Punch: Punch (101.1891)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAEI.

[August 1, 1891.

RIDING THE PIG.

[Mr. Healy said he did not deny that after five years of liberal education the present Chief Secretary had greatly
improved. ... In reply to Mr. Balfour's inquiry, whether he could count upon Mr. Healy's support in a Local
Government Bill for Ireland, Mr. Healy replied, " Certainly ! "]

Ah ! Spur, whip, and bridle are all very well, Too good to be true P That time only can show.

For a rider's equipment includes some "Coercion," 'Tis something- that Piggy should promise to "go
But Jehu may need an additional spell,

Whether riding a race or for simple diversion.
There are reasons for giving a racer his head.
And some flocks are driven and others are led.

Improved ? Whillaloo! Fancy Healy the hot
Politely approving of "Balfourthe Brutal" !
How pleasant to picture the Pig at full trot,

Your Pig is a " gintleman,"—take him aright;

Or so those maintain who best know the 'cute
creature.

If you make him "eat stick" in excess he Tl show
fight.

Ihe goad and the snout-ring we 've tried. This new
feature—

Without that "hard riding " some fancy must suit , A lure in advance—may be worth being tried,
all! That Piggy can go—and this rider can ride !

ENTHUSIASM A LA BUSSE !

Scese—A Bureau de Pol ice at St. Petersburg. Present, Russian Bigwig and Subordinate.

Russian Bigwig {reading letter). "And they are to lie received with the greatest possible enthusiasm ! " I
can scarcely believe my eyes! The Fleet of the French Republic!
Subordijiate {using a Muscovite imprecation). Caviare droslci!

Bus. Big. {severe'/?/). Slave ! (Sub. cringes.) Another word, and I will have you knouted to death ! It is
the wish of our Little Father, the Czar of the Universe.

[They both fall on their knees, remove their hats, and sing the National Hymn.
Sub. {bowing to the ground). And what are the Imperial wishes ?

Bus. Big. That not only
shall the " Marseillaise "
be tolerated when played
by the French, but also be
performed by our own
bands. 1 With a burst of
rage.) Oh, Caviare droski.'

Sub. {on his knees). I
would also add an oath, 0
Supreme Protector-of-the-
Spirit-of-my-dead-Grand-
mother, had you not
forbidden that extreme
expression of opinion.

Bus. Big. You recall me
to myself, 0 Son-of-peter-
son-of-Peter-sou-of -
Peter-son-of-Tommy. I
was wrong. But it makes
my blood boil to think that
our Master and his ances-
tors who scorned Louis
Philippe and Napo-
leox III. should recognise
a Republic !

Sub. {aside). Say you so
—this to the Czar—thou
Nihilist! {Aloud.) My
Lord-the-comforter-of-the-
spirit-of-my-tirst-cousin-
once - removed- on-my-mo-
ther's-side, is indeed right!
It is a painful sight!

Bus. Big. {aside). Say
You so—this to the Czar—
thou Nihilist! {Aloud.) But
perhaps we might improve
matters. Supposing that the
" Marseillaise" were im-
perfectly performed ?

Sub. {tcith note-book).
Excellent, my Lord! ex-
cellent ! It shall be played
out of tune on a score of
regimental bands! Good,
my Lord ! good!

Bus. Big. And could not
a translation be furnished
suggesting ideas foreign to
the original ?

Sub. Again capital, my
Lord. I will see that the
troops have a version that
gives the old legend (stolen
from us by the English) of
" The Song of Sixpence, or
a pocketful of Rye-bread,"
as the real translation.

Bus. Big. A happy
thought ! The moral is
wholesome. The Mo-
narchical principle is advo-
cated in the approved
counting out of monev and
consumption of bread and
honey by their Majesties,
and the right of life and
death is suggested by the
pecking off of the nose of
the housemaid while em-
ployed in hanging out the
clothes ! And about the
troops—have they been
warned that they might
some day be expected to
give a hated alien an en-
thusiastic reception ?

Sub, They have, my
Lord. And in anticipation
of such an occasion, they
have been taught for the
last six months how to
cheer in a whisper.

Bus. Big. Good! And
now to a pleasanter duty.
Have you those hundred