DOI Heft:
May 21, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0255
246 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Mat 21, 1892.
IN DIFFICULTIES.
Effie {who can't make her sum come right). "Oh, I do wish I was a Rabbit so ! "
Maud. "What for, Darling?" Effie. "Papa says they Multiply so quickly!"
THE OTHER "WESTMINSTER STABLE." With ^%a?' "^obbled!" Ah:
Noble Owner {watching the Favourite out To get at his groom, or sneak into his stable,
for exercise). Ah! don't look so bad, How gladly some or them would give him a
Arthur, after his spin! dose !
They are asking all round if he'll run, if he'll, That's right, Arthur ; watch him, my lad,
win. and—keep close !
They would like much to know, I 'ye no Trainer. Ay, ay, Sir! They will not get
manner of doubt. _ much out of me, Sir !
Why, there isn't a Bookie, a Tipster, or Tout, j A still tongue to Tipsters and Touts is a teaser.
Not to mention an Owner, or Trainer, or Vet, | They 're awfully curious about f other horse;
But desires the straight tip—which I wish '• Dissolution, you know. Try to pump me.
they may get! | Noble Owner. Of course!
If they knew he'd been " nobbled," they'd ! Very natural, you know, /should be, in their
greatly rejoice; case.
Then they'd back other cracks—Dissolution If they knew that this nag couldn't win the
for choice— big race,
Or was not meant to run, then their course
would be clear.
[Espies Stranger approaching.
Hillo! Not too near, Arthur! {Aside.)
Whom have we here ?
Polite Stranger {insinuatingly). Begpardon,
my Lord ! A bit out of my track.
Missed my way. But—ahem!—is that really
the "crack" ?
Why, he loolis cherry ripe—at a distance. I 've
heard
All sorts of reports—gossips are so absurd!
But—would you mind telling me —Arts the
Great Horse
Been really—got at ? Entre nous, mind !—
Noble Owner {drily). Of course !
Dissolution's shy backers would much like to
know.
But—tell them who sent you to ask—it's no go !
[Exit, leaving Polite Stranger plante Id.
A LAY SERMON.
{Suggested by certain recent manifestations of the
Nonconformist conscience.)
Thou shalt not steal! That's a command
Which grips us with an iron hand ;
And " he who prigs what isn't his'n,
When he is cotched shall go to prison ! "
So runs the Cockney doggerel, clear
If ungrammatical, austere,
With not a saving clause to qualify
Its rigid Spartan rule, or mollify
Theft s Nemesis. Thou shalt not steal!
At least,—ahem!—well, all must feel
That property in thoughts and phrases,
The verbal filagree that raises
Flat fustian into " oratory,"
And makes the pulpit place of glory,
Such property is not so easy
To settle, and a conscience queasy
O'er picking pockets, oft remains
Quite unperturbed while—picking brains !
A Sermon is not minted coin ;
It you may borrow, buy, purloin,
In part or wholly, and yet preach it
As your own work. Who '11 dare impeach it,
Ibis innocent transaction ? Not
Tour " brethren," save, perchance, some hot
And ultra-honest (which means '' rancorous'')
Parsonic rival. " How cantankerous ! "
The reverend Assembly shouts.
It mocks at scruples, flames at doubts,
Hints at the stern objector's animus,
In the prig's praises is unanimous.
Oh, Happy Cleric Land, where unity
Breeds such unquestioning community
Of property—in Sermons ! True it
Strikes some as queer ; but they all do it,'
If one may trust advertisement,
And an Assembly's calm content
At what to the Lay mind seems robbery.
Steal ? Nay ! But do not raise a bobbery,
If hard-up preachers glean their shelves
And take the credit to themselves.
How wise, how good, how kind, how just!
And how the poor Lay mind must trust
Those who so skilfully reveal
The meaning of " Thou shalt not Steal! "
"Regrets and' Greaves." — But for a
recent trial, who of the outside public would
even have guessed that the unromantie and
quite Bozzian name of " Mr. and Mrs. Til-
kins" meant the clever musician, Mr. Ivan
Caryll and the charming and accomplished
actress and soprano, Miss Geraldiite
Ulmar ? The Tilkinses are to be congra-
tulated on their winning the recent action
of Tilkins v. Greaves with the award
of one thousand pounds damage, which is
the price the transmitter of scandal to the
New York World has had to pay for his
industry.
