DOI Heft:
June 11, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0295
285 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [June 11, 1892.
TROP DE ZELE.
(An Aristocratic Tiv.)
The Neio Companion [fresh jrom Girtham. College), "Yes, Lady
Jane, I saw ZTer, with ZTer Habitual .Hvpocrisy Folding out
Her TLvnd to Him as 27e was Haranguing at His Hotel-"
Lady Jane. "Good gracious, Child, don't stick in your H's
so carefully as all that i people will think your father
and Mother dropped 'em, and that you 're tryin' to pick 'em
up 1 " [And People wouldn't be very far wrong.
LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS.
as anyone can see who will take the trouble to glance through my
earlier advices! "—these will be_ difficult to find, as they were only
conveyed in private letters which will not be published until my
biography is written later on!—(very much, I hope). Still, had I
pursued the ordinary course of trying to tip the Winner, Sir Hugo
would undoubtedly have been my sole selection—a fact which should
not fail to weigh with my followers—and I have followers in plenty,
as Lord Arthur knows !
Having done the whole of Epsom week, I shall be glad of a rest to
get ready for Ascot—(four new gowns to try on)—and besides there
are some smart parties to attend next week, so Doncaster will not be
blessed with my sweet presence. However, I have a friend there on
the Press who can be trusted. So, in concluding this letter with
my selection for the last horse in the Manchester Cup, I am able to
recommend it very strongly, as my friend will do the placing; and
as I am not there, no collusion can be suspected!
I must just mention that among the shows provided on Epsom
Downs for the entertainment of the multitude, was one which I
should like to see done away with, namely, the so-called "glove
contests "—which to my mind are not calculated to advance " Eng-
land's greatness " nor are they pleasing to look on at. The " abolition
of Slavin(g)" is undoubtedly a fine thing, but is hardly perhaps an
unmixed blessing when it makes heroes of Dusky "Warriors!
I hear from my friend Major Clement that we are going to have
a most successful Ascot in spite of the regrettable absence of Royalty;
indeed he could have let all the Boxes twice over—and as I shall be
staying there all the week with my friends the Baron and Baroness
Luther von Montag, I hope to collect some valuable information for
my betting readers. Yours devotedly, Lady Gay.
The Tip.
To ride the first horse in the Manchester Cup
Is a thing for which jockeys might quarrel!
But if modest young Woodburn should have the "leg up,"
He's content to be last on "Balmoral."
Dear Mr. Punch,—Of my two selections to supply the last Horse
in the Derby—one—La Heche, so far forgot what was due to my
prophetic utterances as to finish second— and indeed, very nearly
win ! However, as such reprehensible conduct was mainly owing to
the absurd wish of her jockey, Barrett, to be first, my readers will
see that no blame attaches to me—as the mare would doubtless not
have hurried so much had she been left to her own devices—(the sex
notoriously dislikes hurry)—it being a well-known fact that she would
make a race with a donkey !—though why donkey races should be
spoken of with such contempt. I don't know, for I once rode one with
Lord Arthur on Hampstead Heath—(it was during our engagement,
when people will do foolish things ; we had been slumming," and
he was disguisedin " pearlies," whilst I was gowned " a la 'Arriett")
—and I assure you our Donkeys went very fast. However—this is a
digression—as the man said when he walked over the cbiff, so let us
" noch einrnal zu unser schafen," as the German proverb runs.
Although disappointed in the behaviour of La Fleche, my second
string Llanthony maintained my reputation for correct tips, by run-
ning last, as I said he would !—It is true that some papers report him
as having finished seventh and El Diablo last; but as he did not win,
he might just as well have been last as seventh—and as I am sure
my friend Lord Eltham will not mind the placings being reversed—
I therefore place Llanthony last—and those of my readers who
took my advice and backed him, will have every reason to con-
gratulate themselves when they draw their money!
