Punch (77.1879)

ob PUNCH, Oft tHE LONDON CHARIVARI. ("August 30, 1879.

PIC-NICS.

If ttte Sun were not Broiling, and tiie Sand didn't get into the Salad, and the Rocks were soft and smooth, and
there were no hornets, and one hadn't to oo three-quarters of a mlle for water, what a tame affair a plc-nic

would be !

" A CHIP OP THE OLD BLOCK ! "

Khedive Junior, loquitur :—

All An! Bismillah! Bother them, I say,
Those brand-new Frankish boots. Take them away !
Toe-pinching torture is not to my fancy
To-day.

I much prefer my banished Sire's old slippers
To those new-fangled Infidel toe-nippers.
I won't be pinched to please those graspy, greedy
Bond-grippers.

Take them away ! They may be all the go
In Paris, London, but the Egyptian toe
Has not a Chinese beauty's squeezability,
Ah, no!

Talk of Egyptian bondage ? If the Giaour
Can bear such pedal stricture for an hour,
The dog must be as tough, or as elastic,
As dour.

Tight-fits may suit the "West, 'tis Eastern use
To wear our garments, like our morals, loose.
He who courts corns and bunions must be truly
A goose.

Aha! They 're sweetly sold, those sons of Sheitan,
Who thought my Sire's son into fits to frighten,
Wishing my purse-strings, like my loose pantoufles,
To tighten.

Blundering botchers! Cobblers void of skill!
Think they to bend the stubborn Orient will ?
Their boots hoot nothing, and their labour's issue
Is nil!

I hope they like Egyptian darkness. Dogs !
Floundering about 'midst our financial fogs.
They find the Egyptian donkey does not gallop—
It jogs!

Son vice Sire displaced ! Oho! what fun!
The Giaour discovers 'tis " like sire like son."
Ismail, thou art avenged, and those who wronged thee
Are done!

Ah, Allah ! I could dance with sheer delight.
The family slippers fit me—oh ! yes, quite.
Slave, take those boots, and tell the Franks I find 'em
Too tight I

[Left performing a pas seul en pantoufles.

Bismarck and Banting.

A morning contemporary supplies the following information with
respect to

"Prince Bismarck.—It is stated in Berlin that one result of the stay of
Prince Bismarck at Kissingen has been a considerable reduction of his
weight and bulk."

Of his bulk, perhaps ; and it may be none the worse for the Great
Chancellor that his shadow is less than it was. But his weight
apparently remains, in European politics, at least, as great as ever.

A Country Sell.

Native Joker {dissembling). It's been very fine here for the last
week. ,

Tourist {who has been kept in by the showers, indignantly). What s
been very fine here ?

Native. The rain. Very fine rain.

{Exit Native Joker, hurriedly.