DOI Heft:
April 2, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0175
166
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[April 2, 1892.
Shoppun, I am powerless—you must do your evil will! " {He sinks
on a settee : Triumph of Villain, tableau, and Curtain.) _
Author. I wouldn't have believed that a modern audience would
treat heroic conduct like that as if it was laughable. It's enough to
make one give up play-writing altogether !
Comp. Oh, I wouldn't do that, dear. You_ mustn't punish
Posterity! \The Play goes on and on; the Villain removes incon-
veniently repentant tools, and saddles the Hero with his nefarious deeds.
The Hero is arrested, but reappears, at liberty, in the next Act {about
the Ninth), and no reference whatever is made to the past. Old serious
characters turn up again, and are welcomed with uproarious delight.
At the end of a conversation, lasting a quarter of an hour, the Lady's-
maid remarks that " her 3Iistress has been very ill, and must not talk
too much." Cheers from Audience. General joy when the Villain re-
turns a hopeless maniac. Curtain about six, and loud calls for Author.)
Author. Nothing will induce me to take a call after the shameful
way they've behaved! And it's all the fault of the acting. When
we get home, I '11 read the play all through to you again, and you '11
see how it ought to have been done! A hundred and twenty pounds
simply thrown away!
\_Retires, consoled by her Companion, and the consciousness that
true genius is invariably unappreciated.
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTEACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, March 21.—Uneasy feeling spread
through House to - night consequent on question addressed by
MacInnes to Under-Secretary for Foreign Affairs. _ Wants to
know "whether his attention has been called to the increase of
drinking among Natives in the Coast Towns ?"
Catjston particularly depressed.
" I sat for Colchester for five years, you know,"
he said, " and grew into habit of regarding the
Natives as my constituents. For five years never
swallowed one without thinking I was reducing the
number on the Register. Used to excuse myself
on the ground that the particular bivalve that had
disappeared must have been a Conservative, or it
would never have been so stupid as to leave
its comfortable bed to embark on such a
journey. My interest in the oyster is now
secondary. They don't flourish in South-
whelks more in our way down there. Still
one cannot forget old associations, and confess I'm
rather knocked over to hear this report MacInnes
has brought up. Can't imagine anything more
distressing than the spectacle of a drunken oyster
—P r o b a b 1 y
with dis-
hevelled beard
— coming
home late at
night and try-
ing to get
into another
Native's shell
under impres-
Sirlamnot » v?0? ttat • h® W----' M. Mj£ "-an Agricultural
bir,Iamnot- has recognised X |i \~7TJ Jf> M ^ Labourer."
his own front door. Must see X^SlOr W / ^ >W;^^-^> C~ |/ V
Wilfrid Lawson about this; ;V J^" I ! / 'Wfff fl A /■> Tuesday. — Morning Sitting.
et up an Oyster Temperance ■ ".y mm .v?";, s Ji/~: Sexton at length worked off
Society; framed certificates, V. - -- j \\ 13K <^^^~: ^1 Y^L'f/^'i e sPeecn on Irish Education
blue ribbon, and all that. If ^ ^=^2> ^0^^W j |; Bill, that has hung over House
the thing spreads, we shall v....,// *> if \\ * like cloud since Bill was intro-
have oysters emitting quite a V' ^ JM^^^^^U^t^yJ ^J7 r»- Whls^" duced in earliest days of Ses-
rum-punch flavour when we add ^~-s^0^. f \P%f^.K^k^.M^i sion. Wasn't in his place the
the lemon." ^ , ^'Jfs.--.Sl\\ l-'5?^ , %(-' " -- T>te? first night; so friends and col-
Gloom dissipated two hours <zC"j'£*i~, ''~-~$)\ ^^MlJj^-r u^K^-,- \ leagues wore out the sitting to
later by appearance of Bobby " 3 1 r"\\ ' "^Wmm^i ' 9 ^^M^^ preserve his opportunity. When
Spencer at the Table. Bobby ^Wv^C/ \\ %y \. I this next presented itself,
fellow first putting his mouth and then his ear to other end of your
trumpet. Sometimes I say to him, sharply, ' i don't speak through
the trumpet.' ' Oh, no, of course not,' he says, ' I beg your pardon,'
and draws away. Presently he's back again, politely, as I speak,
applying his ear to the trumpet. But it's only the absence of mind
that arises from preoccupation in matters of State."
