Punch (74.1878)

42 TUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 2, 1878.

MOST CIVIL!

Polite Little Girl (who, with her Nurse, Brother, and Sisters, has been shown over a snudl Cocoa-Xut Malting Factory). " Thank you so

very much for your K.indness ! "

Thirsty Workman. " Quite welcome, Miss ! "We should like to drink your 'Ealtiis, Miss I "

Polite Little Girl. " 0, thank you ! That is vkry kind of you ! We shall be delighted! Good Afternoon!"

"THE MYSTERIOUS CABINET THICK."

(Respectfully Dedicated to Messrs. Maskelyne and Cooke, hy a
Right Honourable Rival.)

" The decisions of the Cabinet were " Three times, within a few weeks,

absolutely unanimous. They had has it been my misfortune to be at

never swerved from the policy to seriouj variance with other members

which they had agreed with one of the Cabinet onmatters of the highest

mind."—Beaconsfield. importance."—Cahnaryon.

A minute since mine seemed a rather tight fix,

To a public not up to my Cabinet tricks ;

But I always aspired to the Maskelyne role,

Since in Piccadilly he first charmed my soul.

'Tis the Cabinet trick that comes over John Bull,

With some high-sounding patter to queer his numb-skull.

These applied to la haute politique, tongue and pen,

Are the right stock-in-trade of a moulder of men ;

But the Cabinet trick needs Confederates' aid.

And of pals too sharp-witted I'm always afraid,

Or too conscientious—for that's even worse,

Though, luckily, not quite so common a curse—

And if, by ill-luck, one should come in my way,

There's no rule but get rid of the chap—play or pay.

Single-handed, I'm safe to defy every test,

But joint-stock in juggling may bother the best.]

So, now to begin.—There's my public outside

Imagines me sitting with both my arms tied !

Only fancy this child such a very green goose

As to have himself tied so as not to work loose I

My peace arm from its armlet I've only to pull,

To kick up such a row in the ears of John Bull !

But I'm forced to be careful in getting unbound,

Or I might bring the Cabinet, crash, to the ground.

Peace arm's loose ! So here goes—now for M.P. tum-tum,
D. T. penny-trumpet, and P. M. G. drum!

[d tremendous charivari of all the above-named instruments.

What a shindy ! Could eyes pierce the Cabinet wall,

How they'd wonder to see that I manage it all!

Then there's the turned-coat trick, and then " levitation "

Of me and my Cabinet with me—Sensation !

Till the Public are tired of my puppets and me,

Bat, while willing to pay, they shall see what they '11 see!

A MITREFTJL OF MONEY.

Another " Eastern Question " has cropped up besides that which
concerns the Great Powers. A suffragan Bishop is said to be wanted
for East London, where there is a large and poor population con-
firmed only in vicious and abandoned courses. "That suffragan,"
we are told, "would be well content with £3000 a year"—as he
well might. Furthermore, a contemporary observes, " Bishop
Jackson may well be expected to find £2000, and if so, the laity of
London may be trusted to find the rest." Perhaps the laity may be
trusted, as well as expected, to find the odd thousand amongst them
at any rate. The requisite subscription would not be so very much
a head. But how can the Bishop be reasonably expected to find two
thousand pounds for himself? A Bishop in these days, whilst he
must look out for squalls, can have no hope of a windfall.

an unwholesome rule for an unwholesome place.

"The Managers of the London Stock Exchange have rescinded the rule
which allows smoking in the House after three o'clock."

Put out their pipes ? An ill-timed innovation I
The place stands sore in need of fumigation!