Punch (102.1892)

May 21, 1892.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

249

grimalkin in disguise. Some cats are very deceitful at heart.
Bring your rabbit home, and then send to the nearest livery stables
and borrow a curry-comb, then proceed to curry your rabbit. If
Bunny resists, hit him over the head with the comb. _ He will pos-
sibly run away to rejoin his brethren at Ostend, or in New South
Wales ; but at all events you will have the curry-comb. One can
be good and happy without returning the things you borrow. See
my "Essay on Books, Cartes-de-visite, and Umbrellas,"in the next

OUR COOKERY-BOOKERY.

Most Cookery-Books are bosh. I have read them all—from the
'Apxwaye'pos of Francatellides (1904 b.c.) to the Ayer Akberi;
or Milium Recipes of Rung Jung Jellybag. compiled in Sanskrit,
Pali, Singhali, Urdu, Hindustani, Bengali, and the Marowsky
language, for the "Kitchens measureless to man" (see Coalridge),
of the Golden Dome of Kubla Khan; from Mrs. Glasse to Dr.

Kitchener ; from Ude to Alex- „ number of Sola's J-{Edito

andre Dumas; from Careme to ✓ ^^>^ rial blue-pencil again.)

Mrs. Markham (who is said to g^^^^C ■ Potage d la Jambe de Bois

have adopted the pseudonym of ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0^ (Wooden-leg Soup).—Procure a

"Rundell" for her culinary mis- -^^J^^^W K^JL m^P^^ 1 tine fresh wooden-leg, one from
tress-piece); and from Miss Acton 1>'/%0\ ' t. ,J%0<, k \ Chelsea is the best. Wash it

(who was also the distinguished ^^^J^'L^^r^^^^fr^ fPH^^^^-V^^r B'w carefully in six waters, blanch it,

authoress of Austen Fryers, Pies j >, ' . ■ ^fl^S^Nj^^^ n and trim neatly. Lay it at the

and Prejudice, Sense and Salt- /C-<y V' ":^-C llSP^ 'if^C Dottom of a lar#e Pot' "lto which

cellars, &c.) to Soyer. The only / I l^^^^1-' place eight pounds of the under-

modern culinary manual which ^^Z^.'■') :^^^^X^^^Jj I | cut of prime beef, half a Bayonne

{with one exception) is worth any- ^^WvjM^^/'i-' 1' / / ^HEftPIr ham, two young chickens, and a

thing is by Mrs. De Salts, whose ^/T^T-—^^^^^^^UHBmm \ sweetbread. To these add leeks,

name has a happy affinity to that / ^^^^^^^W^^5^^-.§N\%M ife^^ chervil, carrots, turnips, fifty

of The Only Trustworthy Autho- ^^^P^^^^t heads of asparagus, a few truf

rity as a Cookery-Bookerist, and v CSF7C jM^^^P"^^^^^^^^ ^H^fai^^^oT^P ^es' a *ar?e cow-(;a°ka8'o, a pint

whose immortal contributions to Ox/V U/^^^^K^^^^mU^^^^^^W^^— ^y': of Frencn Deans> a peck of very

mageiristic lore are appearing ^^^^h^^^^^^^j^^^^SMij \ ^ %M ' young peas, a tomato cut in

weekly in Sal- {Here the ^^^^^11 ^^^^^^^^S^^^^^^^l^^^^^^^Z^^Zfz— snces> some potatoes, and a couple

M.S. ' is firmly scored out by '^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Bw^^^^^^^^^^^^^^M^WT °f bananas. Pour in three gallons
the Editorial blue pencil; but, ^^^^^^^^^M^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Y t^^^^^^r- of water, and boil furiously till
faintly legible, is, " circulation, §|fp ^^^^^^^^^^^^^C^ V/ r^^^^ your soup is reduced to about a
2,599,862|.") From this " Golden ^§§ fgj -S^^^^^^^^^^^^ h*S&F^-r~ pint and a-half. As it boils, add,
Treasury" of gormandising I have -.^^S^^- '^^^^^^^^^^^M^/ ' L«WM^cp drop by drop, a bottle of Jules
been permitted to cull a few re- .-^ rTBS* B0%&- Mumm's Extra Dry, and a gill of
eipes. Here are two or three for ~"---TZl^^^^^^^:;5,°aSr::^^^^^^^^ I; Mftr-~~v^ Scotch whiskey; then takeout
scholast ic bed-room suppers. The "^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ IilmSSS^MM, your wooden leg, which wipe care-
first will he invaluable in Semi- ~^°^^^^^a^jaSw^^^^, ipP^Pff^i fully and serve separately with a
naries for Young Ladies:— r^^fillff^^W' II^w^Bm* neat ^r^' wn*ca can ^e easily
Saucissons en Petite 'Toilette.— -=^^^mS I// MmS^^^KV CU^ ^rom ^e cover °^ Gala's

