DOI issue:
July 19, 1856
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0030
22
[July 19, 1850.
his goodness, and that other nations ought not to interfere, lhe Chehea report, about
the Crimean blunderers, has gone before the Queen, but is not yet . eady for the public.
In the Commons, the Hero of Kars took his seat for Calne amid hearty cheering. A
desperate row upon the Sadleir question rais( d on Tuesday, made the evening pass pleasantly
enough.
Hint for a Photographer's Tent.
Our Photographer invents a Tent.
A PRINCE OF DIAMONDS!
Pbince Esterhazy proposes to come out ia a
blaze at the Russian Coronation : his dress is to
shine like the firmament with diamonds. We
learn that the buttons of the "doliman"—the
dollman, it seems, is the jacket hanging over
the shoulder ; though we should rather translate
it man-doll or doll of a man—are all diamonds
of the finest Hungary water, and the cla3p of
the heron-plume alone worth £30,000. We have
heard, in very mixed society, various opinions
of the uses of an Esterhazy so bejewelled.
" What a tteasure he'd be," said a meek g ntle-
woman to her gossip and friend, " what a
treasure he'd be if only shared among poor
widows and orphans!" "Shouldn't jou like,
Bill, to toss him an hour in a blanket for the
chance of what he'd leave behind him ? " " Veil,
I declare," said Mr. Lazarus, of Hounds-
ditch, to Mr. Abednego, of the Minories,
both much given to the sudorification of sove-
reigns ; "Veil, if ve only had the shakin on him
in a bag, it shouldn't be our fault if arter that,
the mot tier that bored him knowed him."
An Out and Out Trick.
(To be played in an Omnibus.)
If asked to go outside "to oblige a Lady,"
plead as an excuse that >ou would, but you dare
not, for " you only recovered from the Typhus
yesterday," and instantly there will be room for
the Lady, as every gentleman present will, all of
a sudden, be only too glad to go outside.
" QUIETNERS."
"Men aie but children of a larger growth," says the bard. Children,
the truant libertines of garden or oichaid, will cram of all fruits within
their power of picking; then comes sickness, then physic,—and then,
it may be, restored health, and will renewed to cram and be ill again.
Men take their fruit fermented, and, beii g fuddled and fractious, what
are tht-y but mischievous, roaring babies, whom for quiet-sake and the
repose of the household, it is absolutely necessary to silence and send
to bed? If in the case of the bigger baby, the child of five feet eight or
ten, the bed is made in a grave, well the sickness is cured past all
return, and the child of larger growth is never noisy, never naughty,
again.
A paternal Government, no doubt for a wise purpose of its own, to
be at some time made manifest to a people at present in darkness,
permits the anxious mother to pbysic, at the peril of her own know-
ledge, her invalid, or ill-tempered babies. The syrup is sanctified by a
stamp, and the Chancellor of the Exchequer, with both instinctive
haiids in his pockets, smiles as the hardy parent uncorks the precious
stuff, and pours a full conscientious dose into baby's mouth. Soon the
roaring bahy holds its peace: its little head, like head of poppy, full of
oblivion. In this way mothers, time out of mind, have been allowed
by the remunerated state to put their little ones to such vitreous
wet-nurses ; the Milk of Lethe, Cherub's Cordial, and such sweet-named
nourishers.
And no»v wives have taken the bigger children in hand, and—the
custom, it seems, is common as camomile in Bolton—and physic their
husbands. Mks. But^y M'Mtjllen has, no doubt, accidentally
" accelerated the death " of her spouse, by pinching him onward with
certain doses of tartarised antimony and cream of tartar. It would
seem that, tipsy husbands aoounded in Bolton, and in their hours of
liquor they were, if they only knew it, much beholden to their wives,
who, pui chasing at once their diplomas and their medicine for a penny,
are apt to administer the afoiesaid antimony to their inebriated halves,
even as they give Government anodyne to their restless children.
The conjugal powders are called,"in the town of Bolton, "quietners."
In the case of poor Mr. M'Mtjllen ttey have been proved worthy of
their rame. These "quietners" ace sold at one penny each; commonlv,
openly, as salts or rhubarb. "I do not remember," deposed Mr. j.
Kowland Simpson, druggist, of Bolton, "that men ever purchased
tbem. iiusbands aie so timid. Wives, however, were constant
customers ;a although they were rarely permitted to carry away a single
^e nef. without at the same time carrying with them, if they so
reeded, the conscientious counsel of Mr. Simpson, who would warn
them to be careful of it, and to divide each powder into four
do*es.
