Punch: Punch (56.1869)

22

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI,

[January 16, 1869.

EVENINGS FROM HOME.

he Covent Garden Panto-
mime, or Payne- to mime, as
it might be called but isn’t,
is brilliant and “ gorgeously
mounted,” especially Mr.
Stoyle, the basso, on two
ingeniously contrived cro-
codiles ; but it is not, to
my thinking, very funny.
Funny, when the inimitable
Paynes are on, it can’t help
being, representing as they
do Robinson Crusoe and
Man Friday, but very funny
it is not. Nor is Mr. Mor-
gan’s Transformation Scene
equal either to his last year’s
performance, or “the clock”
one in Cinderella; neverthe-
less it is sure to be popular
on account of the lavish
display of foil, tinsel and
bright colours. By the way,
Mr. Harris is a very clever
man; but why does he
always come forward to
bow whenever great ap-
plause greets some scenic
effect: surely he can’t do
everything at Covent Gar-
den ? Perhaps, though, he
does, and I didn’t know it;
so lest 1 should make some
other egregious mistake, I will, with the kind permission of my friends
in front, pass on to

Drury Lane.—Charmingly pretty : specially adapted for young chil-
dren, and to old boys, it is brimful of real pantomime fun. The Puss in
Boots is played by Mr. Irving, who sings and dances capitally. There
is a good little bit of burlesque on the sensation scene in After Dark.
The Cat is shut up in a basket, and breaks through to save his young
master, whom villains as cruel as Messrs. Walter Lacy and Murray
at the Princess’s have laid across the track of—of—no, not the train, but
the Miller's Wheelbarrow, which is driven on with all the noise, shrieks,
and steam-up music that announces the approach of the velocipede
engine and third-class carriage in Mr. Boucicault’s piece. _Mk. Cum-
mings, as a Notary, sings a well written song, detailing the legacies in
a will, which would be encored in a smaller house. The Comic business
by Mr. Clown & Co., (there are a double set), is full of “ hits ” of the
past year, all more or less telling. Had I two hearts, I had left them
both with Mademoiselles the Columbines ; but not being so provided^
I could only envy Mr. Harlequin, and console myself with a pinch of
snuff, subsequently, at the house of everyone’s esteemed friend and
“ dear boy,” Paddy Ever-GREEN’s.

The Lyceum is also a capital boys’ and girls’ Pantomime, and is
remarkable among other matters as containing only one allusion to
somebody of the name of Smith. We shall return to this subject next
week, as the legs, or corkscrews on which Mr. Yoles dances deserve an
especial notice, and the Transformation Scene is one of the prettiest
and most tasteful of any we have witnessed.

By the way, among the signs of these Theatrical times is the fact,
that at four Theatres in London are now singing and acting four young
ladies from the Music Halls. The Gaiety has one in Miss Constance
Loseby : Covent Garden one in Miss Nellie (why not Ellen ? was
she christened Nellie ?) Power : the Queen’s one in Miss Kate
(iCatherine surely, not Kate, sweet Kate) Santley, and Drury Lane
possesses Miss Harriet Coveney.

Perhaps the Music Halls are not doing so particularly well just now :
certainly I see that no spirited Proprietor has yet got the Oxford.

The Gaiety, in Mr. Gilbert’s Operatic-burlesque of Roberto, presents
good Christmas fare; and Mr. Wigan’s personification of the Mounte-
bank is the salvation of a crude piece. This theatre, I suppose, is
going to take up the Opera bovffe line, and I hope its management will
bring forward some English talent which is only waiting such a chance.
The lobbies of this house being still, of course, rather damp, are fumi-
gated by “ Bimmel’s vaporisers.” This is not mentioned as a puff-
tar from it: bul if Mr. Rihmel will only put some of his delicious

Eerfumes (and he has got some) into these machines, I will mention
im again with pleasure. The Gaiety stalls are comfortable, and the
house is brilliant. Here Venus and Mars wait upon the worshippers
of the Comic Muse—that is, amiable young ladies take your coat, if you’ll
let ’em (and you can’t refuse), and commissionnaires take your tickets ;
amiable young ladies offer you books and refreshments, commissionnaires
briefly, but politely, tell you where to go; and more amiable youn£

ladies curtesy you to your seat. These nymphs were, I was informed
by a sly dog who knew all about it, trained behind the counters and
stalls of the Alhambra. Perhaps so; but no matter: they are very
nice, and here’s a health to all good lasses, merrily take your opera-
glasses, sweep the stalls and boxes round.

