DOI Heft:
July 19, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0038
30 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Jolt 19, 1856.
literally driven from our mural annals by the Reverend
Stars whose names figure, in type of all sizes and of every
degree of blackness, on the hoardings and empty houses in
the neighbourhood of the Victoria. We ought to feel no
doubt that the notice we have taken of this subject will be
extremely gratifying to the pious individuals who are being
so pertinaciously placarded and puffed; for as they are
continually denouncing pride and all the mundane failings,
they should naturally be extremely averse to any course
that is only calculated to engender a vanity which it is their
peculiar province to protest against.
" BRADSHAW A MYSTERY.
" Mr. Punch,
" Among the millions who read and profit by you,
the railway-traveller ought to be especially thankful. Your
exposition of Bradshatc was at once humane and masterly.
Nevertheless, you omitted to do justice to a great social
lesson at present illustrated in Bradshaw for July, 1856.
Take care of the pence, says the pocket proverb, and the
pounds will take care of themselves. In like manner I
would counsel the student of Bradshaw: take care of the
minutes, and he may find the hours all right. The
exceeding worth of ten minutes was emphatically taught
me on Sunday July 6.
"My destination, Mr. Bunch, was Folkstone. What
said Bradshaw? I quote that print.— "July 6, Leave
London 8h. 10m. a.m." I particularly request you to
ma' k the " 10m." As a traveller, Mr. Bunch, I am always
befoie my time. I am not one of the people who take a
running leap from the pier to the packet when the paddles
are turning; I do not vault into a railway-carriage with
the whistle screaming departure. No, Sir! a clear, ciean
ten minutes at least, I always allow for calm and needful
preparation. I never, Sir, was too late in my life bat once:
and that was when my wife only had to put her bonnet
on ; au operation that has certainly increased in difficulty
as the bonnet itself has diminished in quantity. When
our wives have no bonnet at all to put on—and they are
fast coming to it, skirts now swallowing everything;
niT.tTT.rroT h -»T , /rt-nniw ft -Km™o"ot> nATHT n-p iTT^Tirx I indeed, so much so, that one's better half ha3 become ai
OMKIBTJSIANA (FROM ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW). least f'our times one's double-when they have no bonnet
Irritable Old Gentleman (giving Conductor a tremendous poke in the ribs). " Hollo j whatever, the time to put it on will be untd the end of
there ! Stop' What the D * * * * Confound you, Didn't I tell tou Stop ; m£erJ ,s c , t i r t t j
* ,v ,„ However, to return to ' Sunday, July 6, Leave London
at acacia villa. \8k ]Cte am„ ItQok geat at &ome fouf mjnutest0
Extremely Civil Conductor. "Dear Me, so you did, Sir,—I eeg your Pardon,
I'm sure, Sir, but I really quite Forgot it."
Irritable Old Gentlemen. " D-d-d-don't Beg my Pardon, you Impudent Scoun-
drel!—If you give me any of your Bad Language, I'll have sou up as
sure as you 're born."
PIOUS PUFFERY.
We have from time to time called the attention of the public to the system of
pious puffery which has been brought into existence by the demand for religious
excitement, and which has been extensively employed for the purpose of adver-
tising popular preachers, or pious periodicals. In what may be called low religious
neighbourhoods, the plan of bill-sticking has been very generally adopted with
the view of obtaining notoriety for certain names, and the walls appear to be divided
between the theatres and the chapels, the pet parsons and the popular comedians.
In one particular neighbourhood the broadsides proclaiming the attractions of the
conventicle are so blended with those inviting audiences to the playhouse, that it
is really aifhcult at first sight to distinguish one from the of her; ana a glance
is likely to create in our minds a confusion as to whether the Kev. C. Spukgeon
is to be seen " every night at half-price," or whether it is Mr. Wright or the
Rev. Something Binney that appears " during the week" in " A Bottle of
Smoke at the Adelphi." We are strong advocates for the " Religion of Every-
day Life," in its legitimate sense, but w*» object very much to the introduction of
relig ious phraseology—which is a very different thing from religion itself—on all
occasions, and at all times, and in all places.
