Punch (102.1892)

233

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[May 14, 1892.

ENCOURAGING, VERY!

Cockney Art-Teacher {newly arrived and nervous—after a long silence). ' If you should see a
chance o' Drorin* anything Correctly—DO SO ! ! " [Collapse of expectant Student.

ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.

EXTKACTED FKOM THE DIAKY OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Co?)imons, Monday, May 2.—"Would that midnight or
Closure would come ! " murmured Prince Arthur just now, looking
wearily up at clock.

It is only eleven; still another hour; hard even for trained nerves.
For more than six hours been discussing Scotch Equivalent Grant.
Clark's musical voice has floated through the House by the half
hour.

" A bagpipe with bronchitis nothing to it," says Farquharson,

curling himself up -with
delight as he hears sounds
that remind him of his
mountain home. Hunter
has relentlessly pursued
the unhappy Lord-Advo-
cate, and Caldwell has
thoroughly enjoyed him-
self. His life, it will be
remembered, was tem-
porarily blighted by action
of Robertson when he
was Lord-Advocate. Got
up, following Caldwell
in debate, and dismissed
a subject in a quarter of
an hour's speech without
reference to oration hour-
and-half long with which
Caldwell had delighted
House. Don't remember
what the subject was, but
never forget Caldwell's
seething indignation, his
righteous anger, his wither-
ing wrath. Robertson
" Curling himself up with delight." smiled in affected disre-

gard ; but very soon after he found it
convenient to withdraw from the focus
of Caldwell's eye, and take refuge
on the Scotch Bench. As for Cald-
well, he withdrew his support from
Ministers, tore up his ticket of mem-
bership as a Unionist, and returned
to the Gladstonian fold. A tragic
story which Scott might have
worked up into three volumes had
he been alive. He is not, but Cald-
avell is, and so are we—at least par-
tially after this six hours' talk round
rates in Scotland, whether at ten
shillings per head or twelve shillings.
At half past eleven human nature
could stand it no longer; progress re-
ported although there still remained
half-an-hour available time.

Business done.'—Scotch Members
avenged Culloden.

Tuesday.—" Rather a mean thing
for Maejorlbanks to bolt in this
way, don't you think ? " said Camp-
bell-Bannerman, walking out of
House when Sinclair showed signs
of following Caldwell. "Says he
has some County Council meeting in
Scotland. "Went off by train last
night; promised to be back on Thurs-
day. We'll see. "When he made
that arrangement he thought Scotch
Bill would be through to-night; but
it won't. "Will certainly go over to
Thursday. So Master Marjori-
banks will find himself caught when
he comes back. Meanwhile he's es-
caped to-day and some hours of last
night, which is something. As for
me, I 've stuck to my post, and will
very probably die at it. Go in and
listen to Sinclair, dear boy, follow-
ing Caldwell, succeeded by Essle-
mont, with Clark in reserve. I think
you '11 enjoy yourself."

So I did; thoroughly pleasant
afternoon from two o'clock to seven. Lord - Advocate visibly
growing leaner in body, greyer in face. Campbell-Bannerman's
usually genial temperament souring, as will be observed from
remarks quoted above. J. B. Balfour looking in from Edinburgh
professes thoroughly to enjoy the business. But then he's fresh to
it. Pretty large attendance of Members, but reserve themselves
solely for Division. When bell rings three
hundred odd come trooping in to follow the
Whips into either lobby; then troop forth
again. Long John O'Connor beams genially
down on scene.

" Glad you 're having this for a change," he
says. "You grumble when we Irish take the
floor. Now the Scotch will oblige. Hope you '11
like Caledonian and Caldwell better than
Home Rule and Erin G O'Brien."

" Yes, 1 do," I boldly answered. Only dis-
traught between conflicting charms of Cald-
well and Sinclair. There is a cold massivity
about Sinclair, a pointedness of profile, when
he declares "the Nose have it." But there is
a loftiness about Caldwell's tone, a subdued
fire in his manner when he is discussing the
difference between a rate of ten shillings and
one of twelve, a withering indignation for all
that is false or truculent (in short, anything
connected with the office of Lord-Advo-
cate) that strangely moves the listener.
The very mystery of his ordinary bearing
weaves a spell of enchantment around
him. For days and weeks he will sit
silent, watchful, with his eye on the
paralysed Scotch Law Officers. Then,
suddenly, as in this debate on the Equi-
valent Grant, he comes to the front, and
pours forth an apparently inexhaustible
flood of argumentative oratory, delivered
with exhilarating animation. " Give me
Peebles for pleasure," said the loyal " The Nose have it