Punch (102.1892)

June 18, 1892.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

291

No, hark! that heavy sound breaks

in once more,
The street, the hall its echoes now

repeat,

And nearer, clearer, deadlier than
before!

Arm! Arm ! it is—it is—the
Elections' opening roar!

'lis in onr midst — that figure

draped and dim,
Whose mocking music makes us

all afraid.
"Death as the Foe!" Can it

indeed be Him f
Duller, more dirge-like tune was

never played
On strings more spirit-chilling.

Feet are stayed
Though in mid-waltz, and laugh-
ter, though at height,
Hushes, and maidens modishly

arrayed

For matrimonial conquest, shrink
with fright;
And Fashion palsied sits, and
Shopdom takes to flight.

Ah ! then and there are hurryings

to and fro
And gathering tears, and pout-

ings of distress,
And cheeks all pale, which some

short hours ago
Glowed with the deep delights of

Dance and Dress;
And there are sudden partings,

such as press
The hope from Spoons of promise,

meaning sighs
Which ne'er may be repeated;

who can guess
If ever more shall meet those

mutual eyes,
"When Dissolution snaps the

Season's tenderest ties?

And there is scuttling in hot

haste: the steed,
The Coaching Meet, the Opera's

latest star,
The Row, the River, the Vitellian

feed,—

All the munitions of the Social
War,

Seem fruitless now, when peal on
peal afar

And near, the beat of the great Party Drum
Rouses M.P.'s to platform joust and jar,
While tongue-tied dullards scarcely dare be
dumb,

When the Whips whisper " Go ! " Wire-
pullers clamour " Come ! "

"Too bad! Too bad ! The Influenza chilled,
Court-mourning marred, the Season's earliest
prime,

And now, just as with hope young breasts are
filled,

When young leaves still are verdant on the
lime,

When diners-out are having a good time,
When Epsom's o'er and Ascot is at hand;
To cut all short, is scarcely less than crime.
Confusion on that wrangling party-band
Whose Dissolution deals the doldrums round
the land!

Ah! wild and high those Phantom-fiddlings

rise!—

All jocund June with palsying terror thrills;
Fashion sits frozen dead with staring eyes.
How that dread dirge the ambient Summer fills
Savage and shrill! Smart frocks, soft snowy
frills,

Long trains which dancing Beauty deftly
steers.

Through waltzes wild or devious quadrilles,—

THE DARWINIAN THEORY-VARIATION FROM ENVIRONMENT.

Knocked 'em in the Old Kent Road!" | "Attracted all Eyes at Church Parade.

All vanish ; bosoms white, beset with fears ;
Beat flight as that fell strain falls harsh
on Beauty's ears.

And June yet waves above" them her green
leaves,

Dewy with Springtide's night-drops'as they
pass,

Grieving,—if aught that 'a modish ever

grieves,—
Over the unreturning chance. Alas !
Their hopes are all cut down ere falls the grass.
That with corn-harvest might have seen full

blow.

See how foiled Shopdom flies, a huddled mass
Of disappointment, hurrying from the foe,
Who all their Season's prospects shatters,
and lays low.

Last month beheld them full of lusty life,
Beauty, and Wealth, and Pleasure, proudly

This music brings the signal-sound of strife,
This month the marshalling to arms. Away !
Party's magnificently sham array
The muster of Mode's mob will soon have
rent.

Play on, 0 Phantom, ominously play !
Death as the Foe ! They fly before thee, blent,
Maid, Matron, Masher, Mime, in general
discontent!

ADYICE GRATIS.

Debt.—"Simple Simon" writes: " A man
owes me money which he cannot pay. He
lives in furnished lodgings, and has given me
a Bill of Sale on the furniture. Is this suffi-
cient security ? He also offers to insure his
life for £200 if I will advance him £100,
which will be the cost of the first premium,
which he says is always heavy. I am disposed
to close with this offer. Am 1 prudent ? "

Prudent is hardly the word to describe you.
We should not in your position make the
advance mentioned. A retreat would be
much better tactics. We fancy, from your
description, that your friend would do well
as a Company Promoter.

Stock-Dealing Transactions. — " Will
you advise me under the following circum-
stances?" asks "Cheerful Soul," on a
post-card. "I placed £50 with an Outside
Broker as a speculation for the rise in Cash-
ville and Toothpeka First Preference. Yester-
day I reoeived a note to say I had lost my
money, as ' cover had run off.' On repairing
to the Broker's Office, I was surprised to find
it apparently deserted. What is my remedy Y"

-We should imagine that the Broker had

" run off " too. Your remedy is —not to specu-
late again. "Flutters " lead to the Gutters.