Punch (99.1890)

August 9, 1890.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

71

" RUNNING HIS EYE OVER
THEM."

Geandolph muses:—
" Mx Kingdom for a horse!"

Ah, well!
The question is,—which is my

Kingdom ?
I'm bound to own there is a spell
In Tuifdom, Stabledom, and

Kingdom,
The spell that Lord Geobge

Bentinck knew,
As Dizzy tells, I feel it too.

He won brief leadership, who
might

Have won the Derby! Which
was better ?
There's rapture in a racer's flight,
There's rust on the official
fetter.

Of me the Press tells taradiddles !
Well, I do set the fools strange
riddles!

"Fourth Party!" He was no
had start
Tor a new stable, but he's done
with.

'' Tory Democracy!" No heart!
But 'tis a mount I've had good
fun with.

"Leader!" "Economy!" "So-
briety!"

My Stable has not lacked variety.

What does North say ? A ragged
lot?

Try a new string? And you,

Dunraven ?
Humph! Fancy dees blow cold

and hot.
Audacious now, and now half

craven.

Well, freak's an unexhausted
fount.

Mentor, can you guess my next
mount ?

A CAREFUL MAN.

Host. "Hullo! wateeino my Champagne I Afraid op its

getting into your B.EAD, 1 suppose 1 "

Guett. " No ! It's not mt Head I'm afraid of with your
Champagne I"

MY PITHY JAYNE.

[Dr. Jayne, Bishop of Chester, at
a Conference of the Girl's Friendly-
Society, at Chester, said that until
they were prepared to introduce basket-
making into London Society as a sub-
stitute for quadrilles and 'waltzes, he
was not dispoted to accept it as an
equivalent for balls and dances among
girls of other classes.]

Air.—" My Pretty Jane."

My pithy Jayne, my plucky
Jayne,

Punch fancies you looked sly
When you met them, met them

down at Chester,
And gave them " one in the

eye."

Bigotry's waning fast, my boy,

But Cant we sometimes hear,
And Chester cant is pestilent cant,

My Lord, that's pretty clear.
Then pithy Jayne, my plucky
Jayne,

Of smiting don't be shy ;
But meet them, meet the moon-
struck Puritans

And tell them it's all my eye.

'Tis only play, and harmless play,

Like kissing in the ring,
When lads and lasses of spirits
gay

Dance like young lambs in
Spring.

That Spring will wane too fast,
alas!

But while it yet is here,
Let youth enjoy, or girl or boy,

The dance to youth so dear.
Then pithy Jayne, my plucky
Jayne,
Don't heed the bigot's cry,
But meet them, meet them down
at Chester
And teach them Charity !

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTBACTED FB.OM THE DI&HY OF TOBT, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday, July 28. —Stbatheden and Camp-
bell are amongst the most regular visitors to our lobby from House
of Lords. Ravenswobth and Umbrella run

said Stratheden; "so modest, so retiring, so thoughtful! After
we'd been known as Campbell and Stratheden for good many
years, you came to me and said it was my turn now. I objected;
you insisted ; and here we are, a power in the State, an object of
interest in the Commons, Stratheden and Campbell in the Lords."

" A little awkward, don't you think," I ven

them pretty close, hut come inonly a good second. ir~<-k tured to say, edging in a word, "for you two

Moreover, whilst Ravensworth and TJmbhella g\f%p! fellows to take this .strong, stand against

rarely go beyond the lobby, Strathed*n and 4&fij$k duality ? "

Campbell press forward into Gallery reserved •P'jIinY "Not at all," said Stratheden and Cahp-
for Peers, and there sweetly go to sleep, "Like i^CnPfi^' bell, both together; "we are authorities on
Babes in the Wood," says Colonel Malcolm, jj^S^^W^jm^ the subject, and we say that the Markiss cannot
turning over leaves of Orders as if he would like 'n h*s 8insle pers011 adequately perform the
to complete the simile by acting the part of the ^^^^f^^^^Mitt^^^ dual duties pertaining to his high offices ; there-
birds. To-night Stratheden and Campbell /MM/¥^moi^^^v^^^m, f°re we s^ia'-' g0 anc' move om resolution pro-
leave us forlorn. They have business in their wiaBS^IifflliHi^P testing against arrangement."
own House ; been long concerned for interests IW^mf^Mm^^^U^ Pretty to see them marching off. Always
of State as affected by the Markiss's persistence irfiW ^BMjWrjB walk on tip-toe ; Rosebery says it is a practice
in combining office of Premier with that of 'Aw MKy {(r iJak adopted so as not to disturb each other when en-
Foreign Secretary. JT £mll \ mvi^ gaged in thinking out deep problems; two of
"It would be too much even for us," said <C_ JmW/i/UUt: NfflDP the ^est anc* t'le naPPiest old fellows in the
Stratheden, in conversation we had before Mk /WmMMM^mM^ world; their only trouble is that on divisions
House met; "and," he continued, " though I ^S^^M^Umil^PWr 3\ their vote should count as only one. Campbell,
say it what shouldn't, I don't know any arrange- ^^LMsHHRb/JmbV r \ in whom hot Cupar blood flows, once proposed
ment that would be happier or more compltte ^^^W^M^ME^^^V *° Ta'fe question of privilege, but soothed by
than if we undertook the job. What do you *ffi(W!mM Stratheden, who has in him a strong strain
say, Campebu? "Would you be Premier, or vm^Knmmm w$Mm%m of the diplomatic character of his grandfather,
w°uld you take the Foreign Seals?" WtMiTWB ^mmF Abingeb.

Ihe Premier place is yours," said Camp- vnK |r/ Business done.—In the Lords, Stratheden

bell, gallantly ; " at least, it is now. When TwmW'Wk anli 9AMrBELL raised question of Markiss as

we first started, in life we used to call ourselves WmJim J^jH^ Premier and Foreign Secretary. In Commons,

Campbell and Stratheden. You'll find it so . MJuIIm^-2S^~ Anglo-German Agreement sanctioned.

"Ju PeKra9es of earlier date ; now it's the «w<-3\ j% ? . Tuesday—Scotch Members had their innings

otherj way about, and Stratheden takes the lISs CJ^ to-night; played a pretty stiff game till, attwelve

^"fin-i, o'clock, stumps drawn. All about what used to

Ihat was entirely your doing, Campbell, Turning over fresh Leaves. be called the Compensation Bill. Got a new