Punch (102.1892)

April 2, 1892.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

161

He insists on going down, I hold hard on him, and refuse
line. But he leaps, and then, well he will have it; down
he rushes, I after him, over the stones, scrambling along
the rocky face ; great heavens ! the top joint of the rod is
loose ; I did not tie it on, thought it would hold well
enough. But down it runs, right down the line ; it must
be touching the fish. It is ; he does not like it, he jiggers
like a mad thing, rushes across the Big Pool, nearly on to
the opposite bank. Why won't the line run ? The line
is entangled in my boot-lace. He is careering about; I
feel that I am trembling like a leaf. There, I knew it
would happen ; he is off with my last casting-line, hook
and all. A beauty he was, clear as silver and fresh from
the sea. Well, there is nothing for it but a walk back to
the house. I have lost one fly-book, two hooks, a couple
of casting-lines, three salmon, a top joint, and I have
torn a great hole in my coat. On changing my dress
before lunch, I find my fly-book in my breast pocket,
where I had not thought of looking for it somehow. Then
the rain comes, and there is not another fishing day in my
fortnight. Still, it decidedly was " one crowded hour of
glorious life," while it lasted. The other men caught
four or five salmon apiece ; it is their Red Letter Day.
It is marked in black in my calendar.

TOOTING.

[" It is a noteworthy fact that while debates have been
languishing at AVestminster, at Tooting there have been Mem-
bers enough to ' make a House' any day during the past fort-
night, so keen an interest is the 'Royal and Aneient' game
exciting."—Daily Telegraph.]

Where 's the fun
In that f Let's run
Off to Golf at Tooting !

So M.P.'s are " scooting,"
On-the-gay-galoot-ing;
Cut the House
(It shows their nous)
For the Links at Tooting !

There is joy in shooting,
Wine-ing or cherooting,
Dinners, Moors,
Weeds—all are bores,
Compared with Golf at Toot-
ing:!

What's the use of hoot-
ing.

Or cir-eum-lo-cuting ?

M.P.'s off

To play at Golf.
All the way to Tooting !

Petty points Pat's moot-
ing!

Char.ces not computing,

M.P. slips,

(Despite the Whips)
Off to Golf at Tooting !

Landlords may be looting,
Tenants may be shooting ;

COM3SDERATION FOR OTHERS.

Tommy. "I had such a bad Dream last night, Grandpapa!''
The Admiral. "Tell it me, Tommy.''

Tommy. "Oh no ! It would only frighten You as it frightened Me !"

"BEYOXD THE DREAMS OF AVARICE."

[" Fifty Pounds Keward will be gratefully paid to any Lady or Gentle-
man who will Assist in Eecotering a valuable Heirloom .... Anyone
with wealthy or influential friends can at once secure above reward.
Address, &c."]

I am an impecunious young man, and, the other day, on seeing
this Advertisement in the Times, I was seized with a wild desire to
"at once. secure above reward." Said I to myself, "I have

' wealthy and influential
friends.' There is my
cousin's uncle, who has, I
believe, thirty thousand a-
year, though I never saw
any part of it, or of him,
for the matter of that; and
there is my own aunt by
marriage, whose second
husband is a K.C.B., but I
forget his name, and do not
know where he lives." So
I sat and thought about it
for a time with my eyes
shut, and then I started.
The train was so full, that
I imagined it must be mar-
ket-day in some neigh-
bouring town, but the
station was so much fuller,
that I could hardly get out
of the train. At last, edgeways, I reached a pale and melancholy
ticket-collector, and asked him where I should find the address
mentioned. He turned a pitying eye upon me, and, pointing to the
crowd that filled the station, said, wearily, "They're all a-goin'
there. I know, cos they've all arst me. You'd better foller 'em."
This statement filled me with desperation; I fought and struggled

through the vast crowd of persons '' with wealthy and influential
friends " until I reached the open street. By that time I was ex
hausted, and, finding that the street was even fuller than the station
had been, I gave up the attempt. I saw that the reserve of gold at
the Bank of England would not have sufficed to pay each applicant
the promised £50. In any case I felt sure that by that time the
whole of the money in the town must have been used up. So,
without hat or umbrella, and with my coat as much divided up the
back as up the front, I returned—to consciousness, and went on
reading the newspaper._

"THE FORESTERS."

All the greatest swells Hang me if I know

Of the U. S. A.
Come to see a new,

Fascinating play,
Yerses by a Lord !

Music by a Knight!
Just the thing in which

Democrats delight.
When the hearty praise^

Bursts from Yankee lips,
" Pass and blush the news

Over glowing ships ; "
What'are "glowing ships" ?

That I've never guessed,
"Pass the happy news,

Blush it thro' the West; "
This I simply quote

From the poet's muse ;

How you " blush the news "!
Anyhow, you do,

If the lines will scan,
"Till the red man dance,"

Do you think he can ?
" And the red man's babe

Leap beyond the sea."
Active sort of child,'

Surely, that must be !
" Blush from West to East,"./

Blush from left to right,
"Till the West is East,"
And the black is white,
Daly is the man!

Daily is the play,
"Dailies " puff it up,
In the kindest way.

More Appropriate. — The Senate House, where the Degree
Examinations take place, might well be termed "The Spinning
House." It is there that unfortunate Candidates are " spun."