Punch: Punch (56.1869)

192

[Mat 8, 1869.

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

A POST-OFFICE PUZZLE.

Intelligent Foreigner. “ Oui, c’est bien la Poste ! Mais, c’esp
BROLE ! Is IT THAT ONE MOST PUT ZE LETTAKE IN ZE LANTERNS ?”

THE BUNS AND THE BEASTS.

Can anybody tell us why the buns at the Zoological Gardens seem
all of them expressly constructed for the beasts? There are bears
among the visitors and bores too, we dare say, not to mention that
wild donkeys upon fashionable afternoons are pretty frequently seen
herding there. For such animals as these the buns and other eatables
provided may be good enough; but when any nobler creature of the
genus homo hungers there, he finds it difficult to feed on such inferior
food. A walk about the gardens is an appetising exercise, and after
seeing the birds fed, one often feels inclined to peck a bit oneself. But
to stuff oneself with stale buns is an insult to one’s dinner, and till
something better be provided there for luncheon, folks who have fine
■appetites should be careful to destroy them before leaving their own
homes.

AN ILLUSTRATED ARCHBISHOP.

Him Illustrated News recently contained a leading article in which
(he writer commented with severity on the alleged language of Arch-
bishop Manning to a Eenian deputation. Dr. Manning replied,
through his solicitors, denying the accuracy of portions of the report,
on which the censure had been based. He also favoured the News
with Ms opinion that in misrepresenting the Archbishop it did not
promote loyalty on the part of that large proportion of the population
that look to him for advice. But the Illustrated News, remembering, we
suppose, that a much larger proportion of the population look to it for
advice, rejoined by withdrawing any remark based upon an imperfect
report, and then retaliated thus :

“ There are two kinds of imperfection. We have dealt with one. The other
we regret that the Archbishop does not enable us to deal with as agreeably.
Minor details are corrected, but nothing is said in answer to the general
purport of our article, which went to show that the Archbishop separated
political from other offences, expressed a sympathy for convicted felons, and
spoke of them pityingly, as ‘ poor men,’ not as bad subjects and condemned
criminals. In return for counsel, which we receive in a perfectly friendly
spirit, we would suggest that the loyalty of that class advised by the Arch-
bishop might he largely stimulated if those who rule in the Catholic Church
i would remember that something is due to the great British nation, and that
: the work of conciliation, at which English statesmen are honestly labouring,
would be rendered easier by a few loyal, manly, and patriotic utterances on
the part of the Catholic hierarchy.”

Very sensible, and none the less effective for beiug very polite. But
ad bono ? Dares the Catholic hierarchy speak out in the way desired ?
What would Cardinal Cullen say, either from himself or from.
41° 54' N., 12° 27' E. ? In old days Christian bishops helped Govern-
ments to suppress crime. If the districts in Ireland, red with assas-
: sination, were deprived by the Catholic spiritual authorities of religious
rites until the murderers were in gaol, we should hear no more of
“ agrarian outrages.” The assassins in the late cases are, of course,
supping whiskey in the cottages of an Affectionate People. In England
or Scotland they would have been hunted down and delivered over to
the law, for in England and Scotland religion means, among other
things, hatred of murderers.

DRY BONES THAT LIVE.

W. Russell has been convoying the Prince and Princess op
Wales over the scene of his old experiences in the Crimea.

Captain Pen, who did such gallant service for Captain Sword_ all
through that mighty siege, has drawn his weapon again, for war against
a new and formidable enemy—the apathy that surrenders the monu-
ments of the gallant dead to the wasting hands of time and the
elements.

It seems that our cemeteries on the plateau which for so many
months was the home of so much valour and so much, suffering, are
falling rapidly to decay. We paid £13,000 for having them walled in
and put in order; but we had nobody to see how the money was spent,
and it seems to have been absorbed, as a good deal more money of
English tax-payers has been swallowed up in the same region, without
serving the purpose it was paid for; and so, in those seventy grave-
yards which dot the wild slopes of the Crimean plateau with their
white mementos of courage quelled and endurance over-borne, the
stones are decaying, the weeds are springing. The star in stone is
chipped off one monument, the honoured names are illegible on others.
Everywhere there is decay and desolation, where England, believes and
wishes there should be decency and order, and everything which in.
graves of the dead should testify to the love and reverence of the living.

The note of pain and protest over this dishonour of the resting-places
of our fallen soldiers, comes well from William Russell, the most
generous and vivid chronicler of the deeds of those heroes while they
lived. Let England blush, and let Mr. Cardwell look to it.

No Stake in the Country.

The Bishop op London has effectually put a stop to the proceedings
instituted by Mr. Shepherd against the Romanesque Vicar of Erome. j
On the other hand there is no bringing Colensq to book, so much as
to determine whether be is right or wrong. Never mind—in toleration
we excel all Christendom. Other Churches, in union with the secular
..power, have doomed heretics to fire and faggot. Our Establishment
■cannot even call them over the coals.

“ HAIL ! COLUMBIA ” MARKET.

Miss Angela Burdett Coutts, the Lady of the Poor, has given
Bethnal Green a Market costing:, it is said, £200,000. This is the best
Money Market we ever beard of.

Academical.

Suggestion for a Hunting Picture.

Represent that obstacle peculiar to some counties called a Double.
Represent a horse stopping abruptly on one side of the double, while
bis rider has gone over bis head on to the other. This picture should
be painted by Mr. Dvce, and be called in the Catalogue—

No. A. 1. A Throw. “ Double and Quits.”

Hymeneals in the House of Commons.

Ip women ever succeed in acquiring political equality, they will be
eligible for seats in Parliament. The consequence of their election as
representatives of the people will be, that Honourable Members on the
same side of the House will, more olten, perhaps, than on opposite sides,
have recourse to the arrangement of pairing oil.

The Legitimate Drama.—Colman’s “ Heir-at-Law.”