Bobby, besides being the political director of the strategy of the
Liberal Party, is a County Member. It was
in this last capacity he appeared at Table
to-night in Debate on Second Reading of
Small Holdings Bill. House received nim
with hearty cheer. No one more popular
than Bobby. Delight uproariously mani-
fested when, daintily pulling at his abun-
dant shirt-cuff, and settling his fair
young head more comfortably upon j^ig
summit of his monumental collar, he
deprecatingly observed—
"Mr. Speaker, Sir, I am not an
Agricultural Labourer."
The speech a model of Parliamentary
debating, full of point, resting on sound
argument, lucidly stated, and all over in
five minutes. Business done.—Debate
Small Holdings Bill.
doesn't often witch the House iej%'l';vt' % ^^^^^'/^^^J^^w"'?^l Sexton thought the hour ana
with oratory. Content with ^fc"^^ v<^ J^IIM w^i^SS^tBm condition of House .unsuitable
important though to outsiders ^^WffA w \^^'.^i^a \f^Sa^MBr ^or Person °f his consequence;
obscure position he occupies in '-' /p&£ 'u \ \/^^^9m Ww»k JSar declined to speak. To-day, his
Party administration. His is Jm^^^^^^^ ^WByBH| \Wm /§Sw ^as* chance, things worse than
the hand that pulls the strings '^^e^m^ $0*$ w ^^Wmwk^ I /Cm^^^ ever. Benches empty, as usual
to which Liberal Party dance. ,v y„ ,. '^ /$>> '^a ^K^K /, " «fflP»N^,//^fflfcfcyr at Morning Sitting. But now
Schnadhobst gets some credit, rkMi^^k-7^^ J^S *? - WA ^^OS»|^l/' JHR>^> or never, and at least there
but everybody knows Bobby's l^h, '' :-:^^W^P^ \ dffl&w** would be long report in Irish
the man. To see these two V^^^'.if-^ ^■^^^^^■W'piM'''\j^^^SxM^^F^^k papers. So went at it by the
political strategists in confer- •/ -^#,?/ --'^^^^fTTfrr^M^^- "^W^^^Kf^iA. hour. Finished at a quarter to
ence is sufficient to reassure the If jfMK ~\r>J^<\ ^^mMlrSr /^rc^ «• ^&''^':;K •"' skmmffiP?mk five. At Morning Sitting, de-
Liberal Party on the possible J W^f^^tfS^l : W V 'WrWmm> bate automatically suspended at
issues of the General Flection. |^Sj$f // »Q'P:l~ wKMI^ ten minutes to seven; two
Schnadiiorst complains that f'/yxk>y/ ^ — W^^^»7/^mPw(» hours and five minutes for
Bobby has a trick, after ad- H: '<<PS^& y C^/- . ffl/^^^S ^tt^^h^SK^L everyone else to speak. Six-
dressing him through the ear- Wfggs!^ ""^^^^^X K. ^^^f ^™^H||Br ^Wpk clair long waiting chance to
trumpet he (S.) carries in X^zs /, / ^ '"\ !Bfj£Emm^^ thrust in his nose. Found it at
reminiscence of Joshua Rey- _±___'___________ -SP'j^^w^^^k- ^^^K-- ^as^' H°use wearied and
nolds, of putting his ear to / / / / / \ -m'J^^w\^^^- \ ^^^^ worn out ; glad when seven
the trumpet as if lie expected / / / / \ ilBsE * o'clock approached, and Bill
the answer to arrive through /Q p / ///■ /} \ \ \ ^^fe^ \ x^f^gy^ read First Time,
that medium. xj^svMi*^.*^ I \ \ \ At Evening Sitting, Lawyers
"Very embarrassing," .. .„ .. had it all to themselves. Ro-
Schnabhorst says, " to have a MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN ON THE HUMOURS OF PARLIAMENT." bertson opened Debate on Law
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[April 2, 1892.
