DOI issue:
April 30, 1892
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0214
April 30, 1892.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
205
mr. punch's hebrideau salmon-ply book.
STRANGE ADVENTURES OE A PEN-HOLDER.
{By Wullie White, Author of " They Taught Her to Death,
upon the bank arranging flies. "I hef been told," he observed,
" tat ta English will be coming to Styornoway, and there will be no
more Gaelic spoken. But perhaps it iss not true, for they will tell
many lies. I am a teffle of a liar myself."
And lo ! as we watched, the grey sky seemed to be split in two by
A Pauper in Tulle," "My Cloudy Glare," " Green Pasterns in an invisible wedge, and a purple gleam of light shot
Picalilli," "Pan Fast to Poystori," <£c, <£-c , &c.) " Stow that! " said the Voice, " I have allowed you to put in a
[" I now send you," writes this popular and delightful Author, " the latest patch of Gaelic, but I really cannot let you do any more sun-pictures,
of the Novels in which I mingle delicate sentiment with Ilebridean or High- Try and think that it is a close time for landscapes, and don't let
land scenery, and bring the wisdom of a Londoner to bear directly upon the ; the light shoot again for a bit."
unsophisticated innocence of a kilt- " All right," I retorted, not with-
'Acaring population. I am now re- .^fflSMMfito*. ou^ annoyance, "but you'11 just
publishing my books in a series. I'll jjMMjfc. have to make up your mind to'lose
take short odds about my salmon-flies ^P"^g||J^ that salmon. It was a magnificent
as compared with anyone else s, and am W 1§& forty - pounder, and, if it hadn't
prepared to back my sunsets and cloud- » hegn f ridiculous interrup-
effects against the world, ho takers. Wfii3fc«ifc»_ ofi* a- \ u u ijji.il
I thought not. Here goes!»] Wf^^W ^ r ?! ■ Jl ■ ^
vLJL. ^^^ij// splendidly m another six pages.
_ Chapter I. ^^mSbt f u As you like," said the Voice.
I held it in my right hand, toy- . „ j^^m^JL r\ Tv
ing with it curiously, and not with- ' 'm^gmm^^' , tyPfLtf chapter iv.
out pleasure. It was merely along, /y4mIj And now our journey was draw-
wooden pen-holder, inky and inert JmL W/KB^^^Sg^^&j^ > : v rf ing to a close. Out of the solemn
to an unappreciative eye, but to me JR^jHK^^^^S^^^^^a 4<$! * hush of the purple mountains we
it was a bright magician, skilled in /mKslW//a^^i^^M^ Mhad passed slowly southwards back
the painting of glowing pictures, a JHnJ JhKhBkS^^^^^^^^S mLd$ *° *n(' roar an^ tnc turmoil of the
traveller in many climes, a tried ^BBBS^SIBmS^^^^^^^^^^^^^i London streets. And many friends
and trusted friend, who had led me ttKBBBBBBB^^^^^^^^^^^^^m^i had said farewell to us. Sheila
safely through many strange ad- ^^MmBKW^^^^^^^^^m^'BIK^^^t with her low, sweet brow, her ex-
ventures and much uncouth dialect. ^ffl«P|ljB^^ quisitely curved lips, and her soft
" Old friend," I said, addressing it a—^^^^^^^i^^^^~_^ —-s^-jr—j^-r—^ blue eyes had held us enraptured,
kindly, '' shall you and I set out i^uu^j—itiZZZZ^^^^ ~. ~1--~^ "f arL(l we na(^ wept with Coquette,
together on another journey ? We r^- - **' "'' ——~-.^r.~. . :"2lf and fiercely cheered the Whaup
have seen many countries, and the ZZir^ ____ ~"~ ~ —=: while he held Wattle by the heels,
faces of many men, and yet, though_ l-^^^rr^--—----- — == iiiEEESpSpE and made him say a sweer. And
we are advancing in years, the time --sg^^St __= —^rz^^^^j^ ^ we had talked with Macleod and
has not yet come for me to lay you ^f^g^^ ■■ .....-•■ — — — grown mournful with Madcap
down, as having no need of you. -~^==*e—-^-~:^^ ___________ *■—-———■~ Violet, and had seen many another
What say you—shall we start once fresh and charming face, and had
more ? I hear a confused sound as of men who murmur together, j talked Gaelic with gusto and discrimination. And Queen Tita had
and say, " We have supped full of horrors, and have waded chin-deep j sped with us, and we had adored Belle, and yet we cried for more,
in Zulu blood; Ave have followed the Clergy of the Established j But now the dream-journey was past, and lo! suddenly the whole
Church into the recesses of terrible crimes, and have endured them | heaven was blazing with light, and a bright saffron band lay
as they bared their too sensitive consciences to our gaze. We pine for
simpler, and more wholesome pleasures. Now," I continued, '' if only
Queen Tita and the rest will help us, I think we can do something
to satisfy this clamour." For all answer, my pen-holder nestled
lovingly in my hand. I placed my patent sunset-nib in its mouth,
waved it twice, dipped it once, and began.
