DOI issue:
April 16, 1892
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0199
190
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Apml 16, 1892.
A BERLIN CITIZEN'S
DIARY.
{Translated by Our First
Standard Board Scholar.)
["It is stated that the
soldier who, on Friday last,
fired at and killed a man who
threatened him while on sen-
try duty before the barracks
in the Wrangel-strasse, Ber-
lin, has been promoted to the
rank of corporal, for what is
described as his correct conduct
on the occasion. The passer-
by, who was wounded at the
same time, still lies in a pre-
carious condition." — St.
James's Gazette, April 6.]
April 1.—I go walking
near barracks; see man
looking quietly at building.
Suddenly fires tbe sentry
with his long distance rille,
so that the straight onward
through the harmless on-
looker's heart and through
my never sufficiently to be
regretted right arm pass-
ing bullet in the remote
distance a child kills.
Long live our good Empe-
ror and his glorious army !
Carried home insensible.
June 1. — At last am I
from arm-amputation re-
covered and walk again
out. The sentry was for
his on the first April quite
courageous act to be Ser-
geant promoted. Here
comes a Sergeant! He is
it! Look curiously at him
whereupon he me in the leg
shoots. Long live our Em-
peror! Again carriedhome.
Sept. 1. — Again out, in
invalid chair, meet same
man, now Lieutenant. I
murmur sadly, "Ah, my
CULTURE.
Scene—A Private Picture Gallery,
Noble Sportsman (opposite choice example of Canaletto). "I say, by Jove, I see
you 've got a picture of olympia here ! "
friend, I gave you a leg-up
indeed ! '' Then he, saying
that I him insulted have,
my remaining arm with his
sword off cuts. I respect
our Emperor, but I love not
his soldiers now. Must
hire an amanuensis.
January 1. — After my
long illness go I once again,
Unter den Linden, in my
invalid chair—that is to
say, what is left of me.
My enemy is now a Colonel.
Shall I him again see ?
Heaven forbid ! Alas, he
comes even now, with those
weapons which so rapidly
him increase, and me
diminish! I say nothing,
but he, seeing me, with
his sword my last limb off
cuts. I love not even our
Emperor now.
May 1.—To-day is the
Socialists' Day, and I can
once more out-dragged be.
I am now a without legs
or arms Socialist. My
enemy can be promoted now
only by my body. He has
become a General and
Count- {Here the
Diary ends abruptly.)
'■'Berlin, May 2.—Yes-
terday an unfortunate
Gentleman, without arms
or legs, when passing the
Royal Palace in his invalid
chair, was attacked by a
distinguished officer, who
ran his sword through the
heart of the unoffending
civilian. The assassin was
immediately promoted, as
is usual in such cases, and
is now Field Marshal
Prince Bltjttjndbtjhm von
Schlachthatjsen."—Lon-
don Daily Papers.
ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FEOM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Mon-
day, April 4. — Alphetjs
Cleophas has added a new
terror to Parliamentary life.
It is bad enough to have
him unexpectedly rising
from a customary seat ;
usually finds a place on top
Bench below Gangway,
whence, in days that are no
more, Newdegate used to
lament fresh evidences of
Papal ascendancy. House
grown accustomed to hear-
ing the familiar voice from
this accustomed spot. To-
night, conversation on ques-
tion of Privilege been going
forward for some time.
Seemed about to reach con-
clusion, when suddenly, far
below the Gangway in Irish
quarter, ominous sound
broke on startled ear.
At first all eyes turned to
Newdegate's old quarters;
but the voice evidently did
not _ proceed thence. Fol-
lowing the sound, Members
came upon Alphetjs Cleo-
Alpheus Cleophas. phas breaking out in a fresh
place. Otherwise, all the same; the flat-toned voice, the imper-
turbable manner that awaits cessation of storm of obloquy, and
then completes interrupted sentence ; the conviction that somebody
(generally tbe Government) is acting dishonestly, and needs a
watchful eye kept upon him ; the information conveyed that the
Eye is now turned on—all were there, each identified Alphetjs
Cleophas. Up again and again during
preliminary discussion, always shouted
at, and ever quietly waiting till noise has
subsided, when he finishes the interrupted
sentence, and begins another.
Business done.—In Committee on Small
Holdings.
Tuesday.—Happy circumstance in the
history of all Administrations that there
is never lacking a friend on their own
side to keep them on the right path.
Uadcliffe Cooke suddenly developed
tendency towards personally conducting
the Gcvernment. Hitherto appeared as a
docile follower. New state of affairs
arose in connection with Breach of Pri-
vilege by Cambrian Railway Directors.
Hicks-Beach last night gave notice to
take into consideration Special Iieport of
Select Committee charging Directors with
Breach of Privilege. Beach proposed to
wait awhile till "the other side " had got
up a case or two, to show that if Masters
were prone to punish their Servants for
giving inconvenient evidence on question
of Hours of Labour, the Servants _ were
no better when they had power to infiict Personal Conductor.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Apml 16, 1892.
