DOI Heft:
May 28, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0267
258 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [May 28, 1892.
VOLO EPISCOPARI.
Festive Middy. "I say, Guv'nor ! I think you must rather like being Bishop here !"
His Lordship. "Well, my Boy I hope I do ! But why do you ask?"
Festive Middy. "Oh, I've just been taking a Walk through the City, and—I say!—there is an uncommonly good-
looking lot o' Girls about, and no mistake !"
TO LORD SALISBURY.
{By a Perturbed Tory.)
["We trust that the present Administration will
not commit the blunder of attempting to ' gain
favour with this or that section of the con-
stituencies, by indulging in loose talk on econo-
mical questions.' "—The Standard.]
To thump the Drum Ecclesiastic
Was very likely mere parade ;
But oh, why make yourself seem plastic
To the fanatics of Fair Trade ?
Of course a warning's no " incitement" ;
You only said, in tones of thunder,
The valiant Ulstermen to fight meant,
And on your soul you didn't wonder.
Encouragement in that f Go to !
Did shouting Saunderson so take it ?
[Still it did raise a hullabaloo.
It's settling now, don't re-awake it!)
No ; civil war is far—and fudge I
But why the dickens make suggestions
That England is inclined to budge
An inch on Economic Questions ?
Let Howard Vincent, if he likes,
Talk " Fair Trade " fustian ; no one listens.
But you f—best keep to slating Strikes.
You bet the eye of Harcourt glistens,
And Gladstone reading with a grin,
Says,_ " Now 1 have him on the hip ! "
This will not do, if we 're to win.
Of course, dear Lord, 'twas but a slip,
But then you do make such a lot;
Explaining them away gets wearying.
You seem as though—of course, 'tis rot!—
Our Free Trade system you were querying.
That cock won't fight; Protection's dead,
Don't trot its ghost out. Just ask Gos-
chen!
That Silver Conference, too ! His head
Must have gone woolly, I've a notion.
Fire us with militant stiggestions ;
Your loyal followers they embolden,
But upon Economic Questions
Remember Silence is so golden !
Reported Disappearance of the Broad
Gauge.—It has been "converted," andin this
sense our old friend, The Broad Gauge, with
its easy-going ways, is defunct for ever. Is
the conversion for the better ? From "broad"
to "narrow" is not, ordinarily speaking,
beneficial to the individual or to society. And
as applied to lines that fall in such pleasant
places as do those of the Great Western, will
the change to "narrow" result in the same
breadth of view which the passengers have
hitherto enjoyed P Will the ideas of the
management and direction of the G. W. R.
change from "broad" to "narrow"? We
see it mentioned that the '' cross sleepers'' have
been disturbed and re-laid (enough to make
them crosser than ever ; the ceremony should
have been accompanied by a band playing
selections from "The Sleeper Aivakened"),
and that " an inner row of chairs " is already
fixed. But chairs arc not so comfortable for
sleepers as the good old-fashioned broad-
gauge-G.-W.-R. first-class seat, in which,
after you had lunched, you could repose
from Swindon to Exeter. However, we all
know the safety of choosing the "narrow"
in preference to the "broad" way in life,
and so, no doubt, the spiritually-minded
Directors of the G.W.R. have acted with the
best intentions and upon the most unanimous
resolutions. Yet "intentions" or "resolu-
tions " are more compatible with the "broad "
than the " narrow " way.
forir $ramfoell.
Born 1808. Died 1892.
Alas ! The Busy " B " is dead,
No more we '11 hear him buzz a-wing,
Nor picture with a smiling dread
The pungent terrors of his sting.
As Io's gadfly was this " B "
To Sentiment and to Pretence.
Oh, Property ! Ah, Liberty ■
Fallen in your supreme defence!
Gone is the friend that in a phrase
The " Common Sense" of things could settle,
That with a stroke could slay a craze,
And folly lash with flail of nettle.
Wbo now will thunder in the Times
Against the Socialistic Rad's tone ?
Who '11 flout the cant and check the crimes
Of him, the all-surviving Gladstone P
Military Tournament at Islington suc-
cessful as ever. All the glory of war, as
Mr. Jorrocks observed in his lecture, with
one-half per cent, of its danger. Under
command of Major Tully. For seats, apply
per Tully-phone.