across-
"Steady there ! " said the Voice. " Remember your promise ! "
The End.
Chapter II.
The weary day was at length sinking peacefully to rest behind the
distant hills. The packed and tumbled clouds lay heavily towards
the West, where a gaunt jagged tower of rock rose sheer into the
sky. And lo! suddenly a broad shaft of blood-red light shot through
the brooding cumulus and rested gorgeously upon the landscape. On
each side of this a thin silvery veil of mist crept slowly up and hung
in impalpable folds. The Atlantic sand stretching away to the
North shone with the effulgence of burnished copper. And now
brilliant flickers of coloured light, saffron, purple, green and rose
danced over the heaven's startled face. The piled clouds opened and
showed in the interspace a lurid lake of blood tinged with the pale
violet of an Irishwoman's eyes. Great pillars of flame sprang up
rebelliously and spread over the burning horizon. Then a strange,
soft, yellow and vaporous light raised its twelve bore breech-loading
ejector to its shoulder and shot across the Cryanlaughin hills, and
the cattle shone red in the green pastures, and everything else
glowed, and the whole world burned with the bewildering glare of a
stout publican's nose in a London fog. And silence came down upon
the everlasting hills whose outlines gleamed in a prismatic-
"That will do," said a mysterious Voice, "the paint-box is
exhausted!"
Chapter III.
SAINTS OE SINNERS ?
[by special wire.]
Melbourne.—It is said, on good authority, that the favourite books
of the interesting prisoner now in custody are, the Pilgrim's Progress,
an Australian Summarv of the Newgate Calendar, and the poetry of
the late Dr. Watts. He has also expressed himself as pleased with
Mrs. Humphrey Ward's latest work of fiction, though he does not
quite approve of the theological opinions of the writer.
Paris, Tuesday.—The supposed author of the dynamite outrages,
is the recipient of numerous presents in prison,_sent him by male and
female admirers, and persons anxious for his conversion and his
autograph. The edition of Thomas d Kempis, recently given him,
is a most valuable antique copy; but he complains of the print as
unsuited to his eyesight.
Melbourne. Later.—The Solicitor engaged on behalf of our
interesting prisoner has requested the Government to allow a com-
mission, consisting of the medical superintendents at Broadmore,
Hanwell and Colney Hatch, with six other English experts in
insanity, to come out to Australia to inquire into the mental con-
dition of the prisoner. A telegram has also been despatched to
Lord Salisbury requesting that the Lord Chief Justice of England
and an Old Bailey Jury may be sent out to try the case; otherwise
there will be "no chance of justice being done." > The British
Premier's reply has not yet been received. It is believed that he
is consulting Mr. Goschen about the probable cost of such a step.
Melbourne. Latest.—Through the instrumentality of an Official
I was shocked at this rude interruption.
_"_Sir!" I said, "I cannot see you, though I hear your voice.
V ill you not disclose yourself P "
" Nonsense, man," said the aggravating, but invisible one, " do I connected with the prison, lam enabled to send you some important
not waste time. Let us get on with the story. You know what j information concerning our prisoner which you may take as abso
comes next. Revenons d nos saumons. Ha, ha! spare the rod and j lutely authentic. His breakfast this morning consisted of buttered
spoil the book!' j toast, coffee, and poached eggs. He complained that the latter were
I was vexed, but I had to obey, and this was the result:
The pools were full of gleaming curves of silver, each one belong-
ing to a separate salmon of gigantic size fresh run from the sea.
The foaming Black Watfcr tumbled headlong over its rocks and down
its narrow channel. Donald, the big kctper, stood industriously ■ created a profound sensation.
vol. gex.
not new-laid, and became very excited. It has also transpired that
he is strangely in favour of Imperial Federation, and he has
declared to his gaolers that " The friendship between England and
her Colonies ought to be cemented." This Impression of opinion has
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
205
mr. punch's hebrideau salmon-ply book.