What can I say of the Haymarket P Mr. Sothern is back : with
him the Hero of Romance as Jumpy as ever. After this piece is ended,
you will see Mr. Kendal’s performance of Yyvyan the Frightful Hair ;
and if you ’ve not seen Herr Bandmann, you ’ll see Mr. Kendal in
a travestie on his part which is better than the original: if you haven't
seen Bandmann, never mind, see Kendal. Any author of travestie
receives his reward from Mr. Compton, who plays burlesque in its true
spirit, seriously, and makes every line tell, when it has got anything to
tell in it; and when it hasn’t, why his delivery makes you think it lias.
Miss Ione Burke sings and plays well throughout, and comes out
very strong in the last scene as a barrister. By the way, talking of
good music (I wasn’t, I know, but suppose we suppose I was), Mr.
Kendal gives Mr. Arthur Sullivan’s Figaro sort of song from his
Contrabandista admirably. Not a note or a word is lost.

This was only intended as a sort of prelude to one of the usual dra-
matic sketches made in the front of the house, which, Ladies and
Gentlemen, I shall, with your /fe/ind permission, call the Man in the
Box, and which 1 will give you next week; or, not to be too particular
as to dates, as soon as possible.

_ *** Why do actors ordinarily say “ Skee-j ” for sky, “ te/-ind_” for
kind, “ Leeeew-cy ” for Lucy, “ iAz-aven ” for Heaven P &c. This is not
new; but no explanation has ever been given. A Pronouncing Dic-
tionary for the Stage would be useful.

AN USURER’S THRENODY.

F rom the news in my paper I gathered my doom,

I beheld the announcement with ’orror and gloom;

’Twas the cruel minute on my eye as did fall,

Of the Treasury Board wot they made at Whitehall.

And the thought to my ’art like a dagger went ’ome,

As I thought of the ruin of bis’nis to come;

And I felt pretty nearly to tear my clothes fain,

But thought that would be wastin’ my own things in vain.

I remembered how fondly on them bills I gazed,

That I ’eld of young clerks for the money they raised ;
Bills at sixty per cent, vilst they now must decline.

At the risk of their berths, all temptations of mine.

I’m afraid of sitch profits I’ve seen the last day.

And best part of my custom shall ’ave took away ;

And I vishes an earthquake ’ad appened instead,

And the Treasury fell on the Government’s ’ead.

The ’Oss Guards may the same regulation ordain.

And the ’Varsities likewise, prewentin my gain ;

Then us poor bill-discounters allruinedvill be,

And ’ave vurk, or the vurkus left only for ve.

PUNCH’S REVIEW.

Kelly's Directory for 1869.

This notice is simply apologetic. We have laid down one rule for
ourselves, from which we will not depart. We never review a book
which we have not gone through from beginning to end, making such
notes, for reference, as may occur to us. Christmas has somewhat
interfered with our examination of this Directory, and we have as yet
got only to the north end of Bouverie Street, F.C. Thus far, we have
found no fault, and we may say that the gigantic work appears to us
to contain everything that anybody can by possibility want, and a
great deal more. But we are approaching a most interesting and ex-
citing part of the composition, and we will spoil neither the pleasure
of our readers nor our own by forestalling. We are rejoiced to see
that the author is unflagging as ever, and that his stores seem to be
inexhaustible.

Music and Patriotism.

Mr. Sims Reeves is carrying the point for which, with true artistic
feeling, he has long been struggling, in bis own interest, no doubt, but
not less in that of the singing world. Mr. Halle, among other cele-
brities, has given in his adhesion to the proposed reform. The English
Pitch is to be lowered to the French standard. But never shall the
English Tar bow before the standard of France. Jammy, Mounseer.
That, we are adamant about. __

Far from it.—The woman who is bent on marrying a man because
he is a Lion, should remember that it does not necessarily follow that
she will become a Lioness.

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