Punch: Punch (56.1869)

March 13, I860.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

107

HOW TO FEED OUR GAOL-BIRDS.

To live “like a fighting'cock” is generally conceived as an agreeable
existence. But it can hardly be agreeable to live like common poultry,
at least if one be fattened in the way they are at Yichy :—

“ A large circular building, admirably ventilated, and with, the light par-
tially excluded, is fitted
up with circular cages,
in tiers rotating on a
central axis, and ca-
pable of being elevated,
depressed, or rotated,
which are so arranged
that each bird has, ns
it were, a separate stall,
containing a perch.

The birds are placed
with their tails con-
verging to a common
centre, while the head
of each may be brougb t
in front by a simple
rotatory movement of
the central axis. Each
bird is fastened to its
cell by leathern fetters,
which prevent move-
ment except of the head
■and wings, without
occasioning pain.”

To live strapped up
an a cage can scarcely
be regarded as a
comfortable way of
passing into pingui-
tude; and one would
'think that even birds
would become ex-
tremely bilious when
deprived of means of
exercise, and daily
stuffed with food in
the manner here de-
picted :—

“ When the feeding
dime comes the bird is
■enveloped in a wooden
■case, from which the
'head and neck alone
mppear, and which is
popularly known as its
paletot, by which means
all unnecessary strug-
gling is avoided. The
■attendant (ayoung girl)

■seizes the head in her
left hand, and gently
■{presses the beak, in
■order to open it ; then,

■with her right, she
introduces into the
•gullet a tin tube about
the size of a finger.

This tube is united to
a flexible pipe, which
■communicates with the
dish in which the food
(has been placed, and
;from which the desired
■ quantity is instantly
■injected into the

■stomach.”

“ I would I were a
•bird ! ” is one of the
last wishes this des-
cription would excite,
if one lias any taste
for enjoying a good
dinner. What a

punishment it would be for an alderman, for instance, to be fastened in
a wooden case, and forced to sit bolt upright, with a tin tube down his
throat, and so be crammed with turtle soup, without the power of
1 astiug it! The torments of Tantalus could scarce have equalled this,
lor we doubt if turtle soup were invented in the days when Tantalus
was tortured.

Now, why could not some tantalising punishment of this sort be
adopted with garotters and other British gaol-birds ? Compared with

workhouse fare, the diet in our prisons may be looked upon as sump-
tuous ; and there is very little doubt that, to many a pet prisoner, the
nuisance of confinement is palliated greatly by the pleasures of the
palate. Clearly, then, our gaol-birds should be stuffed a la FranQaise,
as poultry are at Yichy. Doubtless, now, their dinner is a comfort
and a pleasure to them, and this would hardly be the case if it were
forced into their gullets through a tube which utterly prevented them

-.---- from tasting it. Bor

brutes who beat their
wives, and for ruf-
fianly garotters, a
furt her torment might
be added by cram-
ming them with dain-
ties such as roast pig
and plum - pudding,
upon which they
might be suffered to
feast their eyes a-
while, without having
the enjoyment of any
further relish. We
should vastly like to
contemplate a party
of street ruffians, en-
cased in wooden pale-
tots, and witli their
noses tightly pinched,
to prevent their even
sniffing what they
were forced to swal-
low without the
power of tasting.

A CHECK.

Short-tempered Huntsman {to Party who has been fidgeting about, thinking to pad
“ G’ out o’ th’ way ! You won’t find any Primroses about here ! ”

THE TWO - YE Alt
OLD PLATE.

Talk about a hier-
archy ! What is that
topic, gentlemen
sporting-men, to the
subject of Horse?
Of how small import-
ance is the Bill for
the disestablishment
and disendowment of
the Irish Church
compared to the ques-
tion whether or no
the Jockey Club shall
legislate on the run-
ning of two - year -
olds! Are these
young race - horses
overworked? So it
appears. Admiral
lious says they are
“stumped, up” at
five years old; a
rousing announce-
ment, surely, to all
lovers of horseflesh,
especially to those
who love to discuss
it, not only as a
theme, bat also as a
dainty at dinner.
Bor, though stumped
up for the Turf, your
two-year-old may still
remain available for
the Table, and if no
longer fit to be en-
tered for a plate, may,
nevertheless, be very
Iiresentable in one,
and capable of being brought into the very best condition for a knife
and fork. This consideration may perhaps induce Sir Joseph IIawlex
to reconsider his proposed Turf Deforms. It is probable that the
carcase of a “ stumped up ” winner of the Derby would command a
fancy price per pouud.

the Fox).

Hotel eoii Bee-Banciers.—The Iium-mnms.