Punch (74.1878)

m PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Junk 29. 18?*

SUNDAY AT HOME.

Wife. "Good-bye, Dick, I'm going to Church. Now promise you won't play the Flute."

Anti- Sabbatarian Husband. "Pooh! why not?"

Wife. " Welt., Dick, the New Cook has come, and she might be shocked, you know."

BEN AT BERLIN.

Uritish Showman, loquitur.

Now then, Ladies and Gentlemen, Crowned Heads and other
Potentates, walk up, walk up, and see the most marvellous show in
the whole fair ! First look at me and say if I am not worth all the
money! Here I am representing one of the greatest commercial
establishments in the world, when only a few years ago I was scrib-
bling romances after leaving a lawyer's stool! In my youth I was
a Republican to the backbone, and now my Toryism is so violent
that I never can look blue enough to please myself! So walk up,
walk up, walk up !

Oh, 1 am the most accomplished Showman that ever yet was seen.
You know my powers as an aorobat—have you not seen me change
from one side of a House to another with all the celerity of a Leotard P
Of course you have—so walk up! You know what a clever conjuror
I am. Have you not seen me pretend to destroy a Reform Bill (be-
cause I said it was too Liberal), and then take the very measure and
produoe it in a form so altered that it beoame three times as radical
as it was before ? And haven't I made you believe all the time that
the magic I used was Toryism and nothing else ? Walk up then,
walk up ! Of course I have, and there is nothing I can't do. No,
absolutely nothing. If you don't believe me, look at my assistant.
That man was my rival two years ago, and now he is my slave. He
has come here to swell my triumph. To beat the big drum while I
am performing. Walk up then, walk up !

Bat I can do more. I can make anything from a Compromise to
an Empress. I have made Barons, Earls, Marquises, and Dukes.
I have made Myself! You see what I am now—some day I will
make myself something more. Perhaps (who knows ?) an English-
man ! So walk up—walk up !

And now what is my show ? Why one of the strangest collec-
tions that ever yet was seen. Here's the celebrated Gallic Cock. It
was an Eagle yesterday, and may be a Lily to-morrow. Quite a
bird after my own heart. Always changing, and always planning
effects. It's never so pleased as when it's making an Exhibition of
itself. Walk up ! walk up ! walk up! And here is the far-famed
Turkey ! I don't mind admitting that this is one of my failures.
I expected great things from this Turkey, but they haven't been

realised. But, on the whole, the Show will get on very well without
it; at least 1 think I shall try. At present the pour old bird is
moulting. Bat never mind that. Walk up ! walk up! walk up !
A.nd here are the usual performing Eagles. The Austrian one, by
the way, promises more than it performs : always did. Walk up !

And now I come to the feature of the Show—the celebrated British
Lion, and Russian Bear. Don't be afraid, Ladies ; they won't hurt
you. They have rehearsed all this before. While you outsiders
have been thinking, we were stirring them up with a long pole;
we have been teaching them how to shake hands ! That's one of
my tricks. Isn't it a good one? Sj walk up! walk up! and see
the genuine Russian Bear, filled with bran, and the bold British
Lion, stuffed with straw ! Walk up! walk up ! You pay your
money, but you don't take your choice !

YENU3 AND ADONIS.

"Men who suffer their wives' photographs to be exhibited for sale in the
shop-windows run the risk of being thought to get some profit by so doing,
for they otherwise would hardly sanction such publicity."

Where are you going to, my pretty maid ?
I'm going to be photographed, Sir, she said.

May I go with you, my pretty maid ?
Yes, if you like it, she calmly said.

What is your fortune, my pretty maid f
My face is my fortune, Sir, she said.

How do you live on't, my pretty maid ?
By selling my photos, she promptly said.

Then may I marry you, my pretty maid ?
If you 've a title, perhaps—she said.

unavoidable delay.

The many pros and cons, of the Eastern Question, of courae
retard the progress of the Congress.