Punch (31.1856)

250

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 20, 1856.

A SKETCH DURING THE RECENT GALE.

LIVE MINUTES AT THE CATTLE SHOW.

This year's Cattle Show was attended by an immense conflux of
people, which was swelled by us, anxious to assist at an exhibition at
once ludicrous and laudable. Crossing from one side of Baker Street
to the other, we encountered great peril from the rapid succession of
omnibuses, which disgorged their crowded contents at the centre of
attraction.

Amid a shouting multitude, we elbowed our way in front of a file of
bill-distributors, who occupied the curb-stone, presenting their several
puffs to all comers. We accepted a series of these, which did not, as
we anticipated that they would, prove very violent experiments on the
credulity of the agricultural mind. We were agreeably disappointed at
not, finding among them a single quack advertisement. One of them
offered tbose whom it nii*ht concern the assistance of an "artificial
mother;" an invention which we, too hastily perhaps, concluded to
have been meant for a calf.

Mr. St ration's fat ox spoiled us for the rest of the horned cattle.
Such was its corpulence, it panted in such a manner, that it rendered
the remainder of the bovine exhibition an anti-climax. The sheep
might have excited the sympathies of the butcher or the wool-stapler,
but they caused us no emotion. But we were highly delighted with
the pigs. The. lines of beauty formed by their convolutions of fat over
tne head and face, struck; us as exceedingly picturesque; their attitudes
were most absurd; and their resentful cries were replete with comical
expression. We heard one of these animals screaming as if in the
direst agony. Its sufferings turned out to be occasioned by a young

w' wa8 Patting it with mistaken tenderness.

• v 7e ^eard maDy country gentlemen remark on the extreme interior
Bimditude between a pig and a Christian. It appears iu nothing so
much as in the circumstance that the pig, if teased or irritated, evinces
anger and annoyance — thereby provoking repetition of insult and
indignity.

We have not yet recovered from the wonder and amazement, excited
by the monstrous turnips, and gigantic specimens of mangold-wursel,
exhibited in the vegetable department.

As to the agricultural machinery—it was perfectly harrowing; and
the various instruments for torturing the earth would, but for the

knowledge that the genius loci was eminently Protestant, have caused
us to shudder with the idea of beiDg surrounded by the appliances of
the Inquisition.

Whilst this exhibition continues to draw so enormously a« it does,
the suggestion of any improvement may »ppear superfluous. Yet, if
the cattle weie adorned with fillets and garlands; if the stalls were
decked with artificial flowers; if the necks of the pigs °"ere decorated
with pink and blue ribbons ; if the animals were attended by herdsmen,
shepherds, and swineherds, tastefully attired in the Arcadian fashion,
the whole affair would present an sesthetical character which it at
uresent lacks, and which would attract a still greater number of lacies
than that which on this last occasion attended the spectacle. A
plentiful spargefaction of Eau-de-Cologne, or of Rimmel's toilet vinegar
would also much conduce to this desirable result.

The arrangements for ventilation were, however, admirable; and the
state of things necessarily arising from a vast collection of oxen was
duly pioviaed for by the arrangements for the plenteous admission of
oxygen.

CCENES IN THE CIRCLE.—MADAME CRINOLINE will, on the

& evening of her forthcoming Soirie, appear in her beautiful new dress of Lvons'
glace silk, tbe circumference of which is expected to exceed everything of the kind,
the doors of her ball-room having been purposely enlarged to allow of the perfect
ingress and egress of the said costume without fear of disarranging the elegance of its
folds, or danger of an accident reducing the extremely liberal number of its flounces.
In the centre of that large circle, Madame Crinoline will remain for five hours (from
11 p.m. to 4 a.m.), and receive her fashionable friends. In addition to numerous other
feats of agility, such as jumping through fifteen different hoops, of which her duck of
a dress is composed, and alighting each time upon her feer, the accomplished Lady
will, in the presence of the entire company, curtsey to e?ery guest, drink a cup of
coffee, devour a Vanille ice, sing a French song, walk through a quadrille, and stand,
without the least apparent fatigue, any amount of flatterv from a noble Cavalry
Captain present; and, moreover, before retiring to rest, Madame Crinoline will
gracieusement favour the company by dancing the Polka with an Hungarian nobleman
of distinction, who has kindly promised to attend in his national costume. Cards will
be sent iu due time (through the Messes Guntees') to all Madame de Crinolines
friends. Supper at Two. As'ley's band will be ia attendance, and will play several
morceaux best adapted to the Circle in question.

Unaccountable Apathy.—Morris Moore has been ordered out of
I Berlin. We have not vet heard of any earthquake in the Prussian capital!