Shoppun, I am powerless—you must do your evil will! " {He sinks
on a settee : Triumph of Villain, tableau, and Curtain.) _
Author. I wouldn't have believed that a modern audience would
treat heroic conduct like that as if it was laughable. It's enough to
make one give up play-writing altogether !
Comp. Oh, I wouldn't do that, dear. You_ mustn't punish
Posterity! \The Play goes on and on; the Villain removes incon-
veniently repentant tools, and saddles the Hero with his nefarious deeds.
The Hero is arrested, but reappears, at liberty, in the next Act {about
the Ninth), and no reference whatever is made to the past. Old serious
characters turn up again, and are welcomed with uproarious delight.
At the end of a conversation, lasting a quarter of an hour, the Lady's-
maid remarks that " her 3Iistress has been very ill, and must not talk
too much." Cheers from Audience. General joy when the Villain re-
turns a hopeless maniac. Curtain about six, and loud calls for Author.)
Author. Nothing will induce me to take a call after the shameful
way they've behaved! And it's all the fault of the acting. When
we get home, I '11 read the play all through to you again, and you '11
see how it ought to have been done! A hundred and twenty pounds
simply thrown away!
\_Retires, consoled by her Companion, and the consciousness that
true genius is invariably unappreciated.
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTEACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, March 21.—Uneasy feeling spread
through House to - night consequent on question addressed by
MacInnes to Under-Secretary for Foreign Affairs. _ Wants to
know "whether his attention has been called to the increase of
drinking among Natives in the Coast Towns ?"
Catjston particularly depressed.
" I sat for Colchester for five years, you know,"
he said, " and grew into habit of regarding the
Natives as my constituents. For five years never
swallowed one without thinking I was reducing the
number on the Register. Used to excuse myself
on the ground that the particular bivalve that had
disappeared must have been a Conservative, or it
would never have been so stupid as to leave
its comfortable bed to embark on such a
journey. My interest in the oyster is now
secondary. They don't flourish in South-
whelks more in our way down there. Still
one cannot forget old associations, and confess I'm
rather knocked over to hear this report MacInnes
has brought up. Can't imagine anything more
distressing than the spectacle of a drunken oyster
—P r o b a b 1 y
with dis-
hevelled beard
— coming
home late at
night and try-
ing to get
into another
Native's shell
under impres-
Sirlamnot » v?0? ttat • h® W----' M. Mj£ "-an Agricultural
bir,Iamnot- has recognised X |i \~7TJ Jf> M ^ Labourer."
his own front door. Must see X^SlOr W / ^ >W;^^-^> C~ |/ V
Wilfrid Lawson about this; ;V J^" I ! / 'Wfff fl A /■> Tuesday. — Morning Sitting.
et up an Oyster Temperance ■ ".y mm .v?";, s Ji/~: Sexton at length worked off
Society; framed certificates, V. - -- j \\ 13K <^^^~: ^1 Y^L'f/^'i e sPeecn on Irish Education
blue ribbon, and all that. If ^ ^=^2> ^0^^W j |; Bill, that has hung over House
the thing spreads, we shall v....,// *> if \\ * like cloud since Bill was intro-
have oysters emitting quite a V' ^ JM^^^^^U^t^yJ ^J7 r»- Whls^" duced in earliest days of Ses-
rum-punch flavour when we add ^~-s^0^. f \P%f^.K^k^.M^i sion. Wasn't in his place the
the lemon." ^ , ^'Jfs.--.Sl\\ l-'5?^ , %(-' " -- T>te? first night; so friends and col-
Gloom dissipated two hours <zC"j'£*i~, ''~-~$)\ ^^MlJj^-r u^K^-,- \ leagues wore out the sitting to
later by appearance of Bobby " 3 1 r"\\ ' "^Wmm^i ' 9 ^^M^^ preserve his opportunity. When
Spencer at the Table. Bobby ^Wv^C/ \\ %y \. I this next presented itself,
fellow first putting his mouth and then his ear to other end of your
trumpet. Sometimes I say to him, sharply, ' i don't speak through
the trumpet.' ' Oh, no, of course not,' he says, ' I beg your pardon,'
and draws away. Presently he's back again, politely, as I speak,
applying his ear to the trumpet. But it's only the absence of mind
that arises from preoccupation in matters of State."
