DOI issue:
July 12, 1856
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0025
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAR TV ART.
17
RHDE QUESTIONS TO A WIFE.
ell us, do you recollect
what jour feelings were im-
mediately after you had
given jour husband co'd
meat for dinner ? Did you
not fed ashamed, and angry
with yourself, and vow lb at
jou would never do so
again ?—Do you mean to
say you have never searched
your husband's pockets?
Have you not blushed a
papal scarlet when you
found that they containtd
- only some cigar - ends, a
; musty glove or two, a few
halfpence well pined with
■ biscuit crumbs, and, perhaps,
an old play bill ?— Can you,
also, lay your hand upon the
tea-caddy, aud solemnly de
CAPTAIN PEN.
Our readers are requested not to draw any uncharitable inference
from the absence of "Our Special Correspondent" from his proper
place in the triumphal procession of the Guards. Mr. Punch knows
that circumstances not at present to be dwelt upon, prevented the
appearance of " Our Special Correspondent," upon whom, on his way
with the troops to the Park, so many fair hands would have rained
roses. However, at the time we write, it has been decided to mark, in
as significant a manner a3 possible, the vital services of " Our Special
Correspondent" as the saviour of the remnant of the Crimean Army.
To this end, a herald (probably Mr. Planche, as the most acco aplished
equestrian) will ride upon a piebald horse (piebald, to mark the black
and white of letters), the herald wearing a tabard formed of a copy of
the Times. He will carry a magnificent gold inkstand (the gold from
the Ural mountains) in which will be a scow-white swan-quill. In this
manner will Captain Sword delight to honour Captain Pen.
GOOD EXERCISE FOR STOUT PERSONS.
A Few years back, there was p oduced at the Ode"on in Paris a
comedy called Tin Voyage autour de ma Femme. We do not think
ciare mat you Dave never,s?;me enterprising individual would like to undertake the same
on any rare occasion, opened journey now_ ^s fashion has increased the circumference of a woman
one or tne poor mnocent s , ,0 aLll0st thafc of a m Paris> wg {&DCy Qur hardy voyageur would be
letters ( and have you not j rired before he had circumambulated even one half of the outer Boule-
been ready to cry with vex- vards_ It would be like walkrng round the skirts of a crinoiilie
ation, when you found that metropolis. Seats should be erected at certain distances, to enable the
jour suspicions had been tired f u t t
POttM, BY an academician, on hearing that the rainbow rubens
had been lost TO the national gallery.
What's the cause as Sir C. Eastlake
Never seems to set his best leg
Foremost, when he's buying picters ?
Now he's gone and lost that Rob ens,
And there'll be no end of snubbins
For the unfortunate Direc ors.
P.S. Likewise the Press will make their strictures.
rousedbyno hingbetterthau
a tailor's piteous application for money ?—Do your powers of recollection
enable you to give impartially the secrtt history of every " Sick Head-
ache," that has prevented your corning down to dinner ? and, also, is
your memory strong enough to describe the various remedies that have
been employed before the same, could, or would, be relieved?—Have
you never, in a fit of unconti oil able indignation, threatened to g ■ home
to your mamma? and can you, without much prejudice, inform us who
was to blame in each instance for such provocation ?—Have you anything
to reproach yourself with regard to that same " inamaia? " Sh-, is an
excellent woman, of course; but was it the best policy, do y. u think,
to have her so incessantly in the house ? or, granting that necessity,
was it prudent, or kind, do you imagine, to make all the arrangements
of the house subservient to her comfort ? and to neglect your husband's - —
wants to attend to her whims and fancies ? Ar.d again, we must put' A View of Societ frcm a Police 0ffice.
