last person in the world 'to object to a process from
which I have profited so much."

Second Ditto. Oh, yes. that was all very well for them, over
yonder. In fact, I own it was rather neatly put.

First Ditto {slily). Didn't "lack finish," was sufficiently "at?
unguem," eh, Nunky?

Second Ditto {moodily). Ah! what do you youngsters know about
those fine old fighting days ? I didn't love Dizzy, but he was a neat
hand with the foils, boy.

First Ditto. Especially in a bout with a friend,—with the buttons
off. But I say, this isn't bathing, you know !

Second Ditto. No. {Eyeing the stream distastefully). Hadn't we
better postpone the pleasure till a little later in the season, Arthur.
When those " Spring's delights " of which you melodiously twangle
are a leetle more en evidence.

First Ditto {pipes). Hawthorn buds give joyful tidings.
Welcome, youths, 'tis bright bath-day!

Second Ditto. Ah ! if we 're here to do the Eclogue business,
Strephon can take his turn, as well as Corydon. [Sings.
Let us plunge into the ri-i-i-v-e-e-r!
Leave our vesture on the bank !
First Ditto. Bless me, Strephon, how you shi-i-v-e-e-r !
Second Dittto. 'Tis like a fishmonger's tank! >
First Ditto. Pooh! 'tis lovely—when you 're in it;

One bold header, and 'tis done!
Second Ditto. Ah, quite so, but—wait a minute,
Till I've warmed me with a run.
That will stir my circulation ;
For the moment I am " friz."
First Ditto. Magnifique ! my dear relation;

But, you'll own, it is not " biz."
Both. We must o-o-o-ow-n it is not " biz ! "
Second Ditto. Well, no, I suppose it isn't, Arthur. By the way,
what's that row behind there ?

First Ditto, {looking). By Jove! it's that Gladstone gang!
They've tracked us ! {Sings)—

They 're after us ! They 're after us!
We 're the individuals they require.
Second Ditto, {sardonically). What a lyric repertoire you have,
Arthur I Old English glee, Puritan psalmody, Music-hall song, all
come equally well to you, it seems. But those roughs mean mis-
chief, Nephew mine!
First Ditto. Doubtless ! They always do. And they've done