DOI issue:
August 9, 1856
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0068
60 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. August 9, 1856.
PHOTOGRAPHIC HUT AT ALDERSHOTT.
Disgust of a gallant Crimean Hero on seeing a " negative proof" of himself.
THE TONGUE OF PARLIAMENT.
Me. Wilkinson, ere the House broke up, made a laudable attempt
to reduce tbe length of all future speeches; but, as generally happens
"with good intentions, nothing came of it. The honourable Member
proposed that no future talker should be permitted to make a speech
of more than an hour long. Now, supposing that every member
resolved upon having his hour's worth of tongue—the hour to be in no
way abridged by coughing, scraping of boots, crowing of cocks, orother
parliamentary utterances—would not the evil, as at present lamented,
be_ frightfully increased? Whereas, as the mitigated calamity now
exists, the man who speaks more than an hour does no more than
borrow (and the loan is so tacitly granted) of the man who never speaks
at all._ How many a worthy gentleman who, on his first taking his
seat, is resolved to shake even Woolwich arsenal, and fulmine over
Piice's Candle Works, says nothing; but remains, like the snake
symbolic of eternity, with the tale he had to unfold still in his
mouth!
Nevertheless, we should like shorter speeches even from those who
are eloquent; and as an amendment on Mr. Wilkinson's motion
propose that, on the reassembling of Parliament, it be made a rule of
the House that no member should be allowed to address Mr. Speaker
if not standing upon one leg : Mr. Speaker to keep his eye upon that
leg, to the effect that any attempt to change the leg, or to place the
other leg momentarily upon the floor, should be conclusive speech.
Changing his leg, the orator should be held to have put his foot in tbe
question, and be forthwith ordered to sit down. Members of the
Government might be distinguished by standing on the right leg,—the
Opposition on the left. It is plain that if a man's subject be not full
and strong enough to supply him with sufficient vigour to stand upon
one leg until the subject be exhausted, the matter is not worth listening
to, and the sooner the speaker sits down the better for himself and tbe
House that does not attend to him. With our proposition adopted by
the Commons, of course no member with a wooden leg would be
eligible ;—not that we are aware of the present existence of any living
M.P.'s with wood in their legs, but Quite the reverse.
THE SOLDIERS' DINNER,
OR the dinner about to be given to the
Crimean soldiers, several distinguished
persons have volunteered their services.
Lord Lucan will receive the gallant
fellows on horseback ; the horse beiDg the
identical quadruped that lived upon horses'
tails under his Lordship's command during
the ever-glorious winter of 1854.
Lord Cardigan will keep the ground
in the very coat in which he charged
at Balaklava; the coat being warranted
by the Chelsea Commissioners as good
as new.
General Aibey and Colonel Gordon
(with knapsacks on their backs), com-
memorative of the no knapsacks of 1854,
will officiate as stewards. They will be
further known by rosettes of red tape to
be worn, vice Crimean medals.
Gross Misrepresentation.
The worthy Common Councilman who the other day proposed the
resolution of the Court, calling upon our excellent Lcbd Mayor
Salomons to present to the Corporation the portrait of himself so
conspicuous in the late Exhibition of the Royal Academy, complains
of being grievously misreported. He never spoke of the picture as
"a great work of art." He knows better. What he did call it was
" a large work of Hart."
In Russia, when a Cossack is at all extravagant, they say, "he's
eating his candle at both ends."
PHOTOGRAPHIC HUT AT ALDERSHOTT.
Disgust of a gallant Crimean Hero on seeing a " negative proof" of himself.
THE TONGUE OF PARLIAMENT.
Me. Wilkinson, ere the House broke up, made a laudable attempt
to reduce tbe length of all future speeches; but, as generally happens
"with good intentions, nothing came of it. The honourable Member
proposed that no future talker should be permitted to make a speech
of more than an hour long. Now, supposing that every member
resolved upon having his hour's worth of tongue—the hour to be in no
way abridged by coughing, scraping of boots, crowing of cocks, orother
parliamentary utterances—would not the evil, as at present lamented,
be_ frightfully increased? Whereas, as the mitigated calamity now
exists, the man who speaks more than an hour does no more than
borrow (and the loan is so tacitly granted) of the man who never speaks
at all._ How many a worthy gentleman who, on his first taking his
seat, is resolved to shake even Woolwich arsenal, and fulmine over
Piice's Candle Works, says nothing; but remains, like the snake
symbolic of eternity, with the tale he had to unfold still in his
mouth!
Nevertheless, we should like shorter speeches even from those who
are eloquent; and as an amendment on Mr. Wilkinson's motion
propose that, on the reassembling of Parliament, it be made a rule of
the House that no member should be allowed to address Mr. Speaker
if not standing upon one leg : Mr. Speaker to keep his eye upon that
leg, to the effect that any attempt to change the leg, or to place the
other leg momentarily upon the floor, should be conclusive speech.
Changing his leg, the orator should be held to have put his foot in tbe
question, and be forthwith ordered to sit down. Members of the
Government might be distinguished by standing on the right leg,—the
Opposition on the left. It is plain that if a man's subject be not full
and strong enough to supply him with sufficient vigour to stand upon
one leg until the subject be exhausted, the matter is not worth listening
to, and the sooner the speaker sits down the better for himself and tbe
House that does not attend to him. With our proposition adopted by
the Commons, of course no member with a wooden leg would be
eligible ;—not that we are aware of the present existence of any living
M.P.'s with wood in their legs, but Quite the reverse.
THE SOLDIERS' DINNER,
OR the dinner about to be given to the
Crimean soldiers, several distinguished
persons have volunteered their services.
Lord Lucan will receive the gallant
fellows on horseback ; the horse beiDg the
identical quadruped that lived upon horses'
tails under his Lordship's command during
the ever-glorious winter of 1854.
Lord Cardigan will keep the ground
in the very coat in which he charged
at Balaklava; the coat being warranted
by the Chelsea Commissioners as good
as new.
General Aibey and Colonel Gordon
(with knapsacks on their backs), com-
memorative of the no knapsacks of 1854,
will officiate as stewards. They will be
further known by rosettes of red tape to
be worn, vice Crimean medals.
Gross Misrepresentation.
The worthy Common Councilman who the other day proposed the
resolution of the Court, calling upon our excellent Lcbd Mayor
Salomons to present to the Corporation the portrait of himself so
conspicuous in the late Exhibition of the Royal Academy, complains
of being grievously misreported. He never spoke of the picture as
"a great work of art." He knows better. What he did call it was
" a large work of Hart."
In Russia, when a Cossack is at all extravagant, they say, "he's
eating his candle at both ends."