A BERLIN CITIZEN'S
DIARY.
{Translated by Our First
Standard Board Scholar.)
["It is stated that the
soldier who, on Friday last,
fired at and killed a man who
threatened him while on sen-
try duty before the barracks
in the Wrangel-strasse, Ber-
lin, has been promoted to the
rank of corporal, for what is
described as his correct conduct
on the occasion. The passer-
by, who was wounded at the
same time, still lies in a pre-
carious condition." — St.
James's Gazette, April 6.]
April 1.—I go walking
near barracks; see man
looking quietly at building.
Suddenly fires tbe sentry
with his long distance rille,
so that the straight onward
through the harmless on-
looker's heart and through
my never sufficiently to be
regretted right arm pass-
ing bullet in the remote
distance a child kills.
Long live our good Empe-
ror and his glorious army !
Carried home insensible.
June 1. — At last am I
from arm-amputation re-
covered and walk again
out. The sentry was for
his on the first April quite
courageous act to be Ser-
geant promoted. Here
comes a Sergeant! He is
it! Look curiously at him
whereupon he me in the leg
shoots. Long live our Em-
peror! Again carriedhome.
Sept. 1. — Again out, in
invalid chair, meet same
man, now Lieutenant. I
murmur sadly, "Ah, my
CULTURE.
Scene—A Private Picture Gallery,
Noble Sportsman (opposite choice example of Canaletto). "I say, by Jove, I see
you 've got a picture of olympia here ! "
friend, I gave you a leg-up
indeed ! '' Then he, saying
that I him insulted have,
my remaining arm with his
sword off cuts. I respect
our Emperor, but I love not
his soldiers now. Must
hire an amanuensis.
January 1. — After my
long illness go I once again,
Unter den Linden, in my
invalid chair—that is to
say, what is left of me.
My enemy is now a Colonel.
Shall I him again see ?
Heaven forbid ! Alas, he
comes even now, with those
weapons which so rapidly
him increase, and me
diminish! I say nothing,
but he, seeing me, with
his sword my last limb off
cuts. I love not even our
Emperor now.
May 1.—To-day is the
Socialists' Day, and I can
once more out-dragged be.
I am now a without legs
or arms Socialist. My
enemy can be promoted now
only by my body. He has
become a General and
Count- {Here the
Diary ends abruptly.)
'■'Berlin, May 2.—Yes-
terday an unfortunate
Gentleman, without arms
or legs, when passing the
Royal Palace in his invalid
chair, was attacked by a
distinguished officer, who
ran his sword through the
heart of the unoffending
civilian. The assassin was
immediately promoted, as
is usual in such cases, and
is now Field Marshal
Prince Bltjttjndbtjhm von
Schlachthatjsen."—Lon-
don Daily Papers.
ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FEOM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Mon-
day, April 4. — Alphetjs
Cleophas has added a new
terror to Parliamentary life.
It is bad enough to have
him unexpectedly rising
from a customary seat ;
usually finds a place on top
Bench below Gangway,
whence, in days that are no
more, Newdegate used to
lament fresh evidences of
Papal ascendancy. House
grown accustomed to hear-
ing the familiar voice from
this accustomed spot. To-
night, conversation on ques-
tion of Privilege been going
forward for some time.
Seemed about to reach con-
clusion, when suddenly, far
below the Gangway in Irish
quarter, ominous sound
broke on startled ear.
At first all eyes turned to
Newdegate's old quarters;
but the voice evidently did
not _ proceed thence. Fol-
lowing the sound, Members
came upon Alphetjs Cleo-
Alpheus Cleophas. phas breaking out in a fresh
place. Otherwise, all the same; the flat-toned voice, the imper-
turbable manner that awaits cessation of storm of obloquy, and
then completes interrupted sentence ; the conviction that somebody
(generally tbe Government) is acting dishonestly, and needs a
watchful eye kept upon him ; the information conveyed that the
Eye is now turned on—all were there, each identified Alphetjs
Cleophas. Up again and again during
preliminary discussion, always shouted
at, and ever quietly waiting till noise has
subsided, when he finishes the interrupted
sentence, and begins another.
Business done.—In Committee on Small
Holdings.
Tuesday.—Happy circumstance in the
history of all Administrations that there
is never lacking a friend on their own
side to keep them on the right path.
Uadcliffe Cooke suddenly developed
tendency towards personally conducting
the Gcvernment. Hitherto appeared as a
docile follower. New state of affairs
arose in connection with Breach of Pri-
vilege by Cambrian Railway Directors.
Hicks-Beach last night gave notice to
take into consideration Special Iieport of
Select Committee charging Directors with
Breach of Privilege. Beach proposed to
wait awhile till "the other side " had got
up a case or two, to show that if Masters
were prone to punish their Servants for
giving inconvenient evidence on question
of Hours of Labour, the Servants _ were
no better when they had power to infiict Personal Conductor.