We fancy that we have rather subdued the speculators who must have disturbed
the tranq'iil humility of Dr. Cumming's mind by puffing him, in order to sell his
books—tor there is rather less of that offensive sort of thing than there used to be,
but there is a class of preachers over the water who are being advertised to an
extent that would bring a blush into the countenance of Professor Hollow ay,
or any other of those celebrities to whom columns have been raised on the
advertising sheet of every Newspaper. Now Mr. Spurgeon is becoming as
familiar to the readers of posting bills 011 the Surrey side of the Thames, as " Tom
Barry 5 the ex-clown at Astley's formerly used to be, and Binney m three
sermons seems to be taking the place once occupied bv Ducrow on five horses
on the dead walls of the Metropolis. Our gallant old favourite, N. T. Hicks, is
eight. Very good. Before my time, as usual. The four
minutes passed; the whistle screamed, and the clock struck
eight as we flew to Folkstone, arriving at that ancient
borough in two hours and ten minutes; it must be
owned, a most satisfactory transit from the Thames to the
sad sea waves.
" Now, Sir, had I, with many a hopeful traveller arrived
at one, two, or three minutes past eight, believing in
Bradshaid's 8h. 10m., I had been left behind. Bradshaw,
who ought to be infallible—for consider the trust that,
credulous mortals put in that podgiest and smallest of
quartos—Bradshaw said Sh. 10m. when the railway bill at
the station printed 8h. Simply eight hours, with not a
single supplemental minute.
" Well, Sir, what moral does this present to the traveller
(especially when consulting Bradshaw) if not that of ' take
care of the minutes, and tue hours will take care of them-
selves ?'
" I remain, Mr. Bunch,
" Carpet Bag."
Little Facts not Generally Known.
Thh man, who continually changes his lodging, evades the Income-
Tax.
The Beadle, whose palm is oceasionally crossed with a shilling,
experiences a great difficulty sometime!;, when hs has jury-numnionses
to serve, in findin^r your address.
When you are at the treadmill, the side cearest the wall is the
easiest.
Crossing-sweepers brooms last double the timo, since ladies' dresse3
have been so long.
The School-master, who flogs the boy, feels it a great deal more than
the boy he is flogging; at least the School-master always says sol
Compliments are only prismatic bubbles, blown with the aid of " soft
soap."
Women dread a Wit as they do a gun, ilcey are always afraid lest it
should go, and injure some one.
When a lazy man says "I'll do it at my leisure," you may take it for
granted, he'll never do it at all.
literally driven from our mural annals by the Reverend
Stars whose names figure, in type of all sizes and of every
degree of blackness, on the hoardings and empty houses in
the neighbourhood of the Victoria. We ought to feel no
doubt that the notice we have taken of this subject will be
extremely gratifying to the pious individuals who are being
so pertinaciously placarded and puffed; for as they are
continually denouncing pride and all the mundane failings,
they should naturally be extremely averse to any course
that is only calculated to engender a vanity which it is their
peculiar province to protest against.
" BRADSHAW A MYSTERY.
" Mr. Punch,
" Among the millions who read and profit by you,
the railway-traveller ought to be especially thankful. Your
exposition of Bradshatc was at once humane and masterly.
Nevertheless, you omitted to do justice to a great social
lesson at present illustrated in Bradshaw for July, 1856.
Take care of the pence, says the pocket proverb, and the
pounds will take care of themselves. In like manner I
would counsel the student of Bradshaw: take care of the
minutes, and he may find the hours all right. The
exceeding worth of ten minutes was emphatically taught
me on Sunday July 6.
"My destination, Mr. Bunch, was Folkstone. What
said Bradshaw? I quote that print.— "July 6, Leave
London 8h. 10m. a.m." I particularly request you to
ma' k the " 10m." As a traveller, Mr. Bunch, I am always
befoie my time. I am not one of the people who take a
running leap from the pier to the packet when the paddles
are turning; I do not vault into a railway-carriage with
the whistle screaming departure. No, Sir! a clear, ciean
ten minutes at least, I always allow for calm and needful
preparation. I never, Sir, was too late in my life bat once:
and that was when my wife only had to put her bonnet
on ; au operation that has certainly increased in difficulty
as the bonnet itself has diminished in quantity. When
our wives have no bonnet at all to put on—and they are
fast coming to it, skirts now swallowing everything;
niT.tTT.rroT h -»T , /rt-nniw ft -Km™o"ot> nATHT n-p iTT^Tirx I indeed, so much so, that one's better half ha3 become ai
OMKIBTJSIANA (FROM ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW). least f'our times one's double-when they have no bonnet
Irritable Old Gentleman (giving Conductor a tremendous poke in the ribs). " Hollo j whatever, the time to put it on will be untd the end of
there ! Stop' What the D * * * * Confound you, Didn't I tell tou Stop ; m£erJ ,s c , t i r t t j
* ,v ,„ However, to return to ' Sunday, July 6, Leave London
at acacia villa. \8k ]Cte am„ ItQok geat at &ome fouf mjnutest0
Extremely Civil Conductor. "Dear Me, so you did, Sir,—I eeg your Pardon,
I'm sure, Sir, but I really quite Forgot it."
