Punch (74.1878)

February 23, 1878.] PUNCH, OB, THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 77

had protested against the Porte's protest, as no absolution of the
Russians from their undertaking not to occupy Stamhoul.

Sir Stafford said the Government stood firm to their guns.

On Second Heading of the Six Millions Bill, Jinks's Baby—
le plus terrible des enfants terribles—proceeded to fire the blun-
derbuss which he had loaded for the Six Millions Debate. After
first blazing into the Leaders on both sides—the Government as
"weak and invertebrate," the Opposition as "flabby and molluscous;"
maintaining that the Government had Jet itself be pushed into a
dangerous step by its light-headed members; and declaring his belief
that the conduct of Russia had been more dignified, more generous,
and straightforward than our own, the bold Baby did not fear even to
take Sir Robert Peel by the beard—a more daring feat, just now, than
to do as much for the Grand Turk. He had the courage, too—it is an
act of courage just now—to go the extreme animal in favour of Russia
and against Poland ; warned Government of the futility of trying
to stop the union of the scattered branches of the Sclavonic race, in
conjunction with Austria, and declared that if the Government
Leader did not pledge himself that they would not attempt to set
the Ottoman Humpty-Dampty up again, he would divide the House.
In conclusion, he declared that his blunderbuss had not been loaded
when he got up, and that the volley had been unprepared.

Sir Stafford Northcote declined to reopen the debate, but pro-
tested against charging the Government with want of candour.

Mr. Gladstone spoke some weighty word s in deprecation of our close
connection with Austria in the negotiations about to open. He de-
clared, amid ironical cheers, that he believed the views of the Oppo-
sition on this Vote and the Eastern Question were those of the great
majority of the nation.

Sir Robert Peel returned Mr. Jenkins his fire with interest.

Sir J. Lubbuck threw Jinks's Baby overboard, and Lord Elcho
called attention to the manifestations of Public Opinion in support
of Government. Lord Robert Montagu got himself called to order
for speaking of the Czar as a "tyrant," and the Liberals as "hypocri-
tical friends of virtue." It is only pretty Robert's way. Sir Wilfrid
Lawson called on Government to say definitely if they meant to
make a casus belli of the Russian Entry into Constantinople; and
Mr. Parnell crowed over Sir Stafford, as a dunghill cock that
clearly did not mean fighting. Then the Bill passed against Sir
George Campbell's stern but solitary "No"—"Among the flaccid
strong-backed only he."

The debate on Second Reading of' Mr. Sclater-Booth's County
Boards Bill was adjourned by a bored House, evidently unable to
keep its mind to anything but pros and cons of "War.

Friday {Lords).—Nothing worth noting.

{Commons.)—Some desultory Eastern questioning, which, of
course, at this crisis got none but evasive answers.

General Osborne Morgan pushed another parallel of his sap of
the Parish Churchyard, as a resting-place for parishioners of all de-
nominations, with such rites as relatives may direct, subject to due
conditions of respect for the living and the dead. That God's Acre
will soon cease to be a battle-ground for the unseemly strife of
Church and Chapel is evident when we can record that Mr. Morgan
divided 227 to 242, in a full House, in the teeth of the Government and
the face of that cry of "No Surrender ! " which, in a conflict between
the claims of a Church and the cause of common sense and common
humanity, is the certain prelude of surrender at discretion.

The writing on the churchyard wall has long been legible to all
but the Church Intransigentes in Convocation and Commons. That
they should shut their eyes to it matters nothing, except so far as
it embitters a contest which can have but one issue, delays a settle-
ment which must come, and keeps open a Church-raw which, for the
health and strength of the Church, had better be closed, and which,
had the Church's best friends been allowed to prescribe for her,
would have been closed long ago.

FROM A GOOD SAMARITAN.

Here is an offer which has come to Punch's hands, and which at
first reading seemed too good to be true. But, on second—best—
thoughts, it seemed a very poor compliment to Christian charity to
mistrust its offer because it was, as all true Christian charity must
be, unfettered and unstinted. So he gives it the publicity of his
columns, for the benefit of the many poor little ones whom it may
concern:—

"Country Home fob. London Children.—A fortnight of country life,
in the village of Halstead, near Sevenoaks, will be given, free of cost, to any
poor London children, on the recommendation of any clergyman, surgeon,
school-teacher, or other responsible person. But it i3 hoped that no one will
be sent whose parents are themselves able to provide such holidays for their
child ren. Preference will be given to girls rather than to boys, and to delicate
rather than to robust children; but a doctor's certificate of freedom from
infectious complaints will be required. Children will be taken in rotation,
as soon as there is room, from March 1st to October 30th.

FLYING SHOTS.

ar! War! War! Here
are a few specimens,
brought down by
Mr. Punch's long
bow, from the flocks
of wild canards
which have been
flying about the
country:—

It is believed that
a secret treaty has
been signed at St.
Petersburg, provid-
ing for the occupa-
tion, in the case of
further war, of Malta
by the Turks and
Egypt by the Rus-
sians.

The Danes and
Dutch are both pre-
paring to mobilise
their gendarmerie.

Volunteers for ac-
tive service are daily
being enrolled among
the one-legged Chel-
sea pensioners.
Rumours are cur-
rent at Berlin that Prince Bismarck supped last Sunday on pork
sausages and sauerkraut, which they who know him best declare is a
sure sign of his having made up his mind to a war policy.

A Woolwich Infant Show is fixed for next week on Plumstead
Common.

The Cleopatra Needle ship has been commissioned by the Govern-
ment. She will be fitted out with needle-guns, and stationed in the
Bosphorus.

Two of the many secret conditions of the Armistice are understood
in Vienna to be the cession to the Czar of the island of Corfu, and
the immediate dismantling of the fortress of Gibraltar.

With the consent of the French Shareholders, who, it is believed,
have been bought out by the Sultan, the entrance to the Suez
Canal is being sanded up, and its channel strewn with dynamite
torpedoes.

It is reported that the Admiralty have finally contracted for the
purchase of a score of the above-bridge steamboats, and that the
officers and crews are to hold themselves in readiness to proceed, in
case of need, on active Foreign Service.

A new Corps is being raised, and will before next week be added
to our forces, composed entirely of Commissionnaires who have lost
an arm. They will be employed in the Field-Telegraph Service.

The vanguard of the Russian Navy, consisting of twelve broad-
side turret ironclads and twenty-five Popofskas, has been signalled
off the Foreland, heading for Dover.

The old hulks in the Medway and the Solent are receiving a new
coat of war-paint.

It is whispered at the Foreign Office that the Admiral of the
Swiss Fleet has received sailing orders to proceed to the Red Sea,
and is prepared to lend his countenance to a blockade of the
Bosphorus.

On the first of April next the Shoe Black Brigade will be placed
on a War footing, and will receive its proper complement.

By an order from the Admiralty the shore at Brighton is t& be
illumined nightly with Greek fire ; and a tank of fish torpedoes has
been added to the Aquarium.

A Prayer from St. Peter's.

In a hole of the wall of St. Peter's great Hall,
Bricked-up, plastered down, sleeps Pope Pio—the late!

Would the plaster that's spread for the Church's late Head,
But heal raws from chafings between Church and State !

if we could !

During the Conclave the Cardinals will eat apart. If we could
but feel that this puts out of the question the chance of their
making a mess of it ?

extremes meet.

What—claves in conclavi—the keys under lock and key ?
" 91, Blackfriars Road, S.E., Feb. 10, 1878. William Kossiter. | that the KeJS of Heaven in ward of Vatican locks should be !