Punch: Punch (101.1891)

December 19, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

293

Culch. Just so. Do you know, Podbury, I almost think I '11 go
down and find her. I—I'm curious to hear what her impressions of
a place like this are. Such a scene, you know,—so full of asso-
ciations with—er—the splendours and cruelties of a corrupt past—
must produce a powerful effect upon the fresh untutored mind of an
American girl, eh ?

" THE BIG BIG D." ENCORE J).

Mr. W. S. Gilbert ought to have been engaged as Counsel in the
Duplany v. Duplany divorce case, when, attired in his wig, gown,
anu bands—Arthur. Sullivan's full bands of course—he could
have put the question which Mr. Gill had to make a pint of patting,

Mss T.'s voice {distinct/!/ from arena). I'd like ever so much to | ,->tftj as to the occasional use of strong
see Buffalo Bill run his Show m here—he'd just make this old a fm language. Set HkretticalLy," Firenza
circus hum! /'"/^j ■ /\ /a Mia" would have answered in her
Miss P.'s voice [indistinctly from topmost tier). Almost fancy it / ' ?," sweetest strain and with her most be-
all. . . . Senators — equites—popuhis —pullati . . . yellow sunlight / -%AJ/ Etching Florentine manner, "I never
striking down through vellarnan . . . crimsoned sand . . . mirmi/lo >\ iMHi L \ use a big big D." To her the Counsel,
fleeing before secutor . . . Did letian himself, perhaps, lolling over *4Mib T#i not Mr. Gill but Mr. Gil-bert, would
there on eubiculum ... &c, &c, &c. _ Sfclji ml 7 nave retorted musicallv, "What
Culch. rhe place appears to excite Miss Prendergast's enthusiasm, KmEfW^, -V' * 4 1 never'?" To him the fair Witness,
at all events ! [Sighs. JjmMSmwr replying' on consideration, " Well,—
Podb. Rath-er! But then she s no end of a classical swell, you M mWW^'y . hardly ever'" Then the chorus, led
know: \Sighs. W W^J W '/ by the Judge, Sir Francis Jeune, and

Culch. [putting his arm through Podbury's.) Ah, well, my dear
Podbury, one mustn't expect too much, must one'r

Podb. I don't, old chap—only I'm afraid she does. Suppose we
toddle back to the hotel, eh ? Getting near table d'hote time.

[They go oat arm-in-arm.

'ARRY IN ROME AND LONDON.

joined in by all the Jeuniors of his
Court, would have wound up this
' portion of the proceedings, if not

- V • harmoniously, at least tunefully. For

$ future reference, it would be known

, Big Big D-ivorce Case." How such occasional musical
outbursts would lighten the labours of the Court through many a
tedious case ! And in a cause un peu celebre like this, where there is a
crammed house and enthusiastic audience ready to take every point,
and risk possible expulsion rather than remain quiet, what a relief

A kind Correspondent calls Mr. Punch's attention to the fact that
'Arry the Ubiquitous crops up even in the Classics as Aeries, in I ^ W t f song-WOuld be to everybody's pent-up feelings and
fact, in Carmen lxxxiv of Catullus How proud 'Arry will be to bottled.up excitement. The comedy is all very well, but the finale is

hear of his classical prototype ! Our Correspondent 1' dropping into
verse." exclaims:—

Yes! Your Cockney is eternal;

Arrius speaks in 'Arry still:
Yaunts 'is "hincome " by paternal
" Hartful " tricks hup* 'Olborn Til.

How well he is justified may be
seen by a glance at the text of
Catullus :—

de arrio.

"CAommoda" dicebat, si quando com-
moda vellet [sidias :

Dicere, et "Ainsidias" Arrius in-
Et turn mirifice sperabat se esse
locutum.

Cum, quantum poterat, dixerat
/iinsidias."

tragic, the last scene of all being from the historical subject with
modern application representing Maries seated among the ruins
of what might have been a happy domestic life.

A PANNICK IN GILD HALL !

We've jist bin and had sitch a Pannick in the City as we ain't not
had since the prowd and orty Portogeese threttened to stop any more
old Port from leaving of their shores, unless we guv 'em up ever so
much of the hinside of Afrikey. Ah, that was a pannick that was,
and all us Waiters felt it severially, but her Majesty's Guvernment,
seeing at wunce the sollem natur of the threat, made such terrems as
settled the hole affair, and Port went down as ushal.

