Studio: international art (2.1894)

The Lay Figure at Home

THE LAY FIGURE AT HOME.
The Lay Figure was writing messages
of congratulation to each of the five
new Associates, when visitors dis-
turbed it. Looking up, it said : "lam writing to

compliment the new A.R.A.'s-"

" Or the old R.A.—which ? " said the journalist.
" Of course," said the man with the clay pipe,
" like everybody else, you abuse the Academy
collectively, and shriek with joy when one of your
favourites is elected."

" Not at all," the journalist replied ; " to me it
is sad. Every election means fewer outsiders and
leaves so much less 'copy' in future. People
sometimes like depreciation of their dearest
enemies, and always of their dearest friends."

" I see; and to bemoan their exclusion is a
subtle form of obloquy," said the Lay Figure,
with a knowing air of discovery. " Now, I think,
to take one instance, that it is a magnificent thing

to have chosen-"

" Of course ; but isn't it rather late to comment
upon it ? " said the journalist.

So the Lay Figure dropped its pen and replied
irrelevantly: " I hear that Morris is printing a
catalogue of his famous collection of early illus-
trated books, at the Kelmscott Press."

" Does that imply you wished him to be made a
full-fledged R.A., as well as Laureate ? " said the
man with the clay pipe.

"Might do worse in each case," the journalist
broke in. " Fancy what capital' copy ' the appoint-
ments would make."

The Lay Figure expressed a distinct opinion
here, that " copy " was the final reason for keeping
celebrities famous, and went on to show that Art,
at least, was free from advertisement.

" Is that your real opinion," said the man with
the clay pipe, " or merely a pleasant bit of opti-
mism ? "

The Lay Figure hesitated, and finally changed
the subject once more.

"Talking of posters," it said (it has a way of
breaking out of its discursive sequence of ideas,
as though you had followed its thoughts), " I hear
they are now printing an Albert Diirer poster, nine
feet square, from the original blocks."

" The Poster from Diirer to Dudley Hardy—
from the Fifteenth Century to To-day—an excellent
title for a lecture," said the journalist.

" Except that Diirer was sixteenth century,
and that seems several hundred years nearer than
the fifteenth," the man with the clay pipe objected.
192

" Why is it the Glasgow School at the Grafton
get such short notices ? " asked the Lay Figure.

" Because they have a parochial name, I
think," the journalist explained. " If they only
called themselves the ' Chromatists ' or the ' Illu-
sionists,' there would be hope. A school must end
in ' ist' to be recognised as such."

"They paint jolly well," said the man as he
poked at his clay pipe ; " too well if anything:
it looks so easy, and they are not afraid of good
colour or big subjects."

" Give them a nickname and they will be appre-
ciated—that is the secret of success;" the journalist
here illustrated his remarks by many examples.

"The Grafton is the most entertaining Gallery
in London," said the Lay Figure.

" Let us hope it will entertain angels unawares,"
said the journalist; " we want some new unappre-
ciated geniuses; everybody is getting too com-
fortably famous."

" The Yellow Book is to supply you with them,"
said a minor poet who up to that time had been
reading a column of praise of his rival's work, and
looking very green. " Beardsley is sure to do
something to surprise you."

" The monotony of being shocked is as numb-
ing as the monotomy of dulness," said the
journalist; " we want a man to say the common-
place as if it were new."

" Oh, but The Yellow Book is not to be shock-
ing," said the minor poet. " I have offered to
write in it. It is sure to be a big success."

" Do people really care for pictures ? " said the
Lay Figure, and-

"What is Art?—If light be fifteen-thousand
times brighter than white paint, what colour shall
we paint a girl's face against it ? Should any artist
use a camera ?—and a hundred other good old
queries,", the journalist suggested in a tone of
scorn.—" I am surprised you wish to discuss first
principles."

" There seem no principles left to discuss," said
the Lay Figure mournfully. " They were all settled
centuries ago. It is only fads occupy us now.
People doubt Ruskin—doubt Pater—doubt even
D. S. M., G. M., and themselves."

" I wish we could hold any sound belief," said
the man with the clay pipe. " Our criticism is
mainly destructive—an inverted form of self-praise
that consists in belittling every other person."

" I think it comes from our anxiety to be the
first to recognise talent," said the Lay Figure.
" We are so afraid of somebody appreciating it
before us, that every goose is a full-fledged swan."