to you the rude question, whether, on second reflection, it would not j
have been, perhaps, better to have denied her the very free use of that i Tub poverb admonishes us that " we should speak of a man as we
black paint that she dehghted in besmearing your husband wirh evcy , find him." But if Magistrates spoke of men as they fined them, their
day from heat to foot? and we trust you will tell us whether the conclusion as to mankind would not, we are afraid, be a very flattering
result of those noirceurs was not to make out your husband (supposing; one. Their speaking would amount to this unnatural division:—that
he was already a little bit of a " black sheep") to be a thousand times \ one half of men were drunkards or thieves, and that the other half
blacker than t here was any humane occasion for ?—Have you never pur-: were no better, with the further iniquity of beating: their wives. We
posely mislaid—in other words, hidden—the key of the cellarette, when must say that we know many estimable men who do not belong either
your husband brought home a few friends to supper?—Have you never, to one moiety or the other.
when an invitation has come that your husband was particularly anxious__
you shou!d accept, equivocated just a little by saying that "you had not a
gown to go in?" and was not the object of such equivocation, if we j BLTTER BAD THOUGHTS,
might be allowed to hint such a thing, to put your husband's well known du e
generosity to the test?—Talking of dresses, do you recollect that beautiful By a BlUer Bad Mon
moire antique that you Saved by a beautiful financial COUp de main Out of The Law ruins men, and Fashion women.
the pies and puddings ? Was it fair to the poor fellow when he is so fond £here j8 a fi,tness ™ al1 ,hinss> excepting cheap clothes.
„r i _ i j- j i l u -j It s a bad plan not to grumble—the wheel isn t oiled till it creaks.
or gooseberry-puddmg, and you know he has said over and over again The man *ho inteads |6tting round his wife must start very early in the morning.
that tie COuld dine off cherry-tart?—Are yOU quite Sure that the COok Prosperity shines on different p-rsons much in the same way that the Sun shines on
does not know how to COok tripe ? Or is it because VOU think it vulga different objects. Some it hardens like mud, whilst others it softens like wax.
-or because you do not like it , ourself-thatyou always, refuse to let JJtToS^S^^ * ^W ** tollede^d^to roast
your OUSOand have SOme tor SUpper r—Which IS the mOSt advisable, do Hail a cab in bad weather, and it may come to your assistance ; but hail a friend in
you think, to allow smoking at, home, Or to drive your hu-band Out yoiir adversity, and see what notice he will take of you.
of do ;rs to have his cigar elsewhere ?—And, when he has come home !jife is * Roma."c? w2lich mof.y?ung lad,\es w0"l<? likf ,0 beS;n reading the third
1 , j i j ! ., ■, . j 5 , , , . -.1 volume first—as it is the one winch generally contains the marriage.
late and tired, do you think it kind, or generous, to pester him with a
long string of questions as to where he has been ? and what he has been
doing? and whether he is not ashamed of himself? aud whether it
wuuid not be better for him to spend his money ou his family ? &c, &c,
&c, all of which questions he could answer a thousand times better in
A Fashionable Dialogue.
Locality :—A Fashionable Mansion in a Fashionable Street.
the morning ? and lastly, we will ask you, supposing you wanted to go 1 Sir William W. [ringing violently). Oh ! tell me, Jane, what is that
to sleep, how would you like it yourself ? confounded Van waiting at the door for ?
(P.S. It is to be hoped that the Wife, who takes upon herself to Jmer If>ru please, Sir it's the Milliner, who has sent it to fetch
answer the above questions, will do so without prevarication, or losing awa? her Ladyship 3 new dress, wmch isn t quite big enough, Sir.
her temper. Any excitement in this hot weather is both dangerous and----
unpleasant.)
unifobm neglect.
The day after the apparition of the Yankee at Her Majesty's levee
Odd for Justice.—The name of the Belgian Minis'er of Justice in a black cravat, the English Funds actually declined. A correspondent
(he is now in Trance "arranging the project of law on the press") is draws from the fact the following Moral :—The "ties" of the two
Nothumb. Notedmb, and a Minister of Justice ! How does he nations must be extremely loose, when "cravats" can thus affect the
manage to hold the scales ? I " stocks !"