Purchase your sausages on the ^^^^SMWm^^i^^^m^^ i^^Mrali™ ! ,J°-' {^^torial blue pencil

sly, and keep them carefully in I'^^iffii l' WflwiW I again), round the top. _ The soup

your glove-box, or your hand- Jl^ffiMro MHB ^^^^W/^^^^ "' Hi I flfi iiW I itself is best served in a silver

kerchief case till wanted. Prick ^alBM II IK^V^^H^F l|fl]|»l|i^'| tureen, or in a Dresden china

them all over with a hair-pin :^:iffiSliBi IIPF^ \W^^^/ II if" Iff I punch-bowl. The above obviously

before cooking. Sprinkle them ^+^HffiffiEtl' W$M%Mty ' / illi<flif !'r if f ls intended neither for school-

lightly with violet powder, and "^----^ffiffi HI III ^^^^^^ yZ/. s JJ I if f If ^oys nor school-girls, nor is it

fry in cold cream (bear's grease ■^^3fflm»IPIf ^^xm^^T ^y/^ u ml I III If r- meant ^or ^e tawes of the wealthy

will do as well) on the back of u U^ImW' f W^Mf zB^ '>W/ If If \ H f) Jr an(^ luxuri°lls- ^ is emphatic-

your handglass over the bed-room 1(^11 I W ' ^'^-Z^-/ J |l| -// ally a Poor Man's Dish, other-

candle. If the glass gets broken, j j| j 1 ^^^^^ 'jr 1 |^5M11J/ wise it would never have found

say it was the housemaid, or the M 'jj ;| /'^ IF'^? ' a I^ace in tne cookery column of

cat did it. Turn with the curling- _ [ ■ | P^^^Mfww- w?+J1&bJ!M'1 that essentially popular periodi-

tongs. When done to a rich .] , ; IV^Qj^^^^^^P^^^^. J cal, Sola's Journal. Hurrah!

golden brown, put your sausages ' < i xx - " the Editor has gone out to " chop,"

on a neatly folded copy of S- \ ~~'"^^^^^p— W ^^<J^l^^ and there was no blue pencil to

{Editorial blue pencil again), and *$^gs*^ mar the last touching allusions,

serve hot. Thin bread and butter, KB.—Circulation, eight millions,
plum-cake or shortbread may accompany this appetising dish, and a I nine hundred and thirty-three thousand, two hundred and sixty-

partially ripe apple munched between each sausage will certainly one and a-half. Guaranteed by five firms of Magna Chartered

give it a zest; but it would perhaps be as well not to eat too many
chocolate creams afterwards.

Souffle de Frontage de Hollande.—This is a very favourite dish for
the dormitory in Young Gentlemen's schools. Procure, on credit, a
fine Dutch cheese, keep it carefully in your play-box or in your desk;
but don't let your white mice get at it. Before cooking in the dormi-
tory, you and your young friends can have a nice game of ball with
the merry Dutchman, only refrain from trying his relative hardness
or softness by hammering the head of Muoe, the stupidest boy in the
school, with it. Now cut up your cheese into small dice and care-
fully toast them on a triangular piece of slate, which you will cause
" Gyp Minor " to hold over a spirit-lamp. When, as the slate grows
hotter, "Gyp Minor" will probably howl, box his ears smartly,
and the cheese will thus become a " souffle," or rather " soufflet.
Serve a la main chaude, but I must indignantly protest against the
practice of some youths of eating peppermint drops with this "plat."
A bath bun is much better. Beverage, gingerbeer or a little ginger
wine.

Tournedos d la Busby.—It is a very astonishing thing that I never
could persuade school-boys that this is a most succulent, scholastic
supper-dish, exceptionally brisk and pungent in its flavour. Perhaps
their aversion to it is based on the fact that the tournedos is usually
served very hot indeed towards the conclusion of the repast by the
Rev. Principal. It is accompanied by a brown sauce made of a
bouquet de bouleau full of buds and marinaded in mild pickle.

Curried Rabbit. — Proceed to Ostend and procure a rabbit;
honestly if possible, but procure it. Pinch its scut or bite its ears,
and when it exclaims, " Miauw I" it is not a genuine rabbit, but a

Accountants. Old Artful.

THE NEW LEARNING.

Mr. Stuart Rendel, having stated at Llanfair-Caerecinion that
"a day with Mr. Gladstone was a whole liberal education," the
London School Board has at last decided to alter the present system
completely. After many days' deliberation, it has been arranged
to hire the Albert Palace and Mr. Gladstone for a week. It is
estimated, that during six days, all the children now in the London
schools can, in detachments, be squeezed into the building and spend
a day there with the Right Honourable Gentleman. Seats will be
provided on the platform for the Members of the Board, as this
instruction would be a great benefit to many of them. At the end
of the six days the present work of the Board will be finished, and
it will adjourn for ten years, when another week in the society
of the Grand Old Educator will again suffice for the needs of the
rising generation. The numerous Board Schools will therefore
become useless, but it is not proposed to demolish them, as experience
has shown that they are sure to fall down of their own accord before
long. The sumptuous offices of the Board will be converted into a
Home for Destitute Schoolmasters.

We have reason to believe that Mr. Gladstone, after fulfilling his
engagement at the Albert Palace, will make a tour in the provinces,
and later on will have classes for journalists and other literary men,
whose style, in many cases, would be vastly improved by two minutes,
or even less, in the same room with him.