Well that was bad enuff in all conshense, but it was nothink to
what we has all bin threttened with, from the Lord Mare on his
r \ throne of power to the umblest waiter of his

^JSvJ» ^' royal estabeiiishmunt. I herd ony last week from
Credo, sic mater, sic Liber avunculus j ^Mg&!& ' k the Gildall Beedle, so it must be trew, that ever
ejus, uP^Ti I . * so many of what's called Comishunners of Suers

Sic maternus avus dixerit, atque Hy - %;'.f,' had cum a tearing down stairs from their place

_ x^j - p | up aDove, a cussin and a swearin like mad,

Catullus, Carmen lxxxiv. jf'. f| . _ becoz the Kumpany as was a jest beginnin for

Which—for the benefit of 'Arry ' to lite up our streets with Lectrissity, had writ-

himself, who is not perhaps familiar W ~W tin for to say as they coodn t get it dun for

with the " Lingo Romano "—though If / | niore nor another year Well that was bad

he may know something of a "Eo- Affl WM enuff for them as likes that tell-tail lite, but

dear to certain young sports- §9 wuss remanes behind, ' as the Pote says; audi

reelly ardly xpecs to be beleeved when I says,
as they threttened not to* lite up the onered Manshun Ouse to the
werry last! and as the gas has all a bin taken away, there wooden
have been not no lites, and consequently not no Dinner in that
grand Ome of Horspitallerty, not for twelve long weary hungry

mano

men, though not dearer to them than
'Aiiy the Classic in his Swell 0tber caterers,—may thus be very
ToSa"ry- freely adapted :—

'Arry to iiToxford gives the aspirate still
He cruelly denies to 'Ighgate '111;
Yet deems in diction he can ape the " Swell,"
And " git the 'ang of it'' exoeeding well.
Doubtless his sire, the 'atter, and his mother,
The hupper 'ousemaid, so addressed each other ;
For spite of all that wrangling Board Schools teach,
There seems heredity in Cockney speech.

Frederick the Great at Burlixgtox House.—"Bravo, Sir
President of the Royal Academy!" says Mr. Punch, U.P.B.B.,
enthusiastically; "a splendid lecture, Sir, that of yours last
Thursday, given to the architectural and other Academical students,
who, acting upon your advice, should be each one the architect of
his own fortune. Your sharply dashed-off portrait of The Grand
Monarque, the ' Roi Soleil, majestic in the many-storey'd wig,'—
the King being built up quite mon-architecturally,—' which encircled
his retreating brow,' was masterly. More power to your elbow, Sir
Frederick—that is, if you require it. Mr. Punch, Universal Pre-
sident of Brother Brushes, fraternally and cordially salutes you."

Latest js Massage.—Our friend, Mrs. Rah, says she will not be
' sham pooh'd ;" she will be either really pooh'd, or not pooh'd at all.

munse!

The shudder as run thro Gildhall when this was fust menshund,
the Beedel teUs me, was sumthink quite orful, and the langwidge
used, ewen by anshunt Deppertys, sumthink not to remember,
but sumthink to forget as soon as posserbel.

However, a gentle reminder from them as could do what they
threttind, whether it was six months' hard, or suspenshun from
wun of their own taU, red lamp postesses, brort them all to their
sewen senses, and everythink is to be reddy for the fust State Bank-
wet at the reglar hour'on the reglar day; and so the dedly wroth of
the grand old Copperashun is apeezed, and there is no longer enny
tork of a mighty band of hindignent Welshers a marching up to
Town to awenge the dedly hinsult with which their poplar Mon-
nark was threttined !

Wun of our werry cleverest Depputys said to me,—"Ah, Mr.
Robert, if our ennemys had reelly xtinguished all our light, I shoud
indeed have said, with the Pote, Habsent Homen .' "

I didn't kno a bit what he meant, but I rayther think it were
sumthink seesonnabel about Ome sweet Ome, or about the likker
" habsinth," wich I don't hold with. But I quite agreed with him.

Robert.

A Royal " Happy Thought " in Deceilber.—The Promise of May.