IN DIFFICULTIES.
Effie {who can't make her sum come right). "Oh, I do wish I was a Rabbit so ! "
Maud. "What for, Darling?" Effie. "Papa says they Multiply so quickly!"
THE OTHER "WESTMINSTER STABLE." With ^%a?' "^obbled!" Ah:
Noble Owner {watching the Favourite out To get at his groom, or sneak into his stable,
for exercise). Ah! don't look so bad, How gladly some or them would give him a
Arthur, after his spin! dose !
They are asking all round if he'll run, if he'll, That's right, Arthur ; watch him, my lad,
win. and—keep close !
They would like much to know, I 'ye no Trainer. Ay, ay, Sir! They will not get
manner of doubt. _ much out of me, Sir !
Why, there isn't a Bookie, a Tipster, or Tout, j A still tongue to Tipsters and Touts is a teaser.
Not to mention an Owner, or Trainer, or Vet, | They 're awfully curious about f other horse;
But desires the straight tip—which I wish '• Dissolution, you know. Try to pump me.
they may get! | Noble Owner. Of course!
If they knew he'd been " nobbled," they'd ! Very natural, you know, /should be, in their
greatly rejoice; case.
Then they'd back other cracks—Dissolution If they knew that this nag couldn't win the
for choice— big race,
Or was not meant to run, then their course
would be clear.
[Espies Stranger approaching.
Hillo! Not too near, Arthur! {Aside.)
Whom have we here ?
Polite Stranger {insinuatingly). Begpardon,
my Lord ! A bit out of my track.
Missed my way. But—ahem!—is that really
the "crack" ?
Why, he loolis cherry ripe—at a distance. I 've
heard
All sorts of reports—gossips are so absurd!
But—would you mind telling me —Arts the
Great Horse
Been really—got at ? Entre nous, mind !—
Noble Owner {drily). Of course !
Dissolution's shy backers would much like to
know.
But—tell them who sent you to ask—it's no go !
[Exit, leaving Polite Stranger plante Id.
A LAY SERMON.
{Suggested by certain recent manifestations of the
Nonconformist conscience.)
Thou shalt not steal! That's a command
Which grips us with an iron hand ;
And " he who prigs what isn't his'n,
When he is cotched shall go to prison ! "
So runs the Cockney doggerel, clear
If ungrammatical, austere,
With not a saving clause to qualify
Its rigid Spartan rule, or mollify
Theft s Nemesis. Thou shalt not steal!
At least,—ahem!—well, all must feel
That property in thoughts and phrases,
The verbal filagree that raises
Flat fustian into " oratory,"
And makes the pulpit place of glory,
Such property is not so easy
To settle, and a conscience queasy
O'er picking pockets, oft remains
Quite unperturbed while—picking brains !
A Sermon is not minted coin ;
It you may borrow, buy, purloin,
In part or wholly, and yet preach it
As your own work. Who '11 dare impeach it,
Ibis innocent transaction ? Not
Tour " brethren," save, perchance, some hot
And ultra-honest (which means '' rancorous'')
Parsonic rival. " How cantankerous ! "
The reverend Assembly shouts.
It mocks at scruples, flames at doubts,
Hints at the stern objector's animus,
In the prig's praises is unanimous.
Oh, Happy Cleric Land, where unity
Breeds such unquestioning community
Of property—in Sermons ! True it
Strikes some as queer ; but they all do it,'
If one may trust advertisement,
And an Assembly's calm content
At what to the Lay mind seems robbery.
Steal ? Nay ! But do not raise a bobbery,
If hard-up preachers glean their shelves
And take the credit to themselves.
How wise, how good, how kind, how just!
And how the poor Lay mind must trust
Those who so skilfully reveal
The meaning of " Thou shalt not Steal! "
"Regrets and' Greaves." — But for a
recent trial, who of the outside public would
even have guessed that the unromantie and
quite Bozzian name of " Mr. and Mrs. Til-
kins" meant the clever musician, Mr. Ivan
Caryll and the charming and accomplished
actress and soprano, Miss Geraldiite
Ulmar ? The Tilkinses are to be congra-
tulated on their winning the recent action
of Tilkins v. Greaves with the award
of one thousand pounds damage, which is
the price the transmitter of scandal to the
New York World has had to pay for his
industry.