Bobby, besides being the political director of the strategy of the
Liberal Party, is a County Member. It was
in this last capacity he appeared at Table
to-night in Debate on Second Reading of
Small Holdings Bill. House received nim
with hearty cheer. No one more popular
than Bobby. Delight uproariously mani-
fested when, daintily pulling at his abun-
dant shirt-cuff, and settling his fair
young head more comfortably upon j^ig
summit of his monumental collar, he
deprecatingly observed—
"Mr. Speaker, Sir, I am not an
Agricultural Labourer."
The speech a model of Parliamentary
debating, full of point, resting on sound
argument, lucidly stated, and all over in
five minutes. Business done.—Debate
Small Holdings Bill.
doesn't often witch the House iej%'l';vt' % ^^^^^'/^^^J^^w"'?^l Sexton thought the hour ana
with oratory. Content with ^fc"^^ v<^ J^IIM w^i^SS^tBm condition of House .unsuitable
important though to outsiders ^^WffA w \^^'.^i^a \f^Sa^MBr ^or Person °f his consequence;
obscure position he occupies in '-' /p&£ 'u \ \/^^^9m Ww»k JSar declined to speak. To-day, his
Party administration. His is Jm^^^^^^^ ^WByBH| \Wm /§Sw ^as* chance, things worse than
the hand that pulls the strings '^^e^m^ $0*$ w ^^Wmwk^ I /Cm^^^ ever. Benches empty, as usual
to which Liberal Party dance. ,v y„ ,. '^ /$>> '^a ^K^K /, " «fflP»N^,//^fflfcfcyr at Morning Sitting. But now
Schnadhobst gets some credit, rkMi^^k-7^^ J^S *? - WA ^^OS»|^l/' JHR>^> or never, and at least there
but everybody knows Bobby's l^h, '' :-:^^W^P^ \ dffl&w** would be long report in Irish
the man. To see these two V^^^'.if-^ ^■^^^^^■W'piM'''\j^^^SxM^^F^^k papers. So went at it by the
political strategists in confer- •/ -^#,?/ --'^^^^fTTfrr^M^^- "^W^^^Kf^iA. hour. Finished at a quarter to
ence is sufficient to reassure the If jfMK ~\r>J^<\ ^^mMlrSr /^rc^ «• ^&''^':;K •"' skmmffiP?mk five. At Morning Sitting, de-
Liberal Party on the possible J W^f^^tfS^l : W V 'WrWmm> bate automatically suspended at
issues of the General Flection. |^Sj$f // »Q'P:l~ wKMI^ ten minutes to seven; two
Schnadiiorst complains that f'/yxk>y/ ^ — W^^^»7/^mPw(» hours and five minutes for
Bobby has a trick, after ad- H: '<<PS^& y C^/- . ffl/^^^S ^tt^^h^SK^L everyone else to speak. Six-
dressing him through the ear- Wfggs!^ ""^^^^^X K. ^^^f ^™^H||Br ^Wpk clair long waiting chance to
trumpet he (S.) carries in X^zs /, / ^ '"\ !Bfj£Emm^^ thrust in his nose. Found it at
reminiscence of Joshua Rey- _±___'___________ -SP'j^^w^^^k- ^^^K-- ^as^' H°use wearied and
nolds, of putting his ear to / / / / / \ -m'J^^w\^^^- \ ^^^^ worn out ; glad when seven
the trumpet as if lie expected / / / / \ ilBsE * o'clock approached, and Bill
the answer to arrive through /Q p / ///■ /} \ \ \ ^^fe^ \ x^f^gy^ read First Time,
that medium. xj^svMi*^.*^ I \ \ \ At Evening Sitting, Lawyers
"Very embarrassing," .. .„ .. had it all to themselves. Ro-
Schnabhorst says, " to have a MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN ON THE HUMOURS OF PARLIAMENT." bertson opened Debate on Law