Punch (77.1879)

42 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, [August 2, 1879.

WHERE THERE >S A WILL THERE'S A WAY."

(A GARDEN PARTY, JULY, 1879.)

INJURED INNOCENTS!

The G'Gorman loquitur.

Och ! shure thin, Padishah,

I rispict ye! Here 's my paw !
'Tis injured men we are, bedad ! the pair of us.

Know me, the great 0'Gorman,

The sworn foe of Saxon-Norman
Mongrels base who in St. Stephen's raise the hair of us.

"Padishah!" I'm glad to hear

A name, which on the ear,
Of the descendants of Boroo, like an Irish echo falls.

And tells of ties of blood,

That bound us, 'ere the flood
Floated families asunder, outside Noah's wooden walls.

Shure if both are sore opprist,
_ Both are divils to resist,
And thin the tyrants charge us wid Obsthruction !

By the bones of swate St. Bridget,

But we '11 put them in a fidget.
Tache us manners ? Tache their grandams ovisuction !

Is it manners ? Ah—bedad!

'Tis our game to make thim mad.
Matched with Parnell Io's gadfly was a thrifle.

And, the foe to sting and hunt,

It's 0'Gorman to the front,
"When the Saxons dare debate to thry and stifle.

There's Biggar's past a joke,

And there's Parnell can up-poke
The House till it bates Donnybrook for shindy.

Och ! the fun to see them squarin'

Up to look like never carin',
Whin it's mad they are to pitch us out o' windy.

Shure we 're both on the same lay,

Though we take a different way ;
Pigs, the crathurs, squat or squall when druv to slaughter.

You squat; 'tis us that squall:

But your squatting floors them all,
And our squalling keeps St. Stephen's in hot wather.

Arcades umbo ! Throth.

We '11 thranslate it, " Porkers both,"—
If ye '11 pardon the unsavoury allusion.

From potheen I fear ye'd shrink,

Or meself wid you would dhrink
To " Obsthruction, and the Oppressor's swift confusion!"

A PUNCH AND BULL FIGHT.

In a column of local intelligence, and a police report, you will find
these words :—

" Punch took out a cross-summons against Bull for assault, and this was
also dismissed, the Mayor remarking that there appeared to hare been a
quarrel between them, and they fought it out."

There are, possibly, news-readers—north of the Tweed, in par-
ticular—who, should the foregoing statement perchance have met
their eyes, may have misunderstood it. For their information it
may be needful to explain that the Punch above mentioned is a
Mr. Albert Punch, a gentleman residing at Newport, in the Isle of
Wight, and the Bull between whom and Punch there appeared to
the Mayor (of that borough) to have been a quarrel, a Mr. Maurice
Bull, Mr. Albert Punch's neighbour. Some words having taken
place between them, and each having declared himself as good a
man as the other, a bout of fisticuffs occurred, and they fought for
ten minutes, "complainant," Mr. Bull, "believing," as he said,
"that he himself struck the first blow." Let nobody, therefore,
imagine, or pretend to say, that anything has happened so unnatural,
monstrous, prodigious, portentous, ridiculous, and absurd as a
quarrel and a fight between Punch and John Bull.

Edison Outdone.—Make Light of the Rain-water.