With regard to the winner, Sir Hugo, whose success was a general
surprise to all except myself—(surprise is bad form)—I can only follow
the example of all other writers on turf matters in declaring that,
" he always had my good word, and was in fact my winter favourite, | upon postponing it. Must be delivered Truculent Tim
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, May 30.—House met to-day, with
pretty assumption of things being just as usual. Speaker in Chair;
Mace on Table ; paper loaded with questions ; House even moderately
full. Mr. G. not present, but Squire _ of Malwood makes up for
that, and all other deficiencies. Quite radiant in white waist-
coat and summer pants; wish he would crown the effect by wearing
white hat; draws the line at that. "People are apt to forget," he
says, " that my father was a dignitary of the Church. It is well
sometimes to hint at the circumstance, and it would be impossible to
do it from under the brim of a white hat." The item scarcely needed
to complete joviality of Squire's appearance and bearing ; looks like
the best man at a wedding-party. "That'sjust what I am, Toby,"
he said; "Mr. G. is going to the country to wed [the majority at
the polls, and I'm the best man."
Meanwhile, farce of [there being nothing particular in the wind
admirably kept up. Odd to see how
even mention of that blessed word
Dissolution is avoided. Even when,
last Thursday, Mr. G. and Prince
Arthur practically settled the matter,
the word not uttered. Mr. G. hinted
at possibility of Arthur's sometime,
in some convenient circumstances,
making a statement as to the busi-
ness of the Session; the Prince,
adopting the phraseology, said he
would do so. Since then the same
precaution been observed.
"It's not a new idea," Prince
Arthur said just now, when 1 com-
mented on the peculiarity. '' When
a man is sick unto death, people
don't mention in his presence the par-
ticular form of disease that is carry-
ing him off. Neither do we openly
talk of Dissolution in a Parliament
whose days are numbered."
Sexton finally got off his speech on
Irish Education Bill, though under
peculiarly distressing circumstances.
Might have delivered it before Easter,
when Bill was reached one evening at
eleven o'clock. Sexton thought the
hour inconvenient and the audience ^*«sMf
inadequate for the oration; insisted
TROP DE ZELE.
(An Aristocratic Tiv.)
The Neio Companion [fresh jrom Girtham. College), "Yes, Lady
Jane, I saw ZTer, with ZTer Habitual .Hvpocrisy Folding out
Her TLvnd to Him as 27e was Haranguing at His Hotel-"
Lady Jane. "Good gracious, Child, don't stick in your H's
so carefully as all that i people will think your father
and Mother dropped 'em, and that you 're tryin' to pick 'em
up 1 " [And People wouldn't be very far wrong.
LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS.
as anyone can see who will take the trouble to glance through my
earlier advices! "—these will be_ difficult to find, as they were only
conveyed in private letters which will not be published until my
biography is written later on!—(very much, I hope). Still, had I
pursued the ordinary course of trying to tip the Winner, Sir Hugo
would undoubtedly have been my sole selection—a fact which should
not fail to weigh with my followers—and I have followers in plenty,
as Lord Arthur knows !
Having done the whole of Epsom week, I shall be glad of a rest to
get ready for Ascot—(four new gowns to try on)—and besides there
are some smart parties to attend next week, so Doncaster will not be
blessed with my sweet presence. However, I have a friend there on
the Press who can be trusted. So, in concluding this letter with
my selection for the last horse in the Manchester Cup, I am able to
recommend it very strongly, as my friend will do the placing; and
as I am not there, no collusion can be suspected!
I must just mention that among the shows provided on Epsom
Downs for the entertainment of the multitude, was one which I
should like to see done away with, namely, the so-called "glove
contests "—which to my mind are not calculated to advance " Eng-
land's greatness " nor are they pleasing to look on at. The " abolition
of Slavin(g)" is undoubtedly a fine thing, but is hardly perhaps an
unmixed blessing when it makes heroes of Dusky "Warriors!