VOLO EPISCOPARI.
Festive Middy. "I say, Guv'nor ! I think you must rather like being Bishop here !"
His Lordship. "Well, my Boy I hope I do ! But why do you ask?"
Festive Middy. "Oh, I've just been taking a Walk through the City, and—I say!—there is an uncommonly good-
looking lot o' Girls about, and no mistake !"
TO LORD SALISBURY.
{By a Perturbed Tory.)
["We trust that the present Administration will
not commit the blunder of attempting to ' gain
favour with this or that section of the con-
stituencies, by indulging in loose talk on econo-
mical questions.' "—The Standard.]
To thump the Drum Ecclesiastic
Was very likely mere parade ;
But oh, why make yourself seem plastic
To the fanatics of Fair Trade ?
Of course a warning's no " incitement" ;
You only said, in tones of thunder,
The valiant Ulstermen to fight meant,
And on your soul you didn't wonder.
Encouragement in that f Go to !
Did shouting Saunderson so take it ?
[Still it did raise a hullabaloo.
It's settling now, don't re-awake it!)
No ; civil war is far—and fudge I
But why the dickens make suggestions
That England is inclined to budge
An inch on Economic Questions ?
Let Howard Vincent, if he likes,
Talk " Fair Trade " fustian ; no one listens.
But you f—best keep to slating Strikes.
You bet the eye of Harcourt glistens,
And Gladstone reading with a grin,
Says,_ " Now 1 have him on the hip ! "
This will not do, if we 're to win.
Of course, dear Lord, 'twas but a slip,
But then you do make such a lot;
Explaining them away gets wearying.
You seem as though—of course, 'tis rot!—
Our Free Trade system you were querying.
That cock won't fight; Protection's dead,
Don't trot its ghost out. Just ask Gos-
chen!
That Silver Conference, too ! His head
Must have gone woolly, I've a notion.
Fire us with militant stiggestions ;
Your loyal followers they embolden,
But upon Economic Questions
Remember Silence is so golden !
Reported Disappearance of the Broad
Gauge.—It has been "converted," andin this
sense our old friend, The Broad Gauge, with
its easy-going ways, is defunct for ever. Is
the conversion for the better ? From "broad"
to "narrow" is not, ordinarily speaking,
beneficial to the individual or to society. And
as applied to lines that fall in such pleasant
places as do those of the Great Western, will
the change to "narrow" result in the same
breadth of view which the passengers have
hitherto enjoyed P Will the ideas of the
management and direction of the G. W. R.
change from "broad" to "narrow"? We
see it mentioned that the '' cross sleepers'' have
been disturbed and re-laid (enough to make
them crosser than ever ; the ceremony should
have been accompanied by a band playing
selections from "The Sleeper Aivakened"),
and that " an inner row of chairs " is already
fixed. But chairs arc not so comfortable for
sleepers as the good old-fashioned broad-
gauge-G.-W.-R. first-class seat, in which,
after you had lunched, you could repose
from Swindon to Exeter. However, we all
know the safety of choosing the "narrow"
in preference to the "broad" way in life,
and so, no doubt, the spiritually-minded
Directors of the G.W.R. have acted with the
best intentions and upon the most unanimous
resolutions. Yet "intentions" or "resolu-
tions " are more compatible with the "broad "
than the " narrow " way.
forir $ramfoell.
Born 1808. Died 1892.
Alas ! The Busy " B " is dead,
No more we '11 hear him buzz a-wing,
Nor picture with a smiling dread
The pungent terrors of his sting.
As Io's gadfly was this " B "
To Sentiment and to Pretence.
Oh, Property ! Ah, Liberty ■
Fallen in your supreme defence!
Gone is the friend that in a phrase
The " Common Sense" of things could settle,
That with a stroke could slay a craze,
And folly lash with flail of nettle.
Wbo now will thunder in the Times
Against the Socialistic Rad's tone ?
Who '11 flout the cant and check the crimes
Of him, the all-surviving Gladstone P
Military Tournament at Islington suc-
cessful as ever. All the glory of war, as
Mr. Jorrocks observed in his lecture, with
one-half per cent, of its danger. Under
command of Major Tully. For seats, apply
per Tully-phone.