It was deposed by a servant, that Mrs, M'Mtjllen—when she thought
her husband the worse or the better for liquor—would give him sundry
" pinches " of this white powder. Shakspeare speaks of
a lover's pinch, that hurts and yet's desired."
It must be otherwise with the pinch conjugal; especially when the
Tartarised partner of a bosom pinches tartarised antimony and cream
of tartar, witn Tartarus ending all. As, however, Mrs. M'Mtjllen is
in bonds, awaiting an inquiry, to be conducted and presided over by
robe and horse-hair, we touch our hat, and leave her to the issue.
We have only to suggest to the Government that, hencefoith,
druggists dealing in poisons—vending the means of mortality in penny
packets—should be compelled to put out an external sign of their
interior traffic. Eor instance: as, for the most part, druggists have a
bright ruby-coloured lamp over their doors, we would have quartered
in the red field a skull and cross-bones proper. This would give fair
notice to all purchasers. Even as the gilt bunch of grapes over the
publican's door avouches him licensed to sell his penn'orths of oblivion,
so would the death's-head mutely declare that cheap poisons were lo be
had within; moreover, dumbly warning the drunkaid of "'quietners"
and the arav?.
Philosophical Reflection on a Cabstand.
Before entering into a cab, numbers of cabmen will surround you
and almost fight for the honour of your company; but when you leave
it, not a soul takes any notice of you, and you may consider yourself
lucky, if the fellow you have been patronising does not turn round and
abuse you! And so it is the same wi'h friends. They will flock round
you when first you enter into a fortune; but how many ate thereat
your siue when once you have gone tliiough it?
little angels.
The order of the Seraphim was almost as good an order as could
have been bestowed on little Lotjis Napoleon. There is only one that
would have been more appropriate ; the order of the Cherubim : since
plenty of other children have been invested with that order in being
commonly described as tombstone cherubs.
Medicine and Attendance Bill.
The Medical Bill is thrown over for the present; and, as it proposed
to inflict a registration-fine upon all practitioners, without procuring
them any equivalent advantage, we should say that its abandonment is
a good job lor the profession. The only Medical Bill likely to do the
doctors much good is that little Bill which, we trust, they will get
settled for them all at Christmas.
[July 19, 1850.
his goodness, and that other nations ought not to interfere, lhe Chehea report, about
the Crimean blunderers, has gone before the Queen, but is not yet . eady for the public.
In the Commons, the Hero of Kars took his seat for Calne amid hearty cheering. A
desperate row upon the Sadleir question rais( d on Tuesday, made the evening pass pleasantly
enough.
Hint for a Photographer's Tent.
Our Photographer invents a Tent.
A PRINCE OF DIAMONDS!
Pbince Esterhazy proposes to come out ia a
blaze at the Russian Coronation : his dress is to
shine like the firmament with diamonds. We
learn that the buttons of the "doliman"—the
dollman, it seems, is the jacket hanging over
the shoulder ; though we should rather translate
it man-doll or doll of a man—are all diamonds
of the finest Hungary water, and the cla3p of
the heron-plume alone worth £30,000. We have
heard, in very mixed society, various opinions
of the uses of an Esterhazy so bejewelled.
" What a tteasure he'd be," said a meek g ntle-
woman to her gossip and friend, " what a
treasure he'd be if only shared among poor
widows and orphans!" "Shouldn't jou like,
Bill, to toss him an hour in a blanket for the
chance of what he'd leave behind him ? " " Veil,
I declare," said Mr. Lazarus, of Hounds-
ditch, to Mr. Abednego, of the Minories,
both much given to the sudorification of sove-
reigns ; "Veil, if ve only had the shakin on him
in a bag, it shouldn't be our fault if arter that,
the mot tier that bored him knowed him."
An Out and Out Trick.
(To be played in an Omnibus.)
If asked to go outside "to oblige a Lady,"
plead as an excuse that >ou would, but you dare
not, for " you only recovered from the Typhus
yesterday," and instantly there will be room for
the Lady, as every gentleman present will, all of
a sudden, be only too glad to go outside.
" QUIETNERS."
"Men aie but children of a larger growth," says the bard. Children,
the truant libertines of garden or oichaid, will cram of all fruits within
their power of picking; then comes sickness, then physic,—and then,
it may be, restored health, and will renewed to cram and be ill again.
