Punch (77.1879)

August 9, 1879.] PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVAEL

53

Criticism'from Mr. Chillers and SirR. Peel, if pertinent, pre-
mature ; the Vote being reserved till Monday for discussion.

Abortive talk on a Eesolution by Mr. Grant Dtjee, condemning
the proposal to break up and distribute the contents of the Indian
Museum. Motion withdrawn. In Committee of Ways and; Means
£3,000,000 voted for the renewal of Exchequer Bonds. In Supply on
the Navy Estimates the Eirst Lord declared that he saw no reason to
propose any addition to our maritime strength; that is, to ask any
more millions of money for the Navy. The best thing said in the
House that evening, if safely said ; bravo Mr. W. H. Smith !
Otherwise, Oh ! oh !

The House then plunged into Committee of Supply, and floundered
about in the Navy Estimates until morning, when Progress (save the
mark) was reported, and a little Bill (the East India Loan Consoli-
dated Eund) having been read a Third Time, somebody counted out
the House at 3'5 by St. Stephen's clock.

Friday {Lords).—In answer to Lord O'Hagan, the Lord Chan-
cellor said that the Irish Lunacy Commission was a difficult subject
to deal with, but under the anxious consideration of Oovernment.

Of all lunatics, sure, it must be particularly difficult to deal with
Irish.

Lord Dunraven moved for papers which would show whether the
Prince Imperial on the fatal firstlof June was in command of the
reconnoitring party or not.

Lord Burt knew of no such papers, except those relative to the
Court Martial, not yet producible. Though employed, the Prince
held no appointment.

Lord Truro did not see the difference between appointment and
employment. (The difference which ought to coincide with a Minis-
terial distinction, my Lord, is too often invisible.) He charged Lord
Burt with equivocation, and the Government with a design to pre-
vent discussion of the question they were asked.

The Duke of Gordon and Lennox deprecated discussion which
was premature.

Earl Granville agreed that it was premature; but discussion
was not what his noble friend wanted. His Motion was merely
directed to ascertain what the Government knew about it.

A few more words, and their Lordships dropped the subject.

The Lord Clerk Register (Scotland) Bill was read a Second Time.
The Petroleum Act passed through Committee, and my Lords knocked
off at 7'5.

Commons {Morning.)—On going into Supply, animadversion by
Mr. Chamberlain on the Administration of Native Affairs in
South-Africa; talk by Messrs. James, M'Arthur, J. Macartht,
and Hermon ; reply from Sir M. Hicks Beach, and remarks by
Mr. W. E. Forster, who applauded the tone and temper of the
Colonial Secretary's speech, and rejoiced to hear that the Govern-
ment would stick to the policy of Confederation. The Colonists
must take a large share in their own defence.

Hear! Hear ! The larger the better.

The Colonists also, said Mr. A. Mills,

Ought to wage their own wars, and to pay their own bills.

Hear! hear ! hear!

Then into Supply ; and five votes on the Navy Estimates agreed
to. Here ended the Morning Sitting.

[Evening,)—Mr. Plimsoll called attention to the deplorable con-
dition of Malta, which he ascribed to inequitable taxation. He
moved that the police, drainage, repairing, lighting, cleansing, and
watering the streets, should be defrayed out of a rate on house and
other property, instead of being levied on food.

Cursory observations made by Honourable Members.

Apologetic and evasive reply from Sir M. Hicks Beach, of course
deprecating the motion, which also of course was negatived;
majority 120, minority 62. In Committee of Supply, on a peg or
two with the Navy Estimates ; also Civil Service Estimates, in
spite of Irish Members; and after a little further business done, to
brougham and bed at 2'15.

ON THE CHEAP.

{From the Journal of a Travelling Economist.)

" On the other hand, however, we must avow some apprehension that too
minute attention to the possibility of cheap travel may render a Continental
tour a continual vexation and trouble. Plain living and high thinking are
as Mr. Capper says, crying wants of these days ; but the latter condition is
hardly to be attained by the self-imposed necessity of striking a bargain with
a landlord at the end of each day's journey."—Times.