STRANGE ADVENTURES OE A PEN-HOLDER.
{By Wullie White, Author of " They Taught Her to Death,
upon the bank arranging flies. "I hef been told," he observed,
" tat ta English will be coming to Styornoway, and there will be no
more Gaelic spoken. But perhaps it iss not true, for they will tell
many lies. I am a teffle of a liar myself."
And lo ! as we watched, the grey sky seemed to be split in two by
A Pauper in Tulle," "My Cloudy Glare," " Green Pasterns in an invisible wedge, and a purple gleam of light shot
Picalilli," "Pan Fast to Poystori," <£c, <£-c , &c.) " Stow that! " said the Voice, " I have allowed you to put in a
[" I now send you," writes this popular and delightful Author, " the latest patch of Gaelic, but I really cannot let you do any more sun-pictures,
of the Novels in which I mingle delicate sentiment with Ilebridean or High- Try and think that it is a close time for landscapes, and don't let
land scenery, and bring the wisdom of a Londoner to bear directly upon the ; the light shoot again for a bit."
unsophisticated innocence of a kilt- " All right," I retorted, not with-
'Acaring population. I am now re- .^fflSMMfito*. ou^ annoyance, "but you'11 just
publishing my books in a series. I'll jjMMjfc. have to make up your mind to'lose
take short odds about my salmon-flies ^P"^g||J^ that salmon. It was a magnificent
as compared with anyone else s, and am W 1§& forty - pounder, and, if it hadn't
prepared to back my sunsets and cloud- » hegn f ridiculous interrup-
effects against the world, ho takers. Wfii3fc«ifc»_ ofi* a- \ u u ijji.il
I thought not. Here goes!»] Wf^^W ^ r ?! ■ Jl ■ ^
vLJL. ^^^ij// splendidly m another six pages.
_ Chapter I. ^^mSbt f u As you like," said the Voice.
I held it in my right hand, toy- . „ j^^m^JL r\ Tv
ing with it curiously, and not with- ' 'm^gmm^^' , tyPfLtf chapter iv.
out pleasure. It was merely along, /y4mIj And now our journey was draw-
wooden pen-holder, inky and inert JmL W/KB^^^Sg^^&j^ > : v rf ing to a close. Out of the solemn
to an unappreciative eye, but to me JR^jHK^^^^S^^^^^a 4<$! * hush of the purple mountains we
it was a bright magician, skilled in /mKslW//a^^i^^M^ Mhad passed slowly southwards back
the painting of glowing pictures, a JHnJ JhKhBkS^^^^^^^^S mLd$ *° *n(' roar an^ tnc turmoil of the
traveller in many climes, a tried ^BBBS^SIBmS^^^^^^^^^^^^^i London streets. And many friends
and trusted friend, who had led me ttKBBBBBBB^^^^^^^^^^^^^m^i had said farewell to us. Sheila
safely through many strange ad- ^^MmBKW^^^^^^^^^m^'BIK^^^t with her low, sweet brow, her ex-
ventures and much uncouth dialect. ^ffl«P|ljB^^ quisitely curved lips, and her soft
" Old friend," I said, addressing it a—^^^^^^^i^^^^~_^ —-s^-jr—j^-r—^ blue eyes had held us enraptured,
kindly, '' shall you and I set out i^uu^j—itiZZZZ^^^^ ~. ~1--~^ "f arL(l we na(^ wept with Coquette,
together on another journey ? We r^- - **' "'' ——~-.^r.~. . :"2lf and fiercely cheered the Whaup
have seen many countries, and the ZZir^ ____ ~"~ ~ —=: while he held Wattle by the heels,
faces of many men, and yet, though_ l-^^^rr^--—----- — == iiiEEESpSpE and made him say a sweer. And
we are advancing in years, the time --sg^^St __= —^rz^^^^j^ ^ we had talked with Macleod and
has not yet come for me to lay you ^f^g^^ ■■ .....-•■ — — — grown mournful with Madcap
down, as having no need of you. -~^==*e—-^-~:^^ ___________ *■—-———■~ Violet, and had seen many another
What say you—shall we start once fresh and charming face, and had
more ? I hear a confused sound as of men who murmur together, j talked Gaelic with gusto and discrimination. And Queen Tita had
and say, " We have supped full of horrors, and have waded chin-deep j sped with us, and we had adored Belle, and yet we cried for more,
in Zulu blood; Ave have followed the Clergy of the Established j But now the dream-journey was past, and lo! suddenly the whole
Church into the recesses of terrible crimes, and have endured them | heaven was blazing with light, and a bright saffron band lay
as they bared their too sensitive consciences to our gaze. We pine for
simpler, and more wholesome pleasures. Now," I continued, '' if only
Queen Tita and the rest will help us, I think we can do something
to satisfy this clamour." For all answer, my pen-holder nestled
lovingly in my hand. I placed my patent sunset-nib in its mouth,
waved it twice, dipped it once, and began.
