Punch (77.1879)

September 13, 1879.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

119

"ONE TOUCH OF NATURE."

{George has promised Ms Ethel the first shot, for heck ! A covey rises I)
Ethel (at the critical moment). " Oh, Geoege ! perhaps they too have Loved!"

THE ABLUTION OF SMOKE ?

Hope has a bad character for being addicted to telling flattering
tales. Is one of them the recently published promise that there is
about to be an end of all those execrable nuisances, the ugly, black
smoke-belching, sky-begriming tall chimneys ?

Is it really true that a Mr. Johnson, Manager of Mr. Beaumont's
Lead "Works in Northumberland, has invented flues and machinery,
by means of which smoke can actually be washed clear of soot and
noxious gases, its remainder, after purification, being merely harm-
less vapour; escaping and mingling with the atmosphere sweet and
clean ?

Can it be that this invention has not only been patented but put
to the proof; tried, and found to answer in several "plants," and,
particularly, on a large scale, at the Engineering "Worka of Messrs.
Goodfellow, Hyde ? If successful experimenters pro bono publico,
as well as for their own boot, Messrs. Goodfellow are indeed to be
accounted among the best of fellows.

Has fact demonstrated the truth of the statement that the various
products said to be washed out of the smoke can be collected and
utilised, so as to become remunerative ? In that case, what an
improvement, for manufacturers, on any contrivance for enabling
them to consume their own smoke are arrangements of which the
operation may be described as ex fumo dare lucrum !

Doubtless every British Manufacturer in his senses would rather
wash his smoke clean than let it poison the air, if he was quite sure
its purification would be less expensive than its waste. Otherwise,
he"would be unworthy of the name of a British Manufacturer.

What a blessing both for all who benefit, and for everybody that
is aggrieved, by smoke and soot, will the devices alleged to have
been accomplished for the ablution of the latter from the former,
and therewith the abatement of stench also, prove, should they be
found to be not only practicable but also profitable, and, notwith-
standing that hoaxes are now in season, should the announcement
of effectual appliances for the prooess of smoke-washing not itself
turn out to be all smoke !

ROUGHING IT ON THE RIGI.

(Extra page for the Tourists Companion.)

Conversation on a Ktjlm.

There is scarcely comfortable accommodation in this room for
thirteen.

"We would rather sleep inside the hotel than in the lake.
Are you the proprietor, or the coalheaver ?

"Why do you hit me with a ruler on the cheek, the eye, the neck,
the calves, the cuffs, and the breast bone ?

Is that the hair of my friends that you have in both your hands ?

Do not throw those gentlemen over a precipice.

Could you oblige me with a bandage, a yard of sticking-plaister, a
warm bath and a doctor ?

Are these assailants in white neckties brigands in evening dress ?

Why does the M.P. cry " Murder ! " ?

Is that an Oxford Celebrity or a portmanteau leaving the hotel
hurriedly by the window ?

I have not seen the new direct route to Arth, over head-and-heels
down the mountain side, which you undertake to show me, alluded
to in Murray.

Ah, here is the litter, the medical man, materials for making my
will, a firm of solicitors, and a return ticket.

Specialty of a Public School.

Oe whatever description may be the sorts of Food wont to be pro-
vided for the body, as also for the mind, of Youth in the generality
of Public Schools, there is one, at least, of those seats of learning—
and teaching—at which the very best of meals must, if there is any-
thing at all in a name, be supposed to be supplied to the scholars;
namely, of course, Eton College.

"Not before the Box" (for £150 a year).—Mutton he can't eat.