17
RHDE QUESTIONS TO A WIFE.
ell us, do you recollect
what jour feelings were im-
mediately after you had
given jour husband co'd
meat for dinner ? Did you
not fed ashamed, and angry
with yourself, and vow lb at
jou would never do so
again ?—Do you mean to
say you have never searched
your husband's pockets?
Have you not blushed a
papal scarlet when you
found that they containtd
- only some cigar - ends, a
; musty glove or two, a few
halfpence well pined with
■ biscuit crumbs, and, perhaps,
an old play bill ?— Can you,
also, lay your hand upon the
tea-caddy, aud solemnly de
CAPTAIN PEN.
Our readers are requested not to draw any uncharitable inference
from the absence of "Our Special Correspondent" from his proper
place in the triumphal procession of the Guards. Mr. Punch knows
that circumstances not at present to be dwelt upon, prevented the
appearance of " Our Special Correspondent," upon whom, on his way
with the troops to the Park, so many fair hands would have rained
roses. However, at the time we write, it has been decided to mark, in
as significant a manner a3 possible, the vital services of " Our Special
Correspondent" as the saviour of the remnant of the Crimean Army.
To this end, a herald (probably Mr. Planche, as the most acco aplished
equestrian) will ride upon a piebald horse (piebald, to mark the black
and white of letters), the herald wearing a tabard formed of a copy of
the Times. He will carry a magnificent gold inkstand (the gold from
the Ural mountains) in which will be a scow-white swan-quill. In this
manner will Captain Sword delight to honour Captain Pen.
GOOD EXERCISE FOR STOUT PERSONS.
A Few years back, there was p oduced at the Ode"on in Paris a
comedy called Tin Voyage autour de ma Femme. We do not think
ciare mat you Dave never,s?;me enterprising individual would like to undertake the same
on any rare occasion, opened journey now_ ^s fashion has increased the circumference of a woman
one or tne poor mnocent s , ,0 aLll0st thafc of a m Paris> wg {&DCy Qur hardy voyageur would be
letters ( and have you not j rired before he had circumambulated even one half of the outer Boule-
been ready to cry with vex- vards_ It would be like walkrng round the skirts of a crinoiilie
ation, when you found that metropolis. Seats should be erected at certain distances, to enable the
jour suspicions had been tired f u t t
POttM, BY an academician, on hearing that the rainbow rubens
had been lost TO the national gallery.
What's the cause as Sir C. Eastlake
Never seems to set his best leg
Foremost, when he's buying picters ?
Now he's gone and lost that Rob ens,
And there'll be no end of snubbins
For the unfortunate Direc ors.
P.S. Likewise the Press will make their strictures.
rousedbyno hingbetterthau
a tailor's piteous application for money ?—Do your powers of recollection
enable you to give impartially the secrtt history of every " Sick Head-
ache," that has prevented your corning down to dinner ? and, also, is
your memory strong enough to describe the various remedies that have
been employed before the same, could, or would, be relieved?—Have
you never, in a fit of unconti oil able indignation, threatened to g ■ home
to your mamma? and can you, without much prejudice, inform us who
was to blame in each instance for such provocation ?—Have you anything
to reproach yourself with regard to that same " inamaia? " Sh-, is an
excellent woman, of course; but was it the best policy, do y. u think,
to have her so incessantly in the house ? or, granting that necessity,
was it prudent, or kind, do you imagine, to make all the arrangements
of the house subservient to her comfort ? and to neglect your husband's - —
wants to attend to her whims and fancies ? Ar.d again, we must put' A View of Societ frcm a Police 0ffice.