Men take their fruit fermented, and, beii g fuddled and fractious, what
are tht-y but mischievous, roaring babies, whom for quiet-sake and the
repose of the household, it is absolutely necessary to silence and send
to bed? If in the case of the bigger baby, the child of five feet eight or
ten, the bed is made in a grave, well the sickness is cured past all
return, and the child of larger growth is never noisy, never naughty,
again.
A paternal Government, no doubt for a wise purpose of its own, to
be at some time made manifest to a people at present in darkness,
permits the anxious mother to pbysic, at the peril of her own know-
ledge, her invalid, or ill-tempered babies. The syrup is sanctified by a
stamp, and the Chancellor of the Exchequer, with both instinctive
haiids in his pockets, smiles as the hardy parent uncorks the precious
stuff, and pours a full conscientious dose into baby's mouth. Soon the
roaring bahy holds its peace: its little head, like head of poppy, full of
oblivion. In this way mothers, time out of mind, have been allowed
by the remunerated state to put their little ones to such vitreous
wet-nurses ; the Milk of Lethe, Cherub's Cordial, and such sweet-named
nourishers.
And no»v wives have taken the bigger children in hand, and—the
custom, it seems, is common as camomile in Bolton—and physic their
husbands. Mks. But^y M'Mtjllen has, no doubt, accidentally
" accelerated the death " of her spouse, by pinching him onward with
certain doses of tartarised antimony and cream of tartar. It would
seem that, tipsy husbands aoounded in Bolton, and in their hours of
liquor they were, if they only knew it, much beholden to their wives,
who, pui chasing at once their diplomas and their medicine for a penny,
are apt to administer the afoiesaid antimony to their inebriated halves,
even as they give Government anodyne to their restless children.
The conjugal powders are called,"in the town of Bolton, "quietners."
In the case of poor Mr. M'Mtjllen ttey have been proved worthy of
their rame. These "quietners" ace sold at one penny each; commonlv,
openly, as salts or rhubarb. "I do not remember," deposed Mr. j.
Kowland Simpson, druggist, of Bolton, "that men ever purchased
tbem. iiusbands aie so timid. Wives, however, were constant
customers ;a although they were rarely permitted to carry away a single
^e nef. without at the same time carrying with them, if they so
reeded, the conscientious counsel of Mr. Simpson, who would warn
them to be careful of it, and to divide each powder into four
do*es.
It was deposed by a servant, that Mrs, M'Mtjllen—when she thought
her husband the worse or the better for liquor—would give him sundry
" pinches " of this white powder. Shakspeare speaks of
a lover's pinch, that hurts and yet's desired."
It must be otherwise with the pinch conjugal; especially when the
Tartarised partner of a bosom pinches tartarised antimony and cream
of tartar, witn Tartarus ending all. As, however, Mrs. M'Mtjllen is
in bonds, awaiting an inquiry, to be conducted and presided over by
robe and horse-hair, we touch our hat, and leave her to the issue.
We have only to suggest to the Government that, hencefoith,
druggists dealing in poisons—vending the means of mortality in penny
packets—should be compelled to put out an external sign of their
interior traffic. Eor instance: as, for the most part, druggists have a
bright ruby-coloured lamp over their doors, we would have quartered
in the red field a skull and cross-bones proper. This would give fair
notice to all purchasers. Even as the gilt bunch of grapes over the
publican's door avouches him licensed to sell his penn'orths of oblivion,
so would the death's-head mutely declare that cheap poisons were lo be
had within; moreover, dumbly warning the drunkaid of "'quietners"
and the arav?.
Philosophical Reflection on a Cabstand.
Before entering into a cab, numbers of cabmen will surround you
and almost fight for the honour of your company; but when you leave
it, not a soul takes any notice of you, and you may consider yourself
lucky, if the fellow you have been patronising does not turn round and
abuse you! And so it is the same wi'h friends. They will flock round
you when first you enter into a fortune; but how many ate thereat
your siue when once you have gone tliiough it?
little angels.
The order of the Seraphim was almost as good an order as could
have been bestowed on little Lotjis Napoleon. There is only one that
would have been more appropriate ; the order of the Cherubim : since
plenty of other children have been invested with that order in being
commonly described as tombstone cherubs.
Medicine and Attendance Bill.
The Medical Bill is thrown over for the present; and, as it proposed
to inflict a registration-fine upon all practitioners, without procuring
them any equivalent advantage, we should say that its abandonment is
a good job lor the profession. The only Medical Bill likely to do the
doctors much good is that little Bill which, we trust, they will get
settled for them all at Christmas.