Punch (74.1878)

160

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON

CHARIVARI.

[Apbil 13, 1878.

AN EYE TO BUSINESS.]

Shipwrecked Party (who sees his way to supply " A Sketch on the Spot" to the
Illustrated Papers). "Beg pardon, but do you happen to have such a
Thing as a piece of India Rubber ! ? "

admitting that the ohject of those who propose to open Museums and Galleries
on a Sunday is to promote the welfare of the working classes. Punch notes
this Episcopal admibsion as of good augury for the cause of better, because less
bitter and less boozy, Sunday observance; and welcomes the out-spoken declara-
tions of the Duke of Westminster, Lord Granville, Lord Mohley, Lord Truro,
and Lord Dunraven, in favour of Gallery and Museum v. Public-House.

But "public opinion" is not yet ripe. May it ripen to that slow maturity
which promises good keeping fruit. Certainly opinion on this point is not like
to be of the kind described as " soon ripe, soon rotten."

{Commons.)—Colonel Loyd-Lindsay explained how in the event of Line
Regiments being sent abroad, the Militia battalions brigaded with them would
be embodied as their feeders. Herein Mr, Punch sees a grand Historical
Picture—say, for the Senior United-a sort of pendant to the once popular
Grecian daughter suckling her aged papa in prison—" The Militia feeding the
Li?te." The " trustworthy person" turned up again.

Mr. Fawcett to a languid House, " small by degrees, and beautifully less,"
moved his three Resolutions, condemning Sir John Strachey's Indian Financial
scheme—Salt-tax, Trades' Licence-tax, and Famine Fund to be spent on public
works. There is one Resolution which even Professor Fawcett, with all his
pluck, canNOT move—that is, the Resolution of the House of Commons not to
take an interest in Indian affairs. India is too big and too far off for even the
large embrace of our Collective Wisdom. So she is left out in the cold, which
she ought to like, being a hot country, while Wisdom cries from the Opposition
house-tops through the earnest fauces of Fawcett, and nobody but Mr. Grant
Duff, Sir George Campbell, and Sir G. Balfour regardeth.

Mr. Smollett pitched into everything that is called Indian Administration
—the dealing with the Famine,by Home and Local Governments, Indian Ex-
penditure, and, above all, Indian Public Works, which, according to Smollett,
means Indian Public Waste.

The question is, ought Salt-tax to have been equalised, as Sir J. Strachey
proposes, to the mulcting of many millions and the gain of more, or abolished
altogether ; and should trade-licences have been tolerated after Income-tax had
been abandoned; such trade-licensing being but Income-tax in disguise, and
falling heaviest on the backs least able to bear it ? Sir John Strachey will pro-
bably reply to his critics—" Admitting three-fourths of your strictures, show me
any way of raising revenue that would not be open to as much or more objec-
tion." This was the plea of Lord G. Hamilton, who put his case clearly and
cleverly.

Mr. Fawcett took two divisions—87 to 163 on the Salt-tax, 96 to 159 on
Trade-licences. The honours of argument are his; but the Strachey scheme
stands—and will work, with more or less creaking—all the same.

Wednesday.—The "trustworthy person" run down at last. It was the
Roumanian agent at Yienna who told Sir Henry Elliott what he had been
told by the Roumanian agent at St. Petersburg, who repeated what he had been
told by Prince Gortschakoff. A telling revelation !

Shall we deal with fools according to their folly—or bray them in the mortar
of penal law, whether their folly depart from them or not under the braying ?

Such is the question raised on Mr. Pease's Bill for limit-
ing the cumulative penalties under the Vaccination Act.
Mr. W. E. Forster and Mr. Gladstone in favour of
Second Reading of the Bill. Lord R. Churchill, Dr.
Playeair, and Mr. Punch against, and the Bill thrown
out—as it deserved to be —by 271 to 82.

Fools cannot be allowed to perpetuate and disseminate
small-pox. The only amendment of the Law Mr. Punch
would sanction would be one authorising compulsory vac-
cination of children where parents had neglected to pro-
tect their little ones from the one plague against which
Science has reared an impregnable barrier, behind which
—though many from ignorance and carelessness neglect
it—only fools that are fanatics, and fanatics who are fools,
obstinately refuse to shelter. Consideration to them is
cruel wrong to their children. And to prevent this the
Law must take order.

Thursday (Commons).—The Budget.—Thus, in brief:—

" To meet our bills, we ask you—
Call not this demand a whacker—
Twopence extra on your incomes,
Fourpence extra on your 'backer."

So take the one out of your pocket, Mr. Bull, and pay
it; and put the other in your pipe, and smoke it.

Sentiment (from Sir Stafford) :— "There's more
where that came from."

Chorus (from the Country).

" We don't want to pay—but whether we do or not,
"We 've had the things, we' ve had the bills, and we 're
bound to pay the shot."

Mr. Punch's verdict is, " Short, but not sweet."

Friday (Lords).—Mauritius planters have a bad name
for their treatment of Coolies. They may take the charge
coolly, but the mother country is not disposed to do so.
Colonial Secretaries, past and present—Lord Kxmberley
and Lord Carnarvon—are in earnest, and a Colonial
Ordinance has been passed, based on a despatch of Lord
Carnarvon's, prohibiting further immigration to estates
where Coolies have been ill-used, and removing those
who are established there already. This is as it should be.

Certification of Deaths Lord (Minto says) is insufficient
and incomplete in Scotland. Is it that canny Scots
consider bawbees wasted on a dead man ?

(Commons.)—Dr. Kenealy bearded the Speaker. The
House howled, at Dr. Kenealy. It keenly appreciates
the distinction between courage and audacity, indepen-
dence and impudence.

On going into Supply, Sir U. Kay- Shuttleworth—a
weak Hercules for that Augean stable—moved Resolu-
tions sketching out a reform of Metropolitan misgovern-
ment. He proposes to extend and remodel the Corporation,
and to give it rule over all London. Can the Lord
Mayor and Aldermen play Atlas to such a load ? Mr.
Charley says Xo. He would have each Metropolitan
borough a municipality. Sir McGarel-Hogg thinks the
Metropolitan Board as good a substitute for a Metro-
politan Government as we are likely to get.

Sir S. H. Waterlow declared, that if the Government
would bring in a comprehensive scheme, the Corpora-
tion would not oppose, so no hostile hand were laid on
mace or sword. This is a comfortable hearing.

Mr. Stansfeld maintained urgency, which Mr. Cross
denied, and objected to deal with Metropolitan Govern-
ment by abstract Resolution. Certainly, the Minister
who undertakes the matter will find it wants a founda-
tion of about as much concrete Resolution as law was
ever built on. Mr. Cross wisely refused to pledge the
Government to any plan—it being clear that his own
mind was a chaos, if not a blank, on the subject.

The Corporation of the Future is still, plainly enough,
in the nebulous stage. In the meantime, Mr. Punch
comforts himself with the thought, that if Metropolitan
Government is not all it should be, it is better than he
can remember it. It don't move very fast, perhaps, E
pur si muove. Looking City-wards and Country-wards,
he feels he can still wait for his Corporation.

Doubtful.

Humfty-Dumtty sat on Porte wall.

Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall. i
Will my Lords B. and S., they and all of their men,
Ever set Humpty-Dumpty up again ?