to you the rude question, whether, on second reflection, it would not j
have been, perhaps, better to have denied her the very free use of that i Tub poverb admonishes us that " we should speak of a man as we
black paint that she dehghted in besmearing your husband wirh evcy , find him." But if Magistrates spoke of men as they fined them, their
day from heat to foot? and we trust you will tell us whether the conclusion as to mankind would not, we are afraid, be a very flattering
result of those noirceurs was not to make out your husband (supposing; one. Their speaking would amount to this unnatural division:—that
he was already a little bit of a " black sheep") to be a thousand times \ one half of men were drunkards or thieves, and that the other half
blacker than t here was any humane occasion for ?—Have you never pur-: were no better, with the further iniquity of beating: their wives. We
posely mislaid—in other words, hidden—the key of the cellarette, when must say that we know many estimable men who do not belong either
your husband brought home a few friends to supper?—Have you never, to one moiety or the other.
when an invitation has come that your husband was particularly anxious__
you shou!d accept, equivocated just a little by saying that "you had not a
gown to go in?" and was not the object of such equivocation, if we j BLTTER BAD THOUGHTS,
might be allowed to hint such a thing, to put your husband's well known du e
generosity to the test?—Talking of dresses, do you recollect that beautiful By a BlUer Bad Mon
moire antique that you Saved by a beautiful financial COUp de main Out of The Law ruins men, and Fashion women.
the pies and puddings ? Was it fair to the poor fellow when he is so fond £here j8 a fi,tness ™ al1 ,hinss> excepting cheap clothes.
„r i _ i j- j i l u -j It s a bad plan not to grumble—the wheel isn t oiled till it creaks.
or gooseberry-puddmg, and you know he has said over and over again The man *ho inteads |6tting round his wife must start very early in the morning.
that tie COuld dine off cherry-tart?—Are yOU quite Sure that the COok Prosperity shines on different p-rsons much in the same way that the Sun shines on
does not know how to COok tripe ? Or is it because VOU think it vulga different objects. Some it hardens like mud, whilst others it softens like wax.
-or because you do not like it , ourself-thatyou always, refuse to let JJtToS^S^^ * ^W ** tollede^d^to roast
your OUSOand have SOme tor SUpper r—Which IS the mOSt advisable, do Hail a cab in bad weather, and it may come to your assistance ; but hail a friend in
you think, to allow smoking at, home, Or to drive your hu-band Out yoiir adversity, and see what notice he will take of you.
of do ;rs to have his cigar elsewhere ?—And, when he has come home !jife is * Roma."c? w2lich mof.y?ung lad,\es w0"l<? likf ,0 beS;n reading the third
1 , j i j ! ., ■, . j 5 , , , . -.1 volume first—as it is the one winch generally contains the marriage.
late and tired, do you think it kind, or generous, to pester him with a
long string of questions as to where he has been ? and what he has been
doing? and whether he is not ashamed of himself? aud whether it
wuuid not be better for him to spend his money ou his family ? &c, &c,
&c, all of which questions he could answer a thousand times better in
A Fashionable Dialogue.
Locality :—A Fashionable Mansion in a Fashionable Street.
the morning ? and lastly, we will ask you, supposing you wanted to go 1 Sir William W. [ringing violently). Oh ! tell me, Jane, what is that
to sleep, how would you like it yourself ? confounded Van waiting at the door for ?
(P.S. It is to be hoped that the Wife, who takes upon herself to Jmer If>ru please, Sir it's the Milliner, who has sent it to fetch
answer the above questions, will do so without prevarication, or losing awa? her Ladyship 3 new dress, wmch isn t quite big enough, Sir.
her temper. Any excitement in this hot weather is both dangerous and----
unpleasant.)
unifobm neglect.
The day after the apparition of the Yankee at Her Majesty's levee
Odd for Justice.—The name of the Belgian Minis'er of Justice in a black cravat, the English Funds actually declined. A correspondent
(he is now in Trance "arranging the project of law on the press") is draws from the fact the following Moral :—The "ties" of the two
Nothumb. Notedmb, and a Minister of Justice ! How does he nations must be extremely loose, when "cravats" can thus affect the
manage to hold the scales ? I " stocks !"