Punch (77.1879)

January 3, 1680.J PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 30j

A* r^EODLU E.CY I ON' OF - THOMAS • FVA E D « R,- y4 - L - Trf E. .fEAR ■ /87*9 ,

CONVIVIAL CULTUEE'S NEW TEAL'S EVE.

Mr. Punch has been favoured with the following :—

" Avalon by Caerlaon. Eve of a Dying Year.

" My Quaint and Charging Friend,

" For so, my dear Mr. Punch, I think 1 may be allowed to address you—I want you, who so
truly appreciate the fresh spirit that animates us, to let me offer your readers a few hints _ as to the
only possible [esthetic fashion in which culture can stoop to the celebration of that revel of Philistinism,
the modern holiday. I would teach you, and those who, like you, strain with aching eyes towards that
subtler beauty, which neither you nor they can understand, how to greet the awaking of another—

' Long and languid year.'
" And first, understand that the spirit of the Old World Masque-."

**********
Press of matter obliges Mr. Punch to condense the interesting communication of his cultured corre-
spondent.

He has, however, run roughly through his ten pages of very cramped manuscript, and the following
will be found a pretty complete precis of its contents :—

On the evening of the 31st December, ask all the people you know to"look in at about eleven, in cotton-
velvet doublets, tight silk hose, and frizzy hair.

When your guests are assembled in rooms without carpets, but hung with worm-eaten tapestry,
very yellow Old Church lace, and Venetian mirrors, and set about with ancient settees, too rickety to
recline upon, and angular chairs that go over if sat down on un-medipevally, go out into the street
with your family (in silk tights), and accompany yourselves on various three-stringed instruments,
a mediaeval hand-organ, a ring of bells, a pipe and tabor, and timbrels, in a "Nowell," until stopped by
sneezing or ordered off by the police.

Come in and pose a bit, and get warm, if you can, on & supper copied from a rare Florentine menu
of Francesco della Indigestibile, the chief feature of which should be a cold pasty of Ligurian ortolans,
served up with slices of raw cabbage.

Hang about listlessly, addressing young Ladies as " damosel," their Mammas as " Lady mine," and
any fellow you do or don't know, as Sir Knight." Keep this up till the ortolan pasty begins to tell on
the company, and then get as many of the guests as you can to form a procession in the street outside,
and with a Middle Age motet or carol, to wake the long and languid Year.

If this doesn't bring the neighbourhood down on you, and necessitate a visit in the early morning- to the
nearest police-court, go home and pledge " the fleeting tide of time " in the nearest approach to Ypocras
or Mnlvoisie as drunk by the Troubadours, that you can get at your "Stores," and go to bed con-
gratulating yourself that you have seen the New Year in in a spirit of true aesthetic culture.

N.B.—If your hair is much frizzled, take care you don't go too near the gas.

The above is pretty much what Mr. Punch makes of the aesthetic programme, which he recommends
to those of his readers—if any—to whom the old-fashioned Philistine way of seeing the Old Year out
and the New Year in, is a pain and a reproach.

" AT BAY! »

Ringed by the wild and wolfish
pack,

In dense and denser bands-
Above him storm-clouds low-
ering black,
Around him snows and
sands—
A moment, borne by numbers
back,

At bay the Lion stands!

His back against the rifted
rock,

Not firmer rooted there
Than he against the assailant's
shock,

With savage fangs set bare,
Reckless how many thousands
flock

Down from their mountain-
lair.

Not his nor ours to ask the why
Or wherefore of the fray,

That thus before a wolfish crj
The Lion brings to bay—

Of strength for nobler
empery,
And less ignoble prey.

Enough, the Lion's of our
blood,

And to the work addrest,
For which stern duty, ne'ei
withstood,
Hath on him laid behest,
Bidding him make his Empirt
good

North and south, east and
west!

So while our Lion stands at
bay,

Our prayers must be foi
him,

That his strong arms may
cleave their way,
His clear e3Tes wax not dim,
Till Lion-prowess shall o'er-
sway

Wolf-numbers, gaunt and
grim!

ANGLO-IRISH IDEAS.

Bespeaking the Hudders-
field Liberal Club, and re-
ferring to Home-Rule, Mr.
E. A. Leatham, M.P., said :—

" He should be very glad to
see strictly Irish business trans-
ferred at once from London to
Dublin. He would also like to
see Ireland governed according
to Irish ideas."

If Irish business could be
transferred from London to
Ireland, Imperial business
would, no doubt, be less im-
peded. But, then, Mr. Lea-
tham, if you ever live to see
Ireland governed by Irish
Ideas, how much Irish busi-
ness of any kind do you ex-
pect to see done in Dublin,
or anywhere ? Sure, your
Honour, aren't Irish Ideas of
business, as developed by Ire-
land's Representative Home-
Rulers, simply Obstruction ?