Punch (99.1890)

September 6, 1890.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

TH£ DOCTRINE OF " HINTERLAND."

These thkee Gentlemen do not play the Game, but wish- to take a Moening "Walk by the Sea..

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

The Baron has recently
been reading a new work,
disinterestedly recom-
mended to him by M.
Roqtms, the French pub-
lisher and French book-
seller of Bond Street,
entitled L'Ame de Pierre,
by Geobges Ohnet. It is
a strangely; fascinating
Btory; the picturesque de-
scriptions transport us to
the yery places ; and the
studies of life, are, speci-
ally of certain phases of
French life, most interest-
ing to an English reader.
The cosmox5olitan Baron
De B. W. wishes that
Frenchmen, howevermanly
they may be, were not so
easily and so constantly
moved to tears. This
however, is only a matter
of taste. What the pur-
pose of the novel may be
—for Geoeges Ohnet has
written this with a pur-
pose—is not quite evident.
Whether it is intended to chime in with the popular theme of hypno-
tism, and illustrate it in a peculiar way, or whether it is merely
illustrating Hamlet's wise remark that, There is more in heaven
and earth than is dreamt of in your philosophy," the Baron is at a loss
to determine. It is psychological, it is materialistic, it is idealistic, it is
philosophical, it is . . . French. The Vacuus Viator may have a
worse companion on a long journey than L'Ame de Pierre.

Talking of materialistic, "let us," quoth the Baron, "be grateful
to Mrs. de Salis for a bookful of ' Tempting^ Dishes for Small
Incomes' published by Longmans & Co." First of all get your
small income, then purchase this book, for eighteenpence, or less
with discount; or (a shorter and a cheaper way) borrow it from a
friend. Let the Small Incomer cast his watery eye over Lobster cutlets,
p. 19, and LobBter pancakes: let him reduce his small income to some-
thing still smaller in order to treat himself and family to a Rumpsteak
d la bonne bnuche, a Sausage pudding, and a Tomato curry. The
sign over a Small-Income House is the picture of a Sheep's Head,
usually despised as sheepish: but go to p. 28, and have a tete-d-tete
{de mouton) with Mrs. de Salis about Sheep's head au Gratin.

Rabbit batter rjudding, eh ? with shalot d discretion. How's
that for high? Let the Small Incomer get some dariole tins,
mushrooms, chives, rabbits, tripe, onions, oil, ducks, eggs, and with
egg kromeskies he'll dine like a millionnaire, and be able to
appreciate a real epigram of Lamb (not Chakles) and Peas. Don't
let the Man with a Small Income be afraid of trying Un Fritot de
Cervelle de Veau, simply because of the name, which might do
honour to the menu of a Lt/cttlltjs. _ "Blanch the Brains" for this
dish—delicious !—"and fry till a nice golden colour." Beautiful!
Nice golden colour like dear Blanche's hair: only often that's
a Blanche without brains. And now your attention, my Small In-
comer, to Eggs d la Bonne Femme. This work ought to be arranged
as a cateohism: in fact all cookery books, all receipt books, should
be in the form of Question and Answer.

Question.—Now, Sir, how would you do Eggs d la Bonne Femme ?

Perhaps this query might be preceded by general information as
to who the particular "bonne femme" (for she must have been a
very particular bonne femme) was to whom so many dishes are
dedicated. [In the Scotch McCookery books, Broth o' the Qude-wife
would be a national name.]

Answer.—To make Eggs d la Bonne Femme, Mrs. de Salis says,
" Get as many eggs as there are guests (they should all be the same

size)-" Now this is a difficulty. It is not an easy matter to

assemble round your table a party of guests " all the same size : "
still more difficult is it to get together a lot of eggs all the same size
as the guests. But, when this has been got over, read the remainder
at p. 55, and then, as Squeers's pupils used to have to do, go and
reduce the teaching to practice.

The receipt for Potatoes d la Lyonnaise begins with, " Mince an

onion, and fry it in hot butter"- 0 rare! Why do more?

Who wants potatoes after this ? And, when you've had quite enough
of it, smoke a pipe, drink a glass of whiskey-and-water, go to an
evening party, and then, if you won't be one of the most remark-
able advertisements for cette bonne femme Madame de Salis, why
I don't live in Baronion Halls, and my name's no longer

The Baeon de Booe:-Woems.

P.S.—So many persons have sent in touching requests to the Baron
only to notice their books with one little word, that his library table
groans under their weight. To about a hundred of them that one
little word might be '' Bosh!"—but even then they'd be pleased.

THE NEW STOCKING.

[The Chancellor of the Exchequer has announced that the Treasury
hare decided to enable the small investor in Consols, upon a written request
to the Bank of England, to have his dividends re-invested as they arise, and
thus automatically accumulated without further trouble on his part.— Times ]

Oh, it was the old Lady of Threadneedle Street,
And she held up her Stocking (ne'er used for her feet),
And she ups, and says she, " I've an excellent notion ;
Leastways, 'tis one borrowed from Cohes by Goschen ;

Which nobody can deny !

" The cash that you put in my Stocking, my dears,
Will grow by degrees, if you leave it for years.
By your dividends ? Ah! you draw them, girls and boy?,
And spend 'em, the Times says, in sweets and in toys ;

Which nobody can deny!

" How very much better to let 'em remain;
Ee-invest 'em, in fact! An original brain
Has bit on that capital notion, at length,
And I'm game for to back him with all my old strength,
Which nobody can deny!

" Leave your dividends in my—suppose we say hose—
And the cash, snowball-like, gathers fast as it goes.
So my—Stocking (I must use the word) will be seen,
The latest and best Automatic Machine,

Which nobody can deny!

" Think, children,'of Ac-cu-mu-la-tive Con-sols !
Much better than bull's eyes, and peg-tops, and dolls!
Yes, this is the notion, exceedingly knowin',
Which Goschen, the Chancellor, borrows from Cohen,
Which nobody can deny !

"To the Nation friend Cohen's idea's a great gift;
It should lend such a "vigorous impulse to thrift; "
Leave your coin in my Stocking—in time it will double,
Without giving you, what a Briton hates, Trouble!

Which nobody can deny!

" Then think'of the saving in potions and pills,
And the fall in that very bad stock—Doctor's Bills—
When your Dividends no longer spoil girls and boys
With per-ni-ci-ous sweets, and with re-dun-dant toys,

Which nobody can deny !
" So, dear Little Investors, I trust you '11 come flocking,
Like bees to the hive, to my last style of Stocking,
My new, automatic, self-mending, smart hose,
In which cash, left alone, gathers fast as it goes,

Which nobody can deny!"