I hear from my friend Major Clement that we are going to have
a most successful Ascot in spite of the regrettable absence of Royalty;
indeed he could have let all the Boxes twice over—and as I shall be
staying there all the week with my friends the Baron and Baroness
Luther von Montag, I hope to collect some valuable information for
my betting readers. Yours devotedly, Lady Gay.
The Tip.
To ride the first horse in the Manchester Cup
Is a thing for which jockeys might quarrel!
But if modest young Woodburn should have the "leg up,"
He's content to be last on "Balmoral."
Dear Mr. Punch,—Of my two selections to supply the last Horse
in the Derby—one—La Heche, so far forgot what was due to my
prophetic utterances as to finish second— and indeed, very nearly
win ! However, as such reprehensible conduct was mainly owing to
the absurd wish of her jockey, Barrett, to be first, my readers will
see that no blame attaches to me—as the mare would doubtless not
have hurried so much had she been left to her own devices—(the sex
notoriously dislikes hurry)—it being a well-known fact that she would
make a race with a donkey !—though why donkey races should be
spoken of with such contempt. I don't know, for I once rode one with
Lord Arthur on Hampstead Heath—(it was during our engagement,
when people will do foolish things ; we had been slumming," and
he was disguisedin " pearlies," whilst I was gowned " a la 'Arriett")
—and I assure you our Donkeys went very fast. However—this is a
digression—as the man said when he walked over the cbiff, so let us
" noch einrnal zu unser schafen," as the German proverb runs.
Although disappointed in the behaviour of La Fleche, my second
string Llanthony maintained my reputation for correct tips, by run-
ning last, as I said he would !—It is true that some papers report him
as having finished seventh and El Diablo last; but as he did not win,
he might just as well have been last as seventh—and as I am sure
my friend Lord Eltham will not mind the placings being reversed—
I therefore place Llanthony last—and those of my readers who
took my advice and backed him, will have every reason to con-
gratulate themselves when they draw their money!
With regard to the winner, Sir Hugo, whose success was a general
surprise to all except myself—(surprise is bad form)—I can only follow
the example of all other writers on turf matters in declaring that,
" he always had my good word, and was in fact my winter favourite, | upon postponing it. Must be delivered Truculent Tim
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, May 30.—House met to-day, with
pretty assumption of things being just as usual. Speaker in Chair;
Mace on Table ; paper loaded with questions ; House even moderately
full. Mr. G. not present, but Squire _ of Malwood makes up for
that, and all other deficiencies. Quite radiant in white waist-
coat and summer pants; wish he would crown the effect by wearing
white hat; draws the line at that. "People are apt to forget," he
says, " that my father was a dignitary of the Church. It is well
sometimes to hint at the circumstance, and it would be impossible to
do it from under the brim of a white hat." The item scarcely needed
to complete joviality of Squire's appearance and bearing ; looks like
the best man at a wedding-party. "That'sjust what I am, Toby,"
he said; "Mr. G. is going to the country to wed [the majority at
the polls, and I'm the best man."
Meanwhile, farce of [there being nothing particular in the wind
admirably kept up. Odd to see how
even mention of that blessed word
Dissolution is avoided. Even when,
last Thursday, Mr. G. and Prince
Arthur practically settled the matter,
the word not uttered. Mr. G. hinted
at possibility of Arthur's sometime,
in some convenient circumstances,
making a statement as to the busi-
ness of the Session; the Prince,
adopting the phraseology, said he
would do so. Since then the same
precaution been observed.
"It's not a new idea," Prince
Arthur said just now, when 1 com-
mented on the peculiarity. '' When
a man is sick unto death, people
don't mention in his presence the par-
ticular form of disease that is carry-
ing him off. Neither do we openly
talk of Dissolution in a Parliament
whose days are numbered."
Sexton finally got off his speech on
Irish Education Bill, though under
peculiarly distressing circumstances.
Might have delivered it before Easter,
when Bill was reached one evening at
eleven o'clock. Sexton thought the
hour inconvenient and the audience ^*«sMf
inadequate for the oration; insisted