across-
"Steady there ! " said the Voice. " Remember your promise ! "
The End.
Chapter II.
The weary day was at length sinking peacefully to rest behind the
distant hills. The packed and tumbled clouds lay heavily towards
the West, where a gaunt jagged tower of rock rose sheer into the
sky. And lo! suddenly a broad shaft of blood-red light shot through
the brooding cumulus and rested gorgeously upon the landscape. On
each side of this a thin silvery veil of mist crept slowly up and hung
in impalpable folds. The Atlantic sand stretching away to the
North shone with the effulgence of burnished copper. And now
brilliant flickers of coloured light, saffron, purple, green and rose
danced over the heaven's startled face. The piled clouds opened and
showed in the interspace a lurid lake of blood tinged with the pale
violet of an Irishwoman's eyes. Great pillars of flame sprang up
rebelliously and spread over the burning horizon. Then a strange,
soft, yellow and vaporous light raised its twelve bore breech-loading
ejector to its shoulder and shot across the Cryanlaughin hills, and
the cattle shone red in the green pastures, and everything else
glowed, and the whole world burned with the bewildering glare of a
stout publican's nose in a London fog. And silence came down upon
the everlasting hills whose outlines gleamed in a prismatic-
"That will do," said a mysterious Voice, "the paint-box is
exhausted!"
Chapter III.
SAINTS OE SINNERS ?
[by special wire.]
Melbourne.—It is said, on good authority, that the favourite books
of the interesting prisoner now in custody are, the Pilgrim's Progress,
an Australian Summarv of the Newgate Calendar, and the poetry of
the late Dr. Watts. He has also expressed himself as pleased with
Mrs. Humphrey Ward's latest work of fiction, though he does not
quite approve of the theological opinions of the writer.
Paris, Tuesday.—The supposed author of the dynamite outrages,
is the recipient of numerous presents in prison,_sent him by male and
female admirers, and persons anxious for his conversion and his
autograph. The edition of Thomas d Kempis, recently given him,
is a most valuable antique copy; but he complains of the print as
unsuited to his eyesight.
Melbourne. Later.—The Solicitor engaged on behalf of our
interesting prisoner has requested the Government to allow a com-
mission, consisting of the medical superintendents at Broadmore,
Hanwell and Colney Hatch, with six other English experts in
insanity, to come out to Australia to inquire into the mental con-
dition of the prisoner. A telegram has also been despatched to
Lord Salisbury requesting that the Lord Chief Justice of England
and an Old Bailey Jury may be sent out to try the case; otherwise
there will be "no chance of justice being done." > The British
Premier's reply has not yet been received. It is believed that he
is consulting Mr. Goschen about the probable cost of such a step.
Melbourne. Latest.—Through the instrumentality of an Official
I was shocked at this rude interruption.
_"_Sir!" I said, "I cannot see you, though I hear your voice.
V ill you not disclose yourself P "
" Nonsense, man," said the aggravating, but invisible one, " do I connected with the prison, lam enabled to send you some important
not waste time. Let us get on with the story. You know what j information concerning our prisoner which you may take as abso
comes next. Revenons d nos saumons. Ha, ha! spare the rod and j lutely authentic. His breakfast this morning consisted of buttered
spoil the book!' j toast, coffee, and poached eggs. He complained that the latter were
I was vexed, but I had to obey, and this was the result:
The pools were full of gleaming curves of silver, each one belong-
ing to a separate salmon of gigantic size fresh run from the sea.
The foaming Black Watfcr tumbled headlong over its rocks and down
its narrow channel. Donald, the big kctper, stood industriously ■ created a profound sensation.
vol. gex.
not new-laid, and became very excited. It has also transpired that
he is strangely in favour of Imperial Federation, and he has
declared to his gaolers that " The friendship between England and
her Colonies ought to be cemented." This Impression of opinion has