3 a.m.—Roused for the
seventeenth time since
midnight. Vow I will
never go to a fourth-class
hotel again. Try to get a
little sleep on four chairs
and a sliding bureau.
Can't. Begin a letter to the
Times in my head.

4 a.m.—Get up and look
for ink. Wake the others.
Order five breakfasts for
seven of us, and explain
to the landlord that we
have to catch the 4'57
cheap "omnibus" train
for Farthingheim.

5 a.m.—Row with land-
lord about bougies. Will
charge for them, though
we all went to bed in the
dark. Explain this. He
snaps his fingers in my
face, calls me "Fin
schwindlinder BeleidigerJ"
refuses to split the break-
fasts, and seizes my port-
manteau.

6 a.m.—Row still pro-
ceeding. _ Cheap train hopelessly missed. Look out " Beleidiger"
in a dictionary, and go up-stairs and collect all the bougies in a
carpet-bag. _ Pay bill in full, threaten to write to Bradshaw, and
go off, carrying all our own luggage to station, followed by a jeering
crowd.

7 a.m.—Sit down on it, and, with the assistance of a Phrase-book,
tell the crowd in German that "this isn't the sort of treatment a
parcel of foreigners would experience, under similar circumstances,
m the Tottenham Court Road." Pelted. Make up our minds to
catch the 7'43 (fast), if we can.

8 a.m.—Miss" it. Nothing till the 12'3 express. Station-master
refuses to take our luggage before 11'58. Start with it to the town.
Crowd increasing.

9 p.m.—Visit the Doru. Descend into Shrine of St. Berthold.
Very interesting. Guide well-informed and intelligent. Give him
nothing on principle. Follows us to the Alten Schloss, shouting at
the top of his voice, and shaking his fists.

10 a.m.—Go all over the Schloss. Capital state of preservation.
Are shown the " reserved apartments." Refuse to give anything to
the concierge. He comes out after us with a horse-whip. The
Guide still there shouting. We ask the way to tomb of Gustavus
the Ninth. Crowd follows us with brickbats.

11 a.m.—Get in by the assistance of a very civil Commissionnaire.
Striking. Are shown the boots of Charlemagne, and the spot where
Rudolph the Eighteenth was assassinated. Sign our names in
visitors' book. Give nobody anything. Commissionnaire walks by
our side, calling us " Brigands! " Crowd enormous. Symptoms of
riot commencing. Reach station exhausted.

12 Noon.—Prepared to pay anything to escape. Take seven first-
class tickets (express), and. are charged nineteen thalers for excess
of luggage. Get off in a storm of execration, after having to give
up all the bougies to a gendarme. Start, threatening feebly to write
to the Times, have hysterics, and go to sleep,

1 p.m.—Still hysterical.

2 p.m.—Ditto.

3 p.m.—Ditto.

4 p.m.—Ditto.

5 p.m.—Ditto.

6 p.m.—Arrive. Refuse to hire a voiture. Tell the omnibus con-
ductor, with the aid of the Phrase-book, that his tariff of fares is
"utterly ridiculous." Set out on foot in search of a gasthaus of
moderate pretensions, where no English have been to demoralise the
landlord and raise the prices.

7 p.m.—Still searching.

8 p.m.—Ditto.

9 p.m.—Ditto.

10 p.m.—Ditto.

11 p.m.—Find what we want at last, in a dark alley, turning out
of a side street, running precipitously to the river. Dine at the late
table d'hote with one commercial traveller, on pickled cherries, raw
bacon, cabbage, sugar biscuits, horseflesh, and petrified figs.

12 Midnight.—Retire, and have nightmare.

1 a.m.—Endeavour to sleep on three chairs and a washhand-stand.
Can't. Determine to write to the Times.

2 a.m.—Left writing.

To BE OEEERED TO THE MANES OF THE POOR PRINCE IMPERIAL.-

A Vi-CAREYous Sacrifice.