Punch: Punch (91.1886)

October 30, 1886.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 209

POET COSSE AND THE " QUARTERLY."

• a- ^-eview has Tied -with, review in fulsome and
mdiscriminating eulogy. . . . The men who
write bad books are the men who criticise them,"
,~ ' Quarterly Review," October, on Gosse.
Of late I have been accused from several
anonymous quarters of the vile and secret arts of
mutual puflery." — Gosse on the "Quarterly
Jienew." " Times," October.

Qtjabieelt pay was dear to man
Since or ever the -world 'began.
Chances vanish, and ventures cross,
Even sometimes for bards like Gosse ;
Since or ever the world began
Quarterly pay was dear to man.

But there's a something in quarterly pay
Which doesn't please all men alway !
Less than half-truth is a quarter-he,
Bound to be found out by-and-by;
Since or ever the world began, _
Quarterly pay has been strict with man.

Play straight and honest—for, if you don't,
The public meed 'tis receive you won t:
The mutual arts of puff and praise,
Even in these degenerate days,
Sink at last in the scorn they raise;
Since or ever the world began,
Quarterly pay has been straight with man.

Biographs potted of lives thrice told—
Resurrections of names of old—
Shaxspeaees, Popes, and the great who rest
Safe upon honour's scathless breast—
Plumes for the poetaster's crest!
But the buried great laugh at little man,
Since or ever the world began.

Quarterly once—so doth story tell—
Made a mistake, and far too well,
Killing from unkind strange conceits,
All the life out of Poet Keats !
History vainly herself repeats-
Quarterlies all were all at a loss,
To take the shine out of Poet Gosse.

Poet Dobson shall claim on high'
From Poet Gosse immortality!
And Poet Dobson shall shed the same,
No doubt, upon Poet Gosse's name,—
While a weak world wonders whence they
came,

And never a weakling dares deny

(For there 's no such thing as puffery)

To each his immortality!

Tet Quarterlies dare to say, for once,

That dunce's works are reviewed by dunce.

Shocking! Anonymous donkeys speak
Bpnkey's dislike of a cultured clique—
( Fudge," by Goldsmith ; but now called

'cheek"—)
Yet since or ever the world began,
Quarterly reckoning's good for man!

A LAST IDEA ABOUT "HAMLET."

We have_ had it presented in all sorts
of ways, with and without scenic effects,
new ghosts and old ghosts, dark-haired
and light-haired Hamlets, and it has
also been done into an Opera. But why
not as a Ballet ? All the soliloquies could
be pas seuls, the great scene between
Hamlet and Ophelia could be a pas de
deux, and what's varieties of eccentric
steps there might be in Ophelia's mad
dance and exit! Then what oppor-
tunities are offered by a comic boorish
dance of gravediggers! As for the play
within a play, that could be a panto-
mime. The Empire has not hitherto been
a lucky theatre, but if it is to open
again with an entertainment similar to
that given at_ the Eden Theatre, the
management might do worse than adopt
. „ - -. ,, this suggestion. It will not he difficult

Pas de Deux. Hamlet and Ophelia. Tableau. to find learned commentators to start

the question whether there is not strong internal evidence pointing to the fact that Hamlet

PasSeul. Samlet. « To be, or not to bo ? » Fas de la Folie. Ophelia. Mad Scene

was originally intended by Shakspeaee for a ballet. A few scraps of scenario or charpente,
would be sufficient warrant for the theory.

Misnomee. — The Skinners' Company
have offered to seU their 35,000 acres in
County Londonderry a real bargain, for-
giving all sins of omission to pay rent in
the past and present. A Guild that behaves
so liberally forfeits all claim to the title of

Skinners."

Out and In.—It was shown, in the
course of the Election Petition Trial, that
Mr. Lewis hadn't a leg to stand upon; and
now, being ousted, he can't even sit.
Awkward position! Mr. Punch congra-
tulates Mr. Justin M'Cabthy as being the
only one Just-in for Londonderry.

New Name eoe the Commissioner op
Cttx Police.—The Polite Phraser.