Punch: Punch (56.1869)

266

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[June 26, 1869.

IN THE SEASON.

James. “You do a Deal o’ Shoppin’, don’t you, Charles?”

Charles. “Yes, and a goodish bit o’ Hopera ; but the Hearly Mornin’ Church Service takes it out o’ me most!

JUSTICE TO IRELAND MADE EASY.

The Irish Church question, by calming some fears,

Would be speedily settled for some noble Peers

Of the Land of Shillelaghs and Shamrock so green.

That Church disestablished to see they could bear.

But Church disendowment’s another affair.

At that, too, they little, however would chafe,

If they knew from like process themselves would be safe.

In the Land, &c.

N o bigots, to Popery hostile, are they—

Religion's a matter not much in their way,

In the Land, &c.

The Protestant Church they would leave to its fate.

If each one weren’t afraid he should lose his estate.

The Romanist Priesthood, in true Tories’ eyes,

Are, if not rival claimants, by nature allies.

In the Land, &c.

Not alone are they such in the country of Pat,

But moreover in all other countries than that
Called the Land, &c.

In all climes where Rome’s Clergy prop absolute rule,

And a struggle maintain with the Liberal School,

Which is one thing for them when it combats their game,

And another whenever it favours that same,

In the Land, &c.

With dispossessed Bourbons and ex-Dukes both side,
Garibaldi abominate, hate, and deride,

In the Land, &c.

They were grieved when they saw the Italians unite,

And should Italy fail, they would dance with delight;

They rejoice in beholding the Romans held down.

Tor the Sovereign whose Triple Hat flouts the Queen’s Crown
In the Land, &c.

On a great act of justice to Ireland intent,

Ye Statesmen, if you’d gain the Landlords’ consent
In the Land, &c.

Do but as to their acres their minds set at ease,

With the Protestant Church then do just what you please.
Then may loyal Pat shout, and contented Pat smile,

And Prosperity dawn on the Emerald Isle;

Or the Land, &c.

WELCOME VERBAL STRANGER.

Our well of English, once pure and undefiled, has derived a fresh
increment from America. By intelligence from Yankeedoodledom we
are apprised that :—

“ At Cleveland, on Saturday, May 15th, Ferd. Hawley, of Rochester,
N. Y., velocipeded fifty miles in three hours forty-one and a half minutes.”

Welcome new verb “ to velocipede; ” welcome equally with “ reli-
able.” British journalists will do well to take up this latest Americanism
instantly, and make frequent use of it. Very possibly the abuse of
England which the Yankee papers teem with, is in a very great measure
occasioned by the contemptuous avoidance of their phraseological
novelties which the higher part of our Press persists in. If the lead-
ing literary organs of’this country will only follow the example of their
inferiors in adopting every American addition to the English language
as soon as it comes over, and employing it on every possible occasion,
they will perhaps do far more than they could by any argument towards
a settlement of the Alabama “ difficulty,” and the estabhshment ot
cordial relations with the United States.

To be Pronounced Soft.

If the Lords had thrown out (may we not sav “ evicted ” ?) the Irish
; Church Bill, so many persons would have attributed this result to the
Bishop of Peterborough and the spell of his eloquence, that he migh/
have got the name of—The Great Magician.