Punch (99.1890)

July 12, 1890.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

15

SUCH AN UNEXPECTED PLEASURE!

The great Advantage of having the Electric Light "brought to your very Door," without any previous Notice, on
the identical day, too, when you are giving a party, and your friends won't be able to get within some yards of
your House. And then, so nice for Ladies if it rains I

" A Nuisance! Nay, my children !" ('Tis Grandam Justice speaks.)
"Town butterflies may think so, and so may country ' beaks.'
The Oracle in Ermine declares you shan't resist
The tow-row, tow-row, tow-row of the loud Salvationist I

Traffic may be obstructed, and tympanums be rent,
Ti t ?v?*se may t^ure sufferers with sickness well-nigh spent;

+ te merely trifles. Your anguish may assist
ine tow-row, tow-row, tow-row of the loud Salvationist 1
'Our Belf-appointed saviours must work their noble will,
lhese shouters have small faith in the voice that's small and still.
Jilown brass and beaten parchment take heaven by storm. Then list
lo the tow-row, tow-row, tow-row of the loud Salvationist!
"The priests of Baal were noisy, but not so loud as Booth.
Charivari and clamour are vehicles of Truth.
At least that seems the notion on which these seers insist,
With the tow-row, tow-row, tow-row of the loud Salvationist!
"Without such little worries the world could not get on!
That sweet thought tempts Dame Justice the bonnet brown to don,
And smite the clanging sheepskin, and aid with voice and fist
The tow-row, tow-row, tow-row of the loud Salvationist!
"That sick child in her chamber may press an aching head,
The mother, bowed and broken, bend deafened o'er her bed.!
Regrettable, but needful, since freedom must exist
For the tow-row, tow-row, tow-row of the loud Salvationist! "
So Justice, in zeal's bonnet, so Jurymen in haste'
What are the claims of comfort, health, common-sense or taste,
Compared with those of brainless Noise, our new evangelist,
And the tow-row, tow-row, tow-row of the loud. Salvationist!

De la Part de Mlle. Sainte-Nitouche.—A demure Spinster
says she is quite against the Early Closing Movement, and hopes the
shops will keep open as late as possible. " ' Early closing' means,"
Bhe explains, " ' early shopping,' and I should blush to commence
my rounds before the windows are properly ' dressed.' "

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WEEK BY WEEK.
The Season has now only some three weeks to run. Already
careful dowagers are having themselves packed in chintz or old
newspapers, and fathers of feminine families are beginning to emerge
from the lurking places in which they had sought refuge with their
cheque-books. The number of detrimentals has been calculated to
amount to three times the number of first editions of the Star news-
paper, plus a mean fraction of a child's Banbury cake, multiplied by
the nod of a Dachess to a leader of Society in Peckham Rye.

From the Canton of Koblinsky a report reaches us that the Deputy
Grand Master of the Koblinsky Einspiinner has met with a some-
what alarming accident. As he was going his rounds last week,
aocompanied by his faithful Pudelhund, he observed a mark lying on
the pavement. On stooping to pick it up, he was unfortunately mis-
taken for a Bath bun by his canine companion, and before help
could be secured he had been partly devoured. However, all that
was left of him has been packed in ice, and forwarded, with the
compliments of the Municipality, to the Emperob.

The Great-Western Railway Company intend, it is said, to make
unparalleled efforts to secure the comfort of those who may visit
Henley Regatta during the present week. All the ordinary trains
have been taken off, and special trains, timed to take at least half-
an-hour longer, have been substituted for them. As a special
concession, holders of first-class return tickets will be allowed to
travel part of the distance by omnibus. At Twyford Junction the
amusing game of follow-my-leader will be played by four locomotives
and a guard's van. The winning locomotive will then steam on to
Henley, and_upon its return passengers will proceed as usual.

Yesterday being the opening day of the Regatta, was observed as
a holiday by the natives of Henley. The ancient ceremonial of
" Prices up and money down," was, as usual, observed with proper
solemnity by all the burgesses of the little Oxfordshire town. There
was some boat-racing during the day; but it is beginning to be felt
that a stop should be put to this barbarous survival of the dark age s.