222 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [May 7, 1892.

THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES.

" That's the new Doctor—and those are his Children ! " " How ugly his Children are ! "
' Well, naturally ! Of course Doctors have got to keep the Ugly ones themselves, you know I "

RECKONING WITHOUT THEIR HOST.

Mr. P.C. Bull, loquitur :—

Humph ! There you go, suspicions lurkers,
From lands less free ! I grudge you room

Among my hosts of honest workers.
Had I the settling of your doom,

Your shrift were short, and brief your stay.

As 'tis, I '11 watch you on your way.

A Land of Liberty! Precisely.

And curs of that advantage take.
But, if yon want my tip concisely,—

We hate the wolf and loathe the snake :
And as you seem a blend of both,
To crush you I 'd be little loth.

Freedom we love, and, to secure it,
Take rough ana smooth with constant mind.

Espionage ? We ill endure it,
But Liberty need not be blind.

Sorrow's asylum is our isle ;

But we 'd not harbour ruffians vile.

To flout that isle foes are not chary,
When of its shelter not in need ;

But, when in search of sanctuary,
They fly thereto with wondrous speed.

Asylum ? Ay ! But learn—in time—

'Tis no Alsatia for foul crime.

Foes dub me sinister, satanic,
A friend of Nihilists and knaves;

Because I will not let mere panic
Rob me of sympathy with slaves,

And hatred of oppressors. Fudge!

Their railings will not make me budge.

I've taken up my stand for freedom,
I '11 jackal to no autocrat;

But rogues with hands as red as Edom,

Nihilist snake, Anarchist rat,
I'd crush, and crime's curst league determine.
I have no sympathy with vermin.

Doors open, welcome hospitable
For all, unchallenged, is my style ;

But trust not to the fatuous fable
That Caliban's free of my isle

With prosperous Prosperous free consent.

Such lies mad autocrats invent.

Such for some centuries they've been telling,
Crime, like an asp, I'd gladly erush

Upon the threshold of my dwelling,
But shall not join a purblind rush

Of panic-stricken fools to play

The oppressor's game, for the spy's pay I

But you, foul, furtive desperadoes,
Who, frightened now by those you'd fright,

Would fain slink off among the shadows,
To plot out further deeds of night,

Our isle's immunity you boast!—

You 're reckoning without your host.

I '11 keep my eye on you; my Juries
I think you '11 find it hard to scare ;

We worship no Anarchic furies,
For menace are not wont to care,

Here red-caught Crime in vain advances

" Extenuating Circumstances ! "

Couplet by a Cynic.

{After reading certain Press Comments on the
Picture Show.)

Philistine Art may stand all critic shocks
Whilst it gives Private Views—of Pretty
Frocks f

THE WORLD ON WHEELS.

Mr. Stevens, the American gentleman who
rode round the world on a bicycle, says, " The
bicycle is now recognised as a new social
force." Possibly. But certain writers to the
Times on'' The Tyranny of the Road,'' seem to
prove that it is also a new antisocial force,
when it frightens horses and upsets pedestrians.
Adapting an old proverb, we may say, " Set a
cad on a cycle and he '11 ride "—well, all over
the road, and likely enough over old ladies
into the bargain. Whilst welcoming the
latest locomotive development, we must not
allow the " new social force " to develop into a
new social despotism. To put it pointedly:—

We welcome these new steeds of steel,
(In spite of whistles and of " squealers,")

But cannot have the common weal

Too much disturbed by common "Wheelers"!

The Royal Academy Banquet.—After
the Presidential orations, the success of the
evening was Professor Butcher's speech.
His audience were delighted at being thus
" butchered to make " an artistic " holiday."
Prince Arthur Balfour expressed his regret
that " the House of Commons did not possess
a Hanging Committee." Hasn't it? Don't
we now and again hear of a Member being
"suspended" for some considerable time?
On such occasions, the whole House is a
Hanging Committee. There was one notable
omission, and yet for days the air had been
charged with the all-absorbing topic. " Odd!"
murmured a noble Duke to himself, as, medi-
tating many things, he stood by the much-
sounding soda-water,'' Odd! a lot of speeches ;
and yet,—not a word about Orme ! "