Punch (77.1879)

November 1, 1879.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 13-

THE SCIENTIFIC CORPS.

Colonel (sternly, pointing to large Cobweb in a corner of tlie Stables). " What d'ye call that, Sir ? "

Young Subaltern (fresh from the Academy). "That, Sir, is the "Web of the Arachnida SedentariA Domestica, or Common
House-Spider. "We conquer him during the day, Sir, but he gets the better of us at night. He is considered a model

of Perseverance ! Of course, Sir, you remember the Story of Bruce and-"

[Exit Colonel, hastily, muttering something about the "Service going ''—somewhere.

LOVE AND WEDLOCK IN SALUTERRA.

(From a Romance o/a.d. 2054.)

The sun was setting with well-tempered warmth—for even the
orb of day had learnt moderation in this Region of the Blest—over
the scientifically-constructed and thoroughly sanitarised houses,—
five houses to the acre, and five inmates to the house,—of Richard-
sonopolis, the capital of Saluterra. The children were singing
scientific part-songs .in the snow-white and spacious streets as they
trooped merrily home from the school that was delight, or exercised
their muscles in friendly rivalry on comfortably padded bicyoles.
Few grown persons were visible. The elite of both sexes—and nine
out of ten of the inhabitants were included under the title—having
finished their aesthetic or scientific occupations of the earlier day, were
now engaged in their lighter occupations, some of composing
operas and ballets, others of writing plays, perfect in concep-
tion, faultless in construction, flawless in taste, and consummate
in expression. Lions and tigers, their native ferocity transformed
to gentleness by the refining influences about them, were giving
their willing aid to the rougher work inseparable from even Salu-
terraneouB agriculture, leaving its lighter tasks to the lower order
of the inhabitants,—lower, but yet how lofty !

The one unfortunate Saluterranean at that moment hors de combat
—if indeed such existence can be called a combat—from the accident
of a sprained ancle at foot-ball, was being pleasantly fanned back to
health in the luxurious retreat appropriated to the few pensioners of
the commonwealth who had oceasion to accept the freely proffered
benefits of its superior accommodation, consummate nursing, and
scientifically studied dietary. What need of medicine under the bene-
ficent operations of the sanitary conditions of Saluterra ?

Reclining on a scientifically inclined couch, in the shady and
fragrant garden crowning the roof of her father's spacious mansion,
tired out with toying with her pet of the period, a domesticated young

elephant, lay the fair Idalia—a ripening maiden of some forty sum-
mers. At her side stood a table with the evening meal of luscious
fruits and cunningly-prepared cereals, pulse, and fresh garden pro-
duce. On her lap lay an open volume of The Sanitary Retrospect, from
which she turned from time to time to toy with a morsel of dainty
cream-cheese, nibble at a fairy slice of bread and honey, or partake
lazily from a plate of strawberries immersed in the richest cream,—
for the cows, too, in this happy land, paid tribute to the blessedness
of the place, turning out on the average ten pounds of butter by
the week, or, when their produce was consumed in the liquid form,
the milk of three pints of cream daily. To such more perfected per-
fection had the natural lactiferousness of the Alderney been carried
by the system of Saluterra, and the confidence engendered by the
knowledge that the butcher was banished from this Happy Land !

" Strange! " she murmured, as she lifted her eye from her book,
" that little more than two hundred years ago the world should have
been so benighted ! Fancy a land—one, too, claiming the first place
in the civilisation of that day—in which Government offices,
politicians, sailors, soldiers, doctors, and butchers could find a
living ! And the ladies' dresses, too !—so utterly unsanitary, if not
quite unbecoming, to judge from that curious old record, La Follet."
And she turned from the quaint reproductions of tie-backs and
gipsy-bonnets to glance over her own well-considered oostume, which
included an easy blouse, ample trousers,"and suspenders, brightly
embroidered with sanitary gnomes, crossing on back and breast.

At this moment a light but masculine step sounded on the soaghola
stairs which led up to the aerial garden. Idalia coloured, as,
raising her eyes, she exclaimed, rather sharply than sweetly, " So !
Here you are again ! "

" Yes, here I am again ! " sighed the new-comer as he dropped
into a seat at her side. He was a gallant youth, of some forty:five,
in the prime of early manhood. " And could I help it ? In vain all
the curious Crustaceans, the many-hued Molluscs, the ravishing
Radiata, strove to woo me to their arms during my lonely submarine
rambles, in my self-aerating subaqueous suit, along the floors of the