Punch (102.1892)

274 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [June 4, 1892.

MISUNDERSTANDING.

He. "Oh, if I'd only been a 'Bear' 1" She. "If you had been, you couldn't Growl worse than you do !"

ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED EROM THE DIAET OE TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday^ May 23.—Redmond, Junior, said
really funny thing just now. Rising to take part in resumed Debate
on Irish. Local Government Bill, he announced in loud angry tone
that it would be waste of time to discuss a Bill the Government
evidently did not intend to press through this Session, and he for one
would be no party to such a farce. Then he went on to talk for half
an hour.

Debate on the whole something better than last week's contribution.

O'Brien delivered himself of glowing
denunciation full of felicitous phrases, all
got through in half an hour. Chamber-
lain followed; has not yet got over
startling novelty of his interposition in
Debate being welcomed by loud cheers
from Conservatives ; thinks of old Aston-
Park days, when the cheering was, as
"Webster (not Attorney-General) says,
" on the other boot." Now, when Joseph
gets up to demolish his Brethren sitting
near, Conservatives opposite settle them-
selves down with the peculiar rustling
motion with which a congregation in
crowded church or chapel arrange them-
selves to listen to a favourite preacher.
Pretty to watch them as Chamberlain
goes forward with his speech, delighting
them with surprise to find how much
better is their position than they thought
when it was recommended or extolled
from their own side. Joseph not nearly
so acrimonious to-night as sometimes.
Still, as usual, his speech chiefly directed
to his former Brethren who sit attentive,
thinking occasionally with regret of the
fatal shallowness of the pit, and the
absence of arrangement for hermetically

sealing it. If only- But that is another story. Courtney at

end oi Bench is thinking of still another, which has the rare charm
of being true. It befel at a quiet dinner where Joseph, finding him-
self in contiguity with Chairman of Committees, took opportunity of
rebuking him for his alleged laxity in repressing disorder.

" I should like to know," he asked, "whether, supposing I were
to fire a pistol across the House, you would call it a breach of order."

"I don't think, Chamberlain," said Prince Ajjthur, who was
sitting at the other side of the table, " that
if you were going to fire a pistol in the
Commons, you would point it across the
House." Tim Healy just back from Dublin,
where he's been appearing in his favourite
character of pacifioator; followed Chamber-
lain, and later came Saunderson. But
even he suffered from prevailing tone of
dulness, and Wilfrid Lawson, fast asleep
in the corner by Cross Benches, did not miss
much. Business done. — More talk on
Local Government Bill.

Tuesday.—If anyone looking on at House
of Commons at three o'clock this afternoon
had predicted that within an hour it would
be teeming with life, brimming over with
human interest, he would have been looked
upon with cold suspicion. Nolan had taken
the floor, and was understood to be express-
ing his deliberate opinion on merits of Irish
Local Government Bill. He was certainly
saying something, but what it might be no
man could tell. Lyon Playfair, who is up
in all kinds of statistics, tells me 120 words
per minute is the average utterance of ar-
ticulate speech. Nolan was doing his 300,
and sometimes exceeded that rate. Not a
comma in a column of it. A humming-top
on the subject would have been precisely as
instructive and convincing. Some twenty
Members sat there fascinated by the per-
formance. It was not delivered in a The Fighting Colonel.