Irritable Old Gentlemen. " D-d-d-don't Beg my Pardon, you Impudent Scoun-
drel!—If you give me any of your Bad Language, I'll have sou up as
sure as you 're born."
PIOUS PUFFERY.
We have from time to time called the attention of the public to the system of
pious puffery which has been brought into existence by the demand for religious
excitement, and which has been extensively employed for the purpose of adver-
tising popular preachers, or pious periodicals. In what may be called low religious
neighbourhoods, the plan of bill-sticking has been very generally adopted with
the view of obtaining notoriety for certain names, and the walls appear to be divided
between the theatres and the chapels, the pet parsons and the popular comedians.
In one particular neighbourhood the broadsides proclaiming the attractions of the
conventicle are so blended with those inviting audiences to the playhouse, that it
is really aifhcult at first sight to distinguish one from the of her; ana a glance
is likely to create in our minds a confusion as to whether the Kev. C. Spukgeon
is to be seen " every night at half-price," or whether it is Mr. Wright or the
Rev. Something Binney that appears " during the week" in " A Bottle of
Smoke at the Adelphi." We are strong advocates for the " Religion of Every-
day Life," in its legitimate sense, but w*» object very much to the introduction of
relig ious phraseology—which is a very different thing from religion itself—on all
occasions, and at all times, and in all places.
We fancy that we have rather subdued the speculators who must have disturbed
the tranq'iil humility of Dr. Cumming's mind by puffing him, in order to sell his
books—tor there is rather less of that offensive sort of thing than there used to be,
but there is a class of preachers over the water who are being advertised to an
extent that would bring a blush into the countenance of Professor Hollow ay,
or any other of those celebrities to whom columns have been raised on the
advertising sheet of every Newspaper. Now Mr. Spurgeon is becoming as
familiar to the readers of posting bills 011 the Surrey side of the Thames, as " Tom
Barry 5 the ex-clown at Astley's formerly used to be, and Binney m three
sermons seems to be taking the place once occupied bv Ducrow on five horses
on the dead walls of the Metropolis. Our gallant old favourite, N. T. Hicks, is
eight. Very good. Before my time, as usual. The four
minutes passed; the whistle screamed, and the clock struck
eight as we flew to Folkstone, arriving at that ancient
borough in two hours and ten minutes; it must be
owned, a most satisfactory transit from the Thames to the
sad sea waves.
" Now, Sir, had I, with many a hopeful traveller arrived
at one, two, or three minutes past eight, believing in
Bradshaid's 8h. 10m., I had been left behind. Bradshaw,
who ought to be infallible—for consider the trust that,
credulous mortals put in that podgiest and smallest of
quartos—Bradshaw said Sh. 10m. when the railway bill at
the station printed 8h. Simply eight hours, with not a
single supplemental minute.
" Well, Sir, what moral does this present to the traveller
(especially when consulting Bradshaw) if not that of ' take
care of the minutes, and tue hours will take care of them-
selves ?'
" I remain, Mr. Bunch,
" Carpet Bag."
Little Facts not Generally Known.
Thh man, who continually changes his lodging, evades the Income-
Tax.
The Beadle, whose palm is oceasionally crossed with a shilling,
experiences a great difficulty sometime!;, when hs has jury-numnionses
to serve, in findin^r your address.
When you are at the treadmill, the side cearest the wall is the
easiest.
Crossing-sweepers brooms last double the timo, since ladies' dresse3
have been so long.
The School-master, who flogs the boy, feels it a great deal more than
the boy he is flogging; at least the School-master always says sol
Compliments are only prismatic bubbles, blown with the aid of " soft
soap."
Women dread a Wit as they do a gun, ilcey are always afraid lest it
should go, and injure some one.
When a lazy man says "I'll do it at my leisure," you may